Galbatorix's Point of View

Galbatorix's Point of View

Author's Note: I do not own Eragon (thank God).

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Eragon burst into Galbatorix's throne room. The Varden and the Imperial Army were engaged in a massive battle outside. Men were dropping like flies. The screams of agony could be heard even in the security of the inner throne room.

"Galbatorix," Eragon yelled, "Can you hear what your madness is causing? The deaths of thousands are all on your head, you monster!"

Galbatorix got up from his throne, "My fault!" he said, "My fault! It's your fault!"

"It is your fault, Galbatorix! We lived in peace under the Riders' rule and you destroyed them!"

"Yeah, well you'd still be living in peace if the Varden stopped attacking me. You can't rule an Empire for hundreds of years through fear alone. I'd have been dethrowned long ago. So clearly I'm doing something right."

"We are fighting for our freedom!"

"Yeah, well you know what another word for a freedom fighter is? That's right, terrorist. T-E-R-R-O-R-I-S-T! You've killed so many Imperial Soldiers, men who were only doing their duty and earning money for their families! You've stolen important state goods! You've killed my envoy and refused my offer of peace! The most evil thing I've ever done is make people pay taxes! Well, guess what Chucko? I got my throne through a rebellion against the arsehole Riders, and you intend to do the same thing! If you guys win, you'll place your own candidate on the throne, start a new and less stable Empire, and people will still have to pay taxes!"

" You've drafted men into your army! You sentenced them to die!"

"No, you have sentenced them to die! As the ruler, I have a right to draft people when I'm trying to put down a terrorist threat. It's not my fault when you guys brutally kill them!"

"You destroyed the Riders!"

"Imagine this: I have a cute little puppy who is my best friend in the world. I take him out for a walk. We are ambushed and the puppy dies. Distraught, I go back to the dog breeder and ask for a new one, which they could give me. They say no. So I overthrow their corrupt regime and establish a new, more unified and stable one. Now I'm even trying to rebuild the Riders! And you keep trying to stop me."

"You disagree with the elves! They're beautiful and perfect and wise."

"Are you kidding me? Beautiful, I'll give you, but perfect and wise? They're hypocrites. They scold humans and dwarves for building monuments to our religions instead of giving the money to the poor, but it is perfectly alright in their eyes to use their plant-controlling magic to make lovely little homes for themselves and nothing else, instead of, say, helping farmers in times of famine by singing their fields into fertility. And wise? They're atheist. They have fking magic! Where do they think it comes from then? Since I have magic, and there is no scientific explanation for it, the most logical answer is that someone up in the sky gave it to me. They admit that several things have defied their ability to explain, yet refuse to believe that they might be miracles. In other words, the elves wouldn't think a miracle was one even if it danced the cancan in front of their arrogant faces! They're arrogant, hypocritical arseholes!"

"Hmm… good point," said Eragon

"I agree. I work my butt off day and night keeping this Empire running smoothly. And my all accounts, I was doing a pretty good job. You grew up in relative peace. You were free to live your lives the way that you wanted to. Then your terrorist friends out there teamed up with the hypocritical bastards known as the elves and started ruining my peaceful Empire."

"You're… you're right," stuttered Eragon, "The Varden are terrorists, and the elves are hypocrites. I'm so confused. What should I do?"

"Join me and your brother Murtagh, and we can rebuild the Riders and begin a new era of peace."

"Well, you've sold me," said Saphira, "I'm in."

"Me too!"

"Excellent!"

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With Eragon's help, the Empire won the day. The terrorist Varden were utterly destroyed. The survivors were sent home after being disarmed and swearing and oath never to fight against the Empire again. Negotiations and diplomacy brought Urgals, Dwarves, and Surda into the Empire's fold. Saphira mated with Thorn and produced many offspring, who in turn produced their own offspring (inbreeding isn't and issue with magical species). And so began a new age in which Man, Dwarf, Dragon, and Urgal came together for a great and glorious new era. (The elves sat in their forest complaining about how bad humans were and glorifying themselves.)

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