Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I claim to own any characters or concepts related to Iron Man or the associated Marvel Universe. This is a nonprofit work of fanfiction. Obviously.
The civil form I used for the summons at the very beginning can be found at www. cacd. uscourts. gov/ CACD/ Forms. nsf/ Forms?Open View& Start1& Count 500& Expand 4#4 (take out the spaces); as of this writing, the form number is CV-001A. No adjustments were made. I do not own the form used and I am using it without permission. All the rest of the legal stuff I made up - that includes the entirety of the complaint - so any errors are my own.
UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT
CENTRAL DISTRICT OF CALIFORNIA
The city of Los Angeles, California,
Anthony E. Stark,
CEO Stark Industries,
TO: DEFENDANT(s): Anthony E. Stark
A lawsuit has been filed against you.
Within 30 days after service of this summons on you (not counting the day you received it), you must serve on the plaintiff an answer to the attached complaint or a motion under Rule 12 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. The answer or motion must be served on the plaintiff's attorney, Harold Dent, whose address is XXXX. If you fail to do so, judgment by default will be entered against you for the relief demanded in the complaint. You also must file your answer or motion with the court.
By: Agatha Gail, Deputy Clerk.
Date: May 10, 20XX
COMPLAINT LODGED BY THE CITY OF LOS ANGELES
Plaintiff, the city of Los Angeles, California, acting on behalf of the citizens and property owners of Los Angeles, California, seeks compensation for damages sustained through the actions of Anthony E. Stark, "Iron Man," hereafter referred to as the defendant. In support thereof, the plaintiff alleges the following:
1. Defendant, acting in the capacity of "Iron Man," an armoured "super hero" currently stationed within the boundaries of Los Angeles County and affiliated with the defendant's corporation, Stark Industries, has in this role incurred substantial damages on the businesses and landmarks of the city of Los Angeles. The defendant should therefore be held accountable for any financial and property losses sustained by the citizens of Los Angeles as well as the city itself for occasions on which accountability can be successfully and accurately determined.
2. Current estimates hold total losses amount to in excess of ten billion dollars. Plaintiff seeks full reparation for losses attributed to the defendant.
3. Plaintiff alleges the defendant is accountable for the following losses:
FINANCIAL AND PROPERTY LOSS
1. On the date of February 12, 20XX, the defendant engaged another costumed super hero (hereafter referred to as "Thor") in combat on the outskirts Los Angeles. Video recordings reveal the defendant was directly responsible for the destruction of a gas station, a neighboring supermarket, a sporting goods store, and two golf carts. Several powerful electrical discharges were initially believed to be a new feature of the defendant's protective armor; recent events involving the super hero team "The Avengers" indicate they were in fact the work of "Thor." At least 1,050,000 dollars in damages can be attributed to the defendant.
2. On the date of February 19, 20XX, the defendant totaled three cars during what he later claimed was a routine test flight. Damages stand at 17,000 dollars.
3. On the date of March 22, 20XX, the defendant engaged a number of armed motorcyclists in combat. The defendant utilized a parking meter as a makeshift bludgeon, striking one of the motorcycles and sending both the driver and the damaged vehicle through the front window of The Little Town Café. Damages directly attributable to the defendant amount to 4,500 dollars, including an estimated loss of 135 dollars in loose change.
4. On the date of April 1, 20XX, the defendant engaged a Latverian ambassador (hereafter referred to as "Dr Doom") in combat. During the three hour exchange two historical landmarks were defaced and several privately owned and operated businesses were destroyed. A small park was likewise decimated. Damages attributable to the defendant stand at an estimated 2,000,000 dollars.
5. On the date of June 13, 20XX, the defendant propelled a large reptile of extraterrestrial origin (hereafter referred to as "Fin Fang Foom") into the Saints Hotel, causing a total of 50,000 dollars in damages upon impact. An additional 35,000 dollars of damages were incurred when, jarred both by his/her/its landing and the original blow delivered by the defendant, "Fin Fang Foom" hiccuped, spraying the exposed ballroom with a compustible mist and igniting both the wallpaper and the wiring beneath.
6. On the date of July 9, 20XX, the defendant...
"Stop. Stop, enough." Tony at last deigns to look up from his laptop. The shadows under his eyes are darker than they were yesterday, the redness of his eyes harder to ignore. Beyond the windows that line the living room, the sun sets, painting the sky in darker shades of purple. He rolls his tongue so the pen in his mouth slides to the corner, freeing his lips, and he says: "Is this a joke? This is ridiculous. How much more is there?"
Pepper flips through the complaint - a thick stack of paper loosely bound with three large brass staples. "Um, thirty pages," she says. "Sorry: thirty-one."
Tony straightens out of his slouch, rising into a slightly more dignified sitting position. He rubs his side absently and stretches his other hand out to her. "Let me see that," he says, twitching his fingers in an impatient gimme.
"I called your lawyer," she says, relinquishing the complaint into his hands. Tony immediately flips to the middle. "He'll be on the next flight out of Jamaica in..." She checks her watch. "One hour. I've scheduled a meeting with him for tomorrow morning at nine, and a press conference at noon."
He drops the stack on the coffee table, shaking the glass. "I'm not going," he says.
"We can reschedule the press conference if--"
"This is ridiculous," says Tony. "They're suing me for doing my job?"
"Technically," Pepper says, "it's not your job."
He cuts his hand through the air in a single sharp, dismissive gesture. "Fine, my duty. I'm saving lives out there and they're counting pennies."
"A bit more than that," she says. After a moment she adds: "Technically."
Tony narrows his eyes at her. The skin under his eyes wrinkles slightly. "Whose side are you on again?"
Pepper smiles at him, like she has a secret, like she wants him to guess. "Agent Coulson's," she says. "He's going to have a fit." She reaches out to pluck the pen from the corner of his mouth. "Nine o'clock," she says, waggling the pen at him. "Tomorrow morning. Your office."
He snags the pen as it taps his nose. "You're a tease, Miss Potts," he says. Pepper laughs as she retreats to the kitchen. Tony scrubs at his face with his hands. He stares at the bound stack of paper, listening to Pepper putter around the kitchen, pulling out glasses, putting them away, and he thinks for a long moment before he says anything.
"I need a drink," he says.
From the depths of the computer system wired throughout his house, Jarvis speaks: "I believe your personal physician has recommended you refrain from drinking more than a single glass a day and as you consumed two at breakfast..."
"Jarvis," Tony says, "you're my housekeeper. Not my mother."
"My apologies, sir," says Jarvis. "Whatever was I thinking, worrying about your health in such trying times as these."
Pepper reemerges from the kitchen, a notebook tucked under one arm and a glass of something amber in the other hand. Her heels click on the polished floor as she crosses the room.
"Scotch," Tony says, with great pleasure.
"Apple juice," Pepper says, with equal satisfaction. She sets it on the coffee table. "Pepper's orders."
"Oh, well, I wouldn't want to disregard such sound medical advice." Tony stares down into his glass and grimaces. He's tired and his head hurts, and the glass is sticky under his thumb where some of the juice spilled over the edge.
"I'm still not going," he says.
"Of course not, Mr Stark," says Pepper.
Tony really wants a drink.
Author's Notes: If I never have to format anything for FFN ever again, I will die a very happy woman. Disclaimer regarding the legal stuff has been moved to the top.
This fic was originally posted on livejournal on May 7, 2008.