Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans
It was so ridiculous. How could they have made such a huge mistake? Scratch that. How could she have made such a huge mistake?
It wasn't even one of their more challenging villains. One blast had never caused so much damage. She could not tell how deep they were buried, only that it would take time for the other Titans to get them out. Time that they might not have. Beast Boy hard taken a hard blow to the head.
Raven did her best to stop the bleeding by using her cloak as a compress. She was having a hard time concentrating after the concussion of the blast. She barely had enough focus to see in the darkness that surrounded them let alone to use any of her magic. If either of them were to lose consciousness at this point, there was no guarantee that they would wake up.
"It's going to be okay, Beast Boy," she told him. "Just hold on. The others will find us."
"I know," he said weakly as he did his best to smile up at her. "I just don't think you do. You're shaking, Rae."
"It's just my nerves trying to calm down after the blast," she replied. "Don't try to talk."
"It's better than quiet," he said. "Besides, it might help keep me awake."
"Reasonable thought," Raven admitted.
"Now that's funny," he whispered. "You calling me reasonable."
"And surprise surprise," she deadpanned, "I'm still not laughing."
"I'll break you yet," he boasted. "There's no person alive the B-Man can't make laugh. Or at least smile anyway."
Beast Boy's face was losing more color. Raven laid his head down on her lap and pressed her cloak harder to his wound. He let out a soft moan of pain.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"It's fine," he replied. They sat in the dark in silence for some time before he spoke again. "Do you think I messed up?"
"I think we both messed up."
"No," Beast Boy chuckled. "I mean with Terra."
Much as she did not like to think about the former Titan, Raven had to admit to herself that she thought about that a lot. In all of the time that she had meditated on it she had come to a conclusion on her thoughts and opinion.
"No," she answered. "I don't think you did. I think that it was amazing that even after everything that you were able to forgive her in the end. That you were able to let her go when she came back. When she left us for Slade, I think you reacted the same way any normal person would have in that situation."
"Normal person," Beast Boy repeated. "That's me."
"You're only human, Beast Boy."
"Stop spinning around for a second, Rae," he said. "You're making me dizzy."
"Just try to put up with it for a little bit longer. The others should be here soon."
"I should have helped her sooner," Beast Boy continued. "Maybe if I hadn't turned my back on her when Slade had her we never would have gone through all that."
"Stop punishing yourself."
"I pushed away the only girl who ever really cared about me. Pushed so hard she actually forgot me and you and everyone else. Or was that just because she got stoned?" He let out a chuckle.
Beast Boy was becoming more delirious with each passing second. He never would have made a joke like that about Terra. Not if he were thinking straight.
"You're hair's real pretty, you know that, Rae?"
Definitely becoming delirious. Where were the others? What was taking them so long?
"Any minute now."
"Rae," Beast Boy said. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got you into this."
"You didn't get me into anything."
The stupid changeling just would not stop. His heart went out to everyone he had ever met. He cared so much and so deeply for so many people that Raven could barely believe his heart hadn't shattered beyond repair by now. She wished she could help him. She wanted so badly to take away his guilt and pain. Even if just for a moment.
Raven's lips pressed gently against Beast Boy's before she could even recognize what she was doing. When she lifted her head away from his, she could see the confusion in his eyes. Either that or she was projecting her own confusion onto him. She felt his hand rest itself on hers as he gave her another weak smile. His eyes slowly began to close and she remembered trying to wake him gently just before she passed out too.
Raven's head was throbbing like someone had been playing a drum solo in her inner ear canal. As she stirred under the covers she felt something limiting her range of movement. Wait a second. Covers? Her eyes shot open and she sat bolt upright. Not the smartest move when you may have a serious head injury. After her stomach calmed back down and her eyes readjusted she found herself lying in the Tower infirmary. A quick glance to her side revealed that Beast Boy was there too.
"You scared us all to death," Robin said from the doorway. "How are you feeling."
"Like Starfire cooked the last three meals I ate," Raven replied. "How did you get us out?"
"The Harold," Robin answered. "We were worried that digging might cause everything to cave in around you. When you didn't dig yourselves out I wasn't sure if you'd be capable of protecting yourselves from a cave in. I'm sorry it took so long to think of him."
"We're out, that's the important thing," Raven said, trying not to look over at Beast Boy.
"Out and going to make full recoveries," Robin told her. "But since he doesn't have self healing powers like you, Beast Boy might be down a little longer."
After looking over Raven and Beast Boy's vital signs, Robin excused himself from the infirmary leaving the two of them alone together. Raven tried not to think about it, but her mind kept racing back to what had happened.
Beast Boy's voice startled her. She turned to see him looking over at her looking just as exhausted as he did when they had been buried.
"I'll be fine," she said. "You will too."
At first she just sat there, but she could not take that for long. She slowly pulled herself out of bed and began to walk around the cold, sterile room in her bare feet and gown. Somehow, even though she was trying to distance herself from him, Raven found herself sitting down next to Beast Boy's bed.
"How's your head?" she asked.
"I think I have stitches," he smiled. "Go figure. I finally get an injury that can leave a cool looking scar and it's gonna be somewhere that my hair covers it up."
Raven only nodded. She was not sure what to say to him. She was not sure if he even remembered what had happened. If he did, there was a good chance that he'd only think that it was a dream or a hallucination from the blow to the head he took.
"Can I ask you a question?" he interrupted her thoughts.
"I kinda want to know the answer and I kinda don't, so I'm not really sure I wanna ask."
"Then don't ask."
"But I really wanna know."
"But I'm pretty sure that you're gonna look at me like I'm stupid."
"And that would be a new experience how?" Raven asked, head slightly aching from the roundabout conversation.
"That's a very good point," Beast Boy said raising his finger.
"So ask already."
"I think something happened down there," he said. "I'm not sure if it really did or not because it seems like it would be impossible, but it really felt like it happened. If it didn't happen then you're gonna think I'm crazy, but if it did happen then you already know what I'm talking about. Raven, do you know what I'm talking about?"
Raven did not answer. She just tried not to look into his eyes. The eyes that not so long ago had been so devoid of that light that made him Beast Boy. The eyes that what felt like only minutes ago looked like they were closing for the last time. She could not stop looking at those eyes and that horrible memory of them closing just kept playing in her head over and over. She blinked a few times and felt the warmth of a tear trickle down her cheek.
"Raven, did it happen?"
She did not say anything. She only nodded very slightly. Partly because it was all she could manage, partly because it hurt too much to try anything more.
"Did it only happen because you thought we were going to die?"
Raven took a deep breath. That was another thing that she had been thinking about rather quickly in the last few minutes. That was not quite the reason she had done it though.
"No," she said. "It only happened because I thought that you were going to die."
"Oh," Beast Boy said. "Okay. That's all I wanted to ask."
Raven placed her hand gently on Beast Boy's cheek and leaned over him. With as much tenderness as she could so as not to cause either of them anymore pain than they were already in, she kissed him. For some reason ridiculous reason everything going on inside Raven's mind just stopped then. It was peaceful. She pulled away from him, but never took her eyes off of his.
"And that was because I wanted to, Beast Boy. Just because I wanted to."