Never again

Chapter 1

Bella Pov

It had been 3 months yet I was still in pain. It was slightly helped by the fact that I had Jacob, he was always here to protect me. He was a young werewolf, but my best friend in the world. Even though I never showed him the affection he wanted, he was still trying to make me see that we should be a couple. But I just wasn't ready to move on yet, why couldn't he see that? But to be honest he isn't as bad as Charlie, he was determined to pair me and Jacob up, I just don't want to.

When I wasn't with Jake I always felt so awful. I felt so bad it hurt. The only way to dull this dagger in my chest, was to walk through the forest; it just helped me to feel numb. So yet again, I wandered through the forest, going deeper and deeper, completely lost. I just let my feet drag on. The numbness was wonderful, I didn't feel the thorns pierce my skin or the rough bushes burn my legs whenever I fell. I just walked until I could walk no more.

The next thing I knew, I found myself in a fatal position, curled up into a cold ball in the light of the full moon, when I heard his voice. My angel's voice speaking in a clearly regretful tone. All I could do was sit there and listen to it.

"Bella! Oh Bella I'm so sorry! I never meant those words. I could never stand a minute being away from you. Forgive me, Bella. Forgive me please!"

He said this over and over again until the numbness subsided, I sat straight up while looking in the direction of his voice. I was consistently hoping it was him, just to see his smile was worth the wait. I loved him and would never stop loving him, it was that memory of his words that made me hurt the most; he didn't want me. After all the times he said he loved me. How could he of lied to me like that, all the time?

When I stopped my long trail of thoughts, I tried looking for my angel. That's when my eyes landed on a figure, hidden in the shadows of the nearby trees. There was something familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. It has to be him. Who else could it be. But I have to admit the figure looked strange, the way his body was positioned, almost catlike.

"Edward?" I chocked staring towards the figure. I wanted it to be him, but if it was I wouldn't know what I would do. The curiosity overwhelmed my body and I stood up to started to walk towards the figure.

That said figure stepped forward, illuminated by the full moon. My muscles froze, and my heart stopped in terror. The figure's head was thrown back, and a loud cackle was heard. I could not believe it, he promised to protect me forever, this was not protecting me. This was completely the opposite.

"Miss me?" the figure sneered.

My eyes were locked in full fright mode. I realized that death was upon me faster than I had thought it would be. I also realized that this was going to be very painful death indeed. I always had a slight feeling that this would come. Just not so soon. I traced the face of my visitor, and then my eyes met a very beautiful, yet

"Victoria," I breathed.

"Yes, Bella. It's me," she crooned as she advanced. God, she was going to kill me. If only Jake would come. But I knew he wouldn't I knew the end was coming. There was no escape this time. She grasped my throat, and bought her lips to my throat. "Goodbye, Bella. Mate for mate," she whispered in my ear.

At this I smiled and let out a small snigger, what she doesn't know will not hurt her. But unfortunately she noticed my change of mood. She pulled back to look at me, obviously wondering if I had gone mad or not. She looked at my face, curiosity clear in her eyes, contemplating whether or not to continue to suck me dry. She didn't choose the option I longed for, I longed for the sweet release of death. But this was not what she had in mind.

"Why are you smiling? I have come her to take your life, yet you laugh in the face of death, why?" Then she began to realize something that she hadn't done earlier. "Where is your saviour, your knight in shinning armour? Isn't he usually here by now? Wouldn't he have saved you by now?"

I knew that at this point my faced had dropped. "He left," I mumbled. I silently hoped that Victoria had not heard me, but I know that is was not possible. Just saying it ripped my heart apart. Just saying it reminded me of how he had lied to me, every day since that incident in Port Angeles, no since we met. From the look on my killers face I knew that this piece of information was heaven to her. But even though she had heard me, she still forced me to repeat myself, probably marvelling in the sorrow I was going through. "I said, HE LEFT!" I screamed out, this made Victoria put her hand to my mouth to silence me. Then she turned her face to the heavens she would never have the chance of reaching, before letting out an evil cackle, much similar to the one she did when she first found me, but just that more venomous. Her flame-like hair creating a hellish halo around her face. She turned to face me before letting out another snicker right in my face.

"That is such a shame, I was looking forward to Edward," - I winced as she spoke HIS name – " coming to save you, this was all for him really. I was going to enjoy the look on his face, when I killed his love right in front of his eyes. It's a shame he will never get to see you again. It makes me feel heartless, HA!" Laughing at her own joke.

"He never wants to see me again anyway, he was lying to me, he never loved me. Death would help me." As the words left my mouth, I realised what a mistake they were. Her face lifted as she finally realised what I had just said. I had given her a way to hurt me, and my wouldn't it hurt.

"I guess I will just have to make him feel guilty, otherwise this would have been a waste of time. The only other thing I was looking forward to was the feel of your sweet blood running down my throat. So if you ever see Edward again, which would be unfortunate for you, if you do, this is my message to him…"

And slowly, deliberately, she bit me. God. I was going to die, but not how I wanted to. This was not a permanent death, it was the end of my mortal life, yet the beginning of my immortal one. This would be filled of pain and sorrow. I wanted to run, I couldn't let this happen to me. But I was too paralyzed by fear to move, to run. And even if I could have, it wouldn't have helped.

"Bella!" a voice called faintly in horror. "Bella, no!" Jacob. He was here to save me.

I heard Victoria scream. And then I felt heat, like I was lying not in the middle of a cold forest but beside a bonfire. And then there was pain, lots of pain, and for once I couldn't feel the pain from my broken heart. The fire in my throat flared and spread up my neck. Then my vision was obscured by total blackness, silence accompanying it.

For the next three days, all I was aware of was the pain. It was like fire, flowing through my veins, filling my head, clouding my thoughts. It seemed to last forever. Then, all at once, it was gone. I opened my eyes. I was still lying on the forest floor. All I could hear was the rustling of trees above my head and my calm breathing. By now, I knew, I was a vampire. When …He was here this was what I wished for, to be what I am now, all so I could be with him eternally, but he was not here anymore, so all I felt was dread.

That was when I noticed it; there was a piece of folded paper lying beside me. I picked it up. It was a letter. From God knows who. Who would write a letter and leave it next to someone who was writhing in pain?

To Bella, it said. I opened it.

Dear Bella, I read.

By the time you are reading this you are a vampire. We killed Victoria. But we couldn't stay. We don't want you to lose control. I'm sorry. Please forgive me, there was nothing any of us could do.


That was all. Jacob. If I could have cried, I would have. I wanted to release all this pain, suffering and anger out. All I could do was scream, so that is what I did. I screamed myself hoarse, which was quite hard seeing as I am what I am. I must have stood there for an hour screaming. But it did not help. I knew how much I would miss Jacob. Edward, I thought. Edward. This was all his fault, and I hated him for it. For over 3 months I started to finally feel anger, and it was towards the one person who almost killed me, Edward, he took my friends and family from me, ruined my life, left me hollow, and I would never forgive him.