title: of crazy plans and jelly fits
challenge: We've seen THAT before (the overused plot lines challenge)
A and B are friends. A starts dating C. B is disturbed/enraged/distressed by the hookup. B eventually realizes that he/she is in love with A.
Plus points: if C is a jerk, which is something B tries to point out to A. A eventually realizes she/he loved B all along.
A is popular/attractive, B is not.
series: Naruto (AU)
characters: Namikaze Minato, Uzumaki Kushina, Uchiha Mikoto and Fugaku
rating: PG 13, T

16:36 hours, Friday

Uzumaki did a series of things that a normally surprised female would do: Opened her mouth wide and closed them a few times then stared at her best friend of two years.

After a few seconds of comprehending what that small announcement was about, she screamed a single word.


Her raucous screech rebounded over the grimy tile walls of the restroom, along with the slap of two wet palms on the sink borders. She whipped her cropped auburn strands, accentuating the soft curve of her tightening jaw. Splashes of tap water drenched the edges of her long yellow sleeves and she ignored the sudden cold that permeated her skin.

Mikoto, who was already used to the exaggerated reactions from the red-haired woman, merely replied calmly as she continued on brushing her hair to the rear of her head.


"Of all the things you would do, woman!" A pair of darkest jade irises narrowed in annoyance, leaning a bit closer to her indifferent friend, who was capping the slender tube of lipstick to a close and retuning it back to her leather purse. "Him?"

"Shut up, you loud-mouthed idiot." At this, Mikoto rolled her onyx orbs as her hands finally tucked in the last remnants of her ebony strands on the borders of her makeshift ponytail. Glaring at her companion through the heavily graffiti-marked mirror, she continued to speak as if Kushina was not currently murmuring vulgarities under her breath, tearing the paper towels that she dried herself with. "He's blonde. He's charismatic. He got those sky-blue eyes. And he can actually smile, you know, gently, unlike my fiancé." The well-known, demure primadonna of this stupid group enterprise merely gave an unlady-like snort, which was perfectly copied from the resident tomboy. "If I had a chance from the very start, I would've hit on Minato-kun—"

"Minato-kun, god, do you even hear yourself?" Kushina rolled her eyes and gritted her teeth. "I thought you were smarter than me, with wide-forehead and all!"

"Is there anything wrong with me having a little bit of a crush?"

"A crush!" The word was nearly spat as she placed her hands over her hips and sneered in reply. "Have you lost your mind, Mikoto? What were you thinking?! If Uchiha hears this, he'll surely—"

"—probably be sulky about it. Brood like what Uchihas do." Here, as Mikoto interrupted her friend's tirade as both of them usually do, she laughed out loud. Reaching over the other faucet sink, she turned the copper knob clockwise. "What's the big deal, anyway? You are over-reacting."

"I am not over-reacting. I am just telling you that you are frigging crazy." At this, the dark-haired female gave an exasperated sigh as Kushina now started to prattle again and snatched the left hand bearing a magnificent diamond-studded platinum band on the ring finger, almost shoving the appendage to Mikoto's face. "You are having a date, and you're engaged. And most of all, he's our boss. It's unethical!"

"Unethical?" Retrieving her hand back from the flustered woman, Mikoto grimaced at how she had underestimated Kushina's reaction. "Who are you to talk about ethics when you basically break every single policy—"

"He's Jiraiya-sensei's protégé!" The stress on that particular name, who was a world-renowned erotica writer and journalist of legendary voyeuristic escapades around the world, made it apparent that fact alone was enough explanation for her aggravation. "What if that moron tries to get into your pants?!"

"Well, I'm going to wear a skirt. So it'll be easier."

"…you just didn't say that."

"If you are going to be so uptight about this, Kushi-chan" There was a frown marring her features as Mikoto pushed the swinging door open, ignoring the shooting icicles from those frosty, green glower. "Then why don't you go out for a date with Fugaku? I'm sure you'll find monosyllabic conversations very, very pleasant."

"I swear," The shrill, foreboding voice echoed through the corridors as Kushina stomped to the other direction. "I'm going to pray to the heavens that your spawns takes after Uchiha, cursing them to eternal silence forever. At least he's got brains."

"I love you too, honey." The following giggling response came from the opposite side of the hallway.


