Rating: umm, PG...I guess
Spoilers: pretty much everything
Feedback: oh hell yea!
Disclaimer: I do not own Dean or Sam :damnit: or anything else from the Supernatural universe.
Author's Note: I have NO IDEA where this came from...seriously, I was feeding llamas and then all of a sudden THIS WAS IN MY HEAD
There are things that burn themselves into your memory.
Random scenes of your life that no matter what happens down the road you'll always be able to call up on demand and replay in your head.
Your mother's smile.
The day your little baby brother came home.
The first time your Dad let you drive the car. Windows down and feet stretched out to the floor, hands at ten and two.
The first time you kissed a girl. All tremors and nervousness and you damn near missed.
The first time you slept with a girl. And you were scared shitless all over again.
Then there are things that blaze so hot and bright that they burn themselves much deeper than just memories.
They burn straight into your soul, into who and what you are. Smoldering inside you long after the smoke has cleared. Until one day they reignite and the flash fire they cause lights you up like a match.
The weight of your brother in your hands as your Dad screams at you to get out of the house.
Watching what was his room go up in flames and knowing your Mommy's not gonna be there in the morning.
The recoil of a gun the first time you shoot one. The pain lancing up your arm and searing your nerves.
The white hot slice of a blade during your first bar fight.
The burn of stomach bile as you retch yourself dry the morning after your brother walked away.
The fear that ignited and consumed you whole when your father disappears.
The consuming feeling of failure when he shows up again just to trade his life for yours.
The coldness that seeped into your bones that no liquid fire could warm when you watched over your brother's dead body.
Watching the hot tears that streak down his face after you bring him back.
Only this time you're the one to walk away.
You're just trading one burn for another.