Disclaimer: I own nothing! All property of the wonderful Stephenie Meyer!
"Alice? What was it like the first time you saw Jasper?"
As usual, Alice looked at me with that expression that suggested she already knew I was going to asking her such a question. Whether or not it was because she had used her gift, of if it was because she simply knew me that well by now, I didn't know and I didn't really have the guts to ask.
We were sitting in her room; the doors wide open as the night breeze floated in casually to join the conversation. Lying on her bed, I hugged my blanket around me just a little bit tighter as I waited for her to answer. She was standing at the window, looking out at the dark trees, arms folded over her chest and her posture stiff. I didn't need to have powers of my own to know what she was doing; she was watching the boys hunting.
After letting the moment drag on long enough for me to blush, she smiled. "You mean physically? Or in my dreams?"
"Is there a difference?"
"Definitely. You can look at the mountains of Switzerland on television and be impressed, sure. But when you actually stand there and look up at them, when you stand at their base and stare up at their sheer mass in awe… well, there's most definitely a difference."
"I didn't get to have a preview of Edward before I saw him, so I don't know how to be unimpressed."
Alice laughed and turned back to the window. "It's a wonder you didn't slide out of your seat and drop to the floor right there in the cafeteria."
"You would have liked that, wouldn't you?"
"It would have made my morning."
I ran a hand through my hair. "You're not answering my question."
Alice sighed and pursed her lips. "It's hard to be on your own, Bella. Especially if you're one of us. You think the prospect of living one life alone is frightening? That's one hundred years at most. It's nothing. To be alone for eternity… there is no feeling like it. By the time I met Jasper I'd been turned for nearly two decades. Hardly anything compared to Carlisle, but when you're young twenty years seems like such a long time. Jasper was older than I was, he'd been turned for… gee, nearly eighty years I'd say... and he was just as lonely as I was, even though he'd been with others. Something inside him cried out to me, as if his pain were so strong it had manifested somehow, like a beacon shining into a night sky. The first night a dreamt about him I woke up crying. I could feel what he felt, the look on his face was excruciating. I'd never seen anything more tragically beautiful in all my life, and death. I'd never felt such a pull toward someone before. His feelings were so intense, and there was this want, this overwhelming powerful want for something he didn't have, that he didn't think he could ever have but that I knew I could give him – that I was meant to give him. I knew that second I was meant to find him; that I had had that vision for a reason and I wasn't going to waste another second lying there under a bridge … which is where I was sleeping at the time… when he needed me so."
"How did you find him?' I asked.
"My visions guided me to him, as they did to Carlisle years later. It only took a few days to find him. As fate would have it we were only two states apart."
"So what did you say to him? 'Hi, my name's Alice. I have visions and I had one about you and we're now destined to be together'?"
Alice laughed again. "Have you been watching soap operas again?"
I smiled shyly. "Charlie likes Days of our Lives."
"They don't know anything about companionship, changing husbands and wives every few weeks.' She smiled and turned back to the window. 'Seeing Jasper for the first time… was nothing at all like my visions. In my dreams he was always so sad, restless, his eyes constantly searching for something, but then we met and he was… calm. Still. Serene. I had expected so much different. I had expected him to me depressed and slouched and… shorter."
I snorted, but Alice seemed too lost in the memory to notice.
"I don't need to tell you what it was the first time I saw him in the flesh, because I know you felt exactly the same way when you saw Edward. Seeing Jasper gave me feelings I couldn't remember ever feeling before, mortal or turned. I knew the instant I saw him that our searching was over, and not because of my visions, but because I knew. I looked at him across the freeway where we met, cars rushing past in a whirl of noise and lights… very classy, I know, but whatever… and I knew I wasn't going to ever leave him.' She smiled and put a hand on the glass, peering out as if she could see Jasper right that second. 'He told me years later that the reason he was so calm when we met was because of me. Because he'd known who I was, why I was there, and he'd felt at peace and happy for the first time in years.
Alice turned and came to sit down on the end of her bed, fixing me with a look. 'You know, Edward was exactly the same way with you. You don't know how long he walked around, half alive, as if he were sleepwalking through his existence. It hurt me to watch him. I longed for him to find someone to wake him up, like I had done for Jasper and he had done for me… and then you arrived, and it was like someone had flicked a switch back on inside him. The change was startling."
Although it physically ached to hear about Edward ever being so miserable, I pushed it aside in my need to know more. "And then you and Jasper got married?"
"Oh, no, it was a while before that happened. First we sought out Carlisle. Jasper had a lot of issues with humans, and while I tried to help him as much as I could I just didn't seem to have the same effect that Carlisle did in the end. Jasper fed of humans for a long time; it's harder to break the longer you spend doing it."
"So you'll be locking me in a cellar once I'm turned?"
"Maybe not that dramatic, but we'll take you somewhere to make it easier on you."
"And safer for everyone else."
"That too. We don't want any big bad wolves tracking us down, now do we?"
I smiled at Alice's tone. "They wouldn't dare."
Alice sniffed, unconvinced.
Letting the moment pass, I hugged my knees to my chest and looked down at my feet. I could feel Alice's eyes still on me, and I knew she was waiting for me to get to the point – if she didn't know it already.
I sighed. "I'm worried."
"I can tell."