16:48 hours, twelve minutes after the first conversation

You'll always be a part of me; I'm a part of you indefinite—

The song got cut off by pressing a callused thumb over the green call button. A taciturn, dark-haired man answered his mobile phone with a grunt, disrupting the flow of his fingers over the keyboard. His glass frames reflected the glare of the luminescent monitor, which was the only source of light within the gloomy room, aside from the leaking late afternoon sunlight from the blinds, slightly illuminating the carved name of the Police Superintendent on the anterior view of the table.


His other free hand continued its progress of typing efficiently.

"I'm still at work."

Then he impassively took the receiver away from his ear when an obnoxious, reprimanding holler was heard through the whole department.

"—frigging HELL that you're still working your numb ass on your frigging office! News flash, you BASTARD, Miko-chan is going to commit ADULTERY and how come you're so CALM and ALOOF and OH SO COOL about that while she'll probably get herself impregnated by that surely freaking PERVERT—"

"I'll meet you at six. In front of that ramen stand, near the waterfront, in front of Kyushu University"

"UCHIHA, are you even listening to me, you big ice block of—what?."

"It's in between a Chinese restaurant and a videogame shop." The frustrated young man carefully instructed, as if talking to a retarded being. Then he glared fiercely at the sneaky glances of the rumormongers who drifted pass his office, their heads ducking out of his sight perimeters once they have felt the alarming aura of his stare. "I'm going with you."

"So we're going to follow them after all? I KNEW IT! You were JEALOUS! You really love her, DON'T YOU FUGAKU-KUU—"

He slid the phone shut with a snap, then tossed it to the waste bin beside him.


Wearing some inconspicuous black attire, composed of a dark slim top and cargo pants with a pair of shades, Uzumaki Kushina was pretty sure that tailing a certain couple on a date would be quite easy, especially if she's accompanied by the stealthy, stalking abilities that all Uchihas possessed.

That is, if that dim-witted, shameless man would ever show up.

As she swerved the straps of her bulky messenger bag in between her shoulders, she infuriatingly glanced at her wristwatch, which told her that it's already seven o' clock.

And that meant her (air-headed, blasted!) friend was going to be picked up at work. Damn, where was that blasted Uchiha? She had tried calling him thirty minutes ago, yet there was no response from him, as

The truth was, she really didn't dislike that courteous blonde-haired chief of theirs. She was just annoyed because he was too intelligent,

("Uzumaki, don't you think it's a bit dangerous to drink coffee in one sitting? Then inhaling Ramen afterwards?")

too purpose-driven,

("I'm currently having a side job, teaching some kids, so take my shift for the meanwhile, Uzumaki.")

too strict for her taste.

("Your hair is too short, Uzumaki. You're a female representative for this project. Shouldn't you add a little length?")

Namikaze Minato was a force to reckon with, and he was too goal-oriented, putting the interest of their work first even before eating any donuts for breaks. And women were attracted to him like crazy (Darn you, Mikoto.). And he acts so smug and he's just so creepily perfect for a blue-eyed, flaxen-haired, (nearly) six footer lad.

However, all that respect and adoration just hurled down and sunk into the stinky mud when he asked Mikoto out.

There was a possibility that he might be a pervert, or a womanizer, or something that degrades female dignity. Some of the perversity from that white-haired lecher could have rubbed off him. And that makes her female buddy in great danger of being humiliated, when she's already happily affianced to a man who truly adored her (secretly, of course.)

And I'm planning to push that marble-faced idiot to do something. Since it's about time that they move up to the second base, that prude—

Grumbling to herself that this situation would have been avoided if the Superintendent of the Police Force would just gather those remaining guts of his and just swept off Mikoto away and be married, Kushina resorted to actually forgetting the whole spying plan if that prude would actually stand her up.

Wryly twitching the corners of her lips in irritation as she schemed, she suddenly froze on her spot when she saw a mop of intense butterscotch spiky hair amidst the sea of bustling people. With a gasp, the short-haired woman, whose bright crimson strands were hidden beneath the encompassing downward slope of the coal-colored bucket hat, pulled the brim of the cotton apparel and tried to avoid being seen by getting inside the flaps of the cream-white stand.

