Yako's Jokes

Laughing at the comedian on the television, Yako had to hold her sides to stop herself from shaking uncontrollably. A slow day of the office forced Neuro to watch from his office chair as the man on the screen fell off the stage. Yako continued to laugh, tears coming from her eyes. Once the show ended, she grabbed the remote and clicked the power button. "He's so funny…" she happily sighed, wiping her eyes. Neuro simply turned towards the computer and turned it on.

"What's wrong Neuro? Didn't find him funny?" she asked, noticing only a smile on his face.

"He was amusing, just not funny," Neuro confidently said, insulting the comedian from his humble office. Yako then realized something. The only time Neuro ever laughs is if he's pumped with demon power. Suddenly the urge to see him laugh wrapped around her heart. "Okay, I'll see what makes him laugh," she told herself.

"Oh yeah, Neuro," she said. "I think I can solve the next case by myself. Maybe I can give it a try." She then paused, waiting for the mocking laughter. Nothing.

"Arthropods are incapable of solving cases," he remarked, throwing a book at her. Luckily she dodged it this time, only to get smacked with another one. She would have to wait for her next opportunity.

"Itadakimasu!" she happily cheered as she opened her bento box on the office table. Neuro continued researching whatever intrigued him on the computer as Yako began to dig into her rice. An idea struck her. She pushed her food aside and laid back. "I'm so full!" she loudly said. Nothing. "Well…that one was a bit unbelievable."

"Neuro," she called out. "Godai told me that he plans to leave and never return. He says he doesn't care what you do to him."

Neuro chuckled and smirked. "It would seem my slave has become more daring without his regularly timed punishments. I will prepare something horrible for him later."

"Crap…" Yako thought to herself. "Now Godai's going to suffer just because I wanted to make Neuro laugh…sorry."

"You know Neuro, maybe I'll quit this whole detective business and live with my sibling arthropods in the museum, how does that sound?" she asked, looking back at him.

"Sounds as if you've finally admitted your own lack of value and stupidity," he causally said, opening a book.

"That's it," Yako told herself. "I need something completely ridiculous, something absolutely stupid. I'm running out of ideas…"

"Neuro! I'm pregnant with your baby!" she yelled out. He placed his book down and rose from his seat. "Wait a minute…" Yako muttered, wondering what he was planning. Standing before her, he grabbed her hands softly and stared into her eyes.

"I suppose that drunken night has now forced us to wed it would seem," he said. "So be it. Even us demons take care of our spawn."

"Wait!! What?!" Yako shouted. "What drunken night?!"

"Naturally you wouldn't remember," Neuro said. "When I tried that human drink called liquor and forced you to drink it as well. I still remember some of that night. I had sneaked into your home late at night."

"Ah! That shower felt great!" Yako said as she walked into her room, pajamas and all. She plopped onto her bed, sighing peacefully. Suddenly she heard a tap at the window. Rising from her bed to check it out, she couldn't believe it.

"Neuro!!" she screamed, terrified by the demonic grin he had.

"Slave," he said. "What is this?" he asked as he crawled into her room.

"Don't come into my room to ask me questions!" she fussed.

"Answer the question or I'll stuff you into this bottle!" Neuro said, showing her the object that perplexed him.

"That's alcohol," Yako said. An idea sparked. "You should try some, you demons might like it. In the human world we play a game where we try to drink as much of it as we can as fast as we can."

"Is that so?" Neuro grinned. He grabbed her collar and dragged her close to him, pouring the alcohol down her mouth. "Then you try some first!!"

"That's how it went," Neuro sweetly smiled. "I drank some afterwards and I suppose one thing led to another."

"Ne-neuro….you're kidding right?!" Yako asked, almost begging for him to say he was. Neuro bent over and wrapped his arms around Yako, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"If I were kidding, would I do this?" he sweetly said, licking her ear. She flinched as she felt the cold, wet tongue slide against her ear.

"No…." she muttered in horror. "This…is…impossible…"

She could feel her consciousness slip away. Her body laid limp in Neuro's arms. Finally he began to laugh. "Haha!" he started. "Haha!" he continued. "Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!!"

"Hey, what the hell is going on here?!" Godai fussed as he walked into the office.

"When Yako wakes up you are to act as if she is pregnant with my seed," Neuro grinned, tossing her to the couch.

"What the fuck?"

"Do it or I'll rip your eyes out so you can watch me rip your brains out," Neuro ordered.

"What the hell do you guys do when I'm gone?!" Godai fussed, plopping into his chair.