"What if…' I paused. It was easier to say what I wanted to say when I wasn't looking at her. 'What if we get married, and then Edward turns me, and I become like you and… he doesn't want to be with me anymore?"
Alice raised her eyebrows. "What makes you think something like that would ever happen?"
"I know how my blood supposedly smells really good to you all…"
I raised my eyebrows at her. She smiled apologetically.
"Anyway… what if when he drinks from me, and when my blood is all gone…"
"He doesn't want you anymore?' finished Alice. She sighed, looking like I was particularly slow. 'Look at me, Bella. Look me right in the eye. You trust me, don't you?"
"Good, so you'll believe me when I say that Edward loves you.' she said firmly, but kindly. 'He loves who you are, not how you smell. Your blood is just some sort of Christmas wrapping that comes with a wonderful gift; that you can do without as long as you still have the gift with you. You still don't believe me… which you should, you stupid girl… believe my visions. I've had a few about the two of you, you know."
I pursed my lips, my curiosity now at an all-time high. "You have?"
"Yes, I have. And no, before you even ask, I won't tell you anything. Some things you have to find out for yourself."
"Can you just tell me… are we happy?"
A wide grin slowly spread over her face. "You don't need me to tell you that."
I sighed. I knew she'd say that.
"Besides,' she sang, getting to her feet and dancing to her bedroom door, 'it's unfair of me to tell you and not Edward who has been asking me for months and months and months and months…"
I laughed as she trailed off, mouthing the word 'months' to herself as she opened the door and without missing a beat Jasper walked in, shrugging off his jacket.
"Darling, you're home!' beamed Alice, taking his coat. The scene reminded me of something out of a fifties sitcom.
"Surprise.' He said flatly, waving his hands in the air half-heartedly. 'Hey, Bella."
I waved as he gave me a small smile. He still felt a little awkward around me after the incident at my eighteenth birthday, no matter how many times I tried to tell him he shouldn't worry about it. Then seemingly out of no-where I was feeling suddenly inexplicably tired, and I realized it was coming from him; no doubt he was exhausted. He'd been gone for hours.
"You couldn't surprise me if you tried. Did you have a good hunt?"
"Great. Lots of prey, no hikers. Everything a guy could ask for."
"That's fabulous! Now get out."
Jasper looked at her, taken back. "What? What for?"
Alice smiled and beamed at me. "We're having girl time!"
"You always have girl time!"
"Because we're always girls."
"So why isn't Rose in here?"
"She will be once she's finished fixing the engine in her car which will be in exactly…' she paused to look at her watch,'… twelve minutes. But then she has to have a shower because she will have grease all over her so that's another twenty minutes…"
"Yeah yeah,' grinned Jasper, giving Alice a chaste kiss on the mouth, 'stop showing off."
I couldn't help but smile as they embraced. I didn't really have many opportunities to see Jasper with Alice, just the two of them. He was different around her, more open. In groups he didn't say much, he was kind of the quiet one who stood to the outside and let Alice do the talking. Here, in their room, just the two of them, his walls came down and I could see just how much he loved her, how much he depended on her. He seemed to exhale into her as she stood on tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him close. They muttered to each other in that muffled chatter my ears were still not special enough to pick up, and I suddenly felt like I was intruding on a very private moment. I looked away and out the window, suddenly wishing Edward would hurry back from hunting as well.
"Jazz, don't, Bella's here!"
"It's fine.' I laughed. When I looked around, Alice was back over by the window; Jasper was gathering up several of his massive books he always liked to read. He gave me another small smile, and I felt soaked in warm affection. I often wondered if he realized I sometimes could feel what he was feeling.
"Edward said to say he won't be long.' He said.
I nodded, understanding. He'd been very hungry before he'd left – leaving it too long between hunts again. I had enjoyed scolding him. "Tell him I'll wait up for him."
Jasper's eyes narrowed slightly and his eyes went a little out of focus, just for a moment. He looked at Alice who smiled and nodded.
"He said that's silly… but okay. He's glad, but he probably wouldn't want me to tell you that."
"Stuff him.' I smiled.
Jasper began to back out of the room. "I'll be in the living room. Can you tell Emmet when he gets back?"
Alice nodded, and with a final smile at her Jasper left the room.
I sighed. Would Edward and I be like that in fifty years? Still madly in love? Still completely devoted to each other? The concept of being together for eternity didn't seem as hard to grasp as it probably should have been. Some part of me knew we would; Edward had told me enough times. And I knew myself well enough to know that I would always want him, forever and always. That time apart last year had been enough of an indication of what life would be like without him – what I would be like without him. Not that I didn't already know.
"You will, you know."
I looked up. Alice was looking at me. "Will what?"
"Be happy.' She smiled. 'You and Edward, the Macaroni to each others Cheese. You can't have one without the other, and you wouldn't want to. Or, you know, so I've read. I've never actually eaten the stuff."
I was on my feet and hugging her in no time, her cold hard body held close to mine. "Thank you so much."
"Hey, we're practically sisters now. It's the done thing. Just let me plan your Bachelorette party and we'll be square."
"Don't push it."
A/N – Thought I'd try my hand at a Twilight fic! Just a drabble idea that came to be one night. My first ever attempt, so be gentle. Let me know what y'all thought. Constructive criticism is my brand of herrion!