"Crap, he's taking her to a Chinese restaurant? I thought he had more taste." Subsequently, she then turned at the surprised middle-aged cook, who turned to her while stirring some tangy broth. Hastily ordering while settling herself comfortable on the plastic stool, she rummaged through her pockets some spare yens. "One bowl of miso ramen. Quickly, ah—"Green irises spotted the name on his tag in a quick peek. "Teuchi-san."

"Right on, Miss!"

And then she heard heavy footsteps, that cheery timbre of a light tenor, and a body settling a seat beside her.

"I'll have an extra bowl too, Ossan!"

"Sure, Minato-kun."

And at that point, she was immobilized from taking the three hundred yen, her limbs stiffened and her jerk reaction was to turn towards the newcomer.

"Oh, didn't see you there, Uzumaki!"

With a nervous grin pasted on her façade, she apprehensively greeted Namikaze Minato, who perched his elbows on the red, glazed counter and was balancing his chin in the middle of his tangled fingers. Glass cerulean eyes were expectant as she managed a weak "Sir?"

Okay, what's happening here and where's Mikoto-cha—

"I'll pay for her share, Ossan! And make it the large one for the both of us!"

Then in that rare sudden flash of intuition (that she didn't usually have), Uzumaki Kushina, the not-so-brightest person in their team, finally understood.

And in a startled blink of an eye, Kushina stood up and roared.


"Taking opportunities." He shrugged his shoulders and merely gave that toothy roguish grin.

Kushina was about to say that he was extremely egoistic if he thought that she, the Uzumaki!, would give in to this humiliating prospect of dating him when the kind cook suddenly settled a rather tantalizing mix of sweet corn, butter, bean sprouts, finely pieces of soft pork and creamy swirls of garlic with bits and morsels of assorted seafood like scallops, squid, and crab.

"Sit down." As the dark porcelain bowl was placed in front of them, her companion calmly picked two pair of chopstick and gently flicked the other one to her. "You hate your ramen cold."

And because it was free, and maybe she was more hypnotized with the scent of seafood broth and starchy noodles, she grouchily sat back and snapped the two wooden utensils apart.

At least, she's wearing pants.

And she totally could deck him to the asphalt-embedded ground if he instigated some inappropriate move.

With a tentative smile, Uzumaki Kushina finally surrenders to the tenuous silence and ate the ramen.


20:23 hours

Ooh baby, you can't escape me, oooh darling, cause you'll always be my ba—

"You threw your phone in the trash, again, didn't you?"

As the mid-line of the chorus was finally stopped, Uchiha Fugaku rumbled a "Hn" when his six-month old fiancée waltzed in breezily inside the office with a beaming smile on her face. Standing in front of his paper-swamped table, Mikoto shook in light laughter.


"Well, we've done him a favor." Blowing a gust of air and with an irresistible pout, the twenty-eight year old professional tapped her rose-painted, manicured nails on the wooden desk, a thoughtful smile on her face. "Having someone as dense as Kushina is quite problematic, I hope he didn't screw his chances."

"Resorting to such methods is unlikely." Veering the swirling Aeon chair to the side, he stood up from his seat and took the car keys, jingling on his palm. "It's juvenile. Childish."

"You're just grumpy that he managed to get promoted faster." The grinning, mischievous woman merely grabbed the coat and settled them on the broad shoulders of her partner.

"At least," A teasing smirk made way on his lips, a hint of that cocksure arrogance in that silent proclamation. "I'm getting married first."

written may 10/08, 0435-1547. first draft

I've read in assorted Naruto-related information that Naruto takes more after his mom, meaning that she'd be probably obnoxious, loves to eat ramen and slightly dense. And she was known to be tomboyish in the start. While Minato (Yondaime) was more of a intelligent, hard-working man but was very charming and approachable.

Ichiraku Ramen is really a true place, found in front of the Kyushu Sangu Gaidan, in between a Yakiniku restaurant and a video game store. And whenever you order ramen from their stall, they give free Naruto handkerchiefs. (I wanna eat there.)

I don't know how if this ended up following the prompt. TT Or this was enough. And I was planning to continue it, but I'm exhausted. (Done in the last minute, as usual.)

This is for who made me interested to the OT4: allurement and ohwhatsherface. I don't know if I did them justice, or if I'll continue this. XD

Thanks to Kawaii Ice Cream and BlueGreenApples. They saved me. And to Lala and Midge: You made me crazy.