a/n: Gosh, these are going to be fun to write: kind of like a break from the world of Animal Crackers (don't worry, still writing it… more so than ever, actually) but this idea stemmed from a review posted for Animal Crackers by ………. So, kudos to her. She said that if our families placed us in the wacky shack, that she hoped we'd end up in the same one, so that we could talk about Twilight there… which we got sent to the Wacky Shack because of. So, of course, my brain goes 'omg, twilight wacky shack', and this was born. These stories are more or less real conversations that my friends and I have had about Twilight, put into the setting of the 'Twilight Wacky Shack'

So, here we go …

Story One

This story includes Riddler (that's her codename, she doesn't have an account on this site yet, but she is co-writing Twins By Birth Enemies By Blood with me) and I (Blondie). So, here we go. When the two girls talk sometimes they are passing notes using the characters to speak (kind of like an odd little role play).

Two girls sat side by side in a white walled room, room 239502 in the Twilight Wacky Shack, located in Washington State. There were no windows in this room. About a year ago now, the families of these two teenagers concluded that the girls were crazy from strange and disturbing evidence found in their bedrooms.

The first girl, a teenager named Blondie, had several odd things found … she had drained all of her savings to buy an odd crystal like bracelet, stating to her parents that it didn't matter that she had drained all of her college savings, her fictional boyfriend would bribe all of the colleges with large sums of cash.

This girl was also found to have depleted her families resource of baby powder: she had dumped it all over her, saying that it made her look pale. When asked why she had also dumped glitter on her face, she replied that she looked like Alice. When asked who Alice was, she replied happily, 'a fictional vampire.'

The second girl, named Riddler, had several issues of her own. The two girls had been friends before being sent to the Twilight Wacky Shack, and now they shared the same 'dorm' in the Wacky Shack. This girl was a Jacob-Lover. Her parents decided that this was an odd disease, and Blondie agreed. How could someone love a werewolf more than a vampire?

She also was found to have an obsession with finding every picture/movie/interview/moment that had to do with Steven Straight, who she proclaimed looked like Jacob. She was on a crusade to watch The Covenant when she got sent to the Twilight Wacky Shack.

"Riddler, let's do a Twilight Role Play AIM chat type of thingy." Blondie said.

"Yeah, that'll work, 'cause I totally have a pencil and paper." Riddler said sarcastically. "Dude, they took away all of our personal belongings, telling us that sharp objects like pencils could be used to injure people who tried to take away our Twilight obsession. Duh."

"I just happen to have a pencil in …" she reached behind her.

"Don't want to know where it was, Blondie."

"My pillow! My pillow, its under my pillow! Seesh! I also have a legal pad. So let's get crackin' … Nevermind, I can't find a word that rhymes with crackin'."


"That doesn't make sense."

Riddler leaned over and smacked Blondie on the back of the head.


"Now it does."

"You have problems."

"We are in a wacky shack."

Blondie rolled her eyes and shook her head full of brunette hair and started to write.

Jacob: So I hear that there is some competition in town.

Riddler took back the notebook from Blondie and continued.

Riddler: Sweetie, there's been competition for awhile.

Jacob: What?! Who?

Jasper: Am I completion?

Riddler: Only if you want to be.

Riddler handed back the notebook to Blondie.

Alice: Jasper! What in the world are you doing over there? Get back here this instant, Jasper, I mean it!

Jasper: Aw, come on , Alice.

Jacob: My competition is a vampire?!

Alice: Jasper!

Jasper: Only if I want to be?

Alice: I acquired a bat yesterday, Jasper. Titanium.

Blondie: I suggest that you get your butt home, Jasper. She has a bat. –laughs-

Alice: We find this funny because…

Blondie: Sorry, Alice. Please don't wallop me with the bat.

Alice: We'll see. Jasper, however…

Blondie handed the notebook back to Riddler.

Riddler: -lolz until faints-

Jasper: Seriously though… -thinks- Do I want to be?

Alice: Riddler!

Riddler: He's a big boy, he can choose who he wants.

Alice: -whips bat around head- That's it, folks! –looks to Riddler- I kill you!

Edward: No! –picks up Alice and places her in a corner, on a chair and holds her down- Nobody is taking Jasper from you, okay? Everything is alright. Please don't kill anybody. Who sold you that bat, anyway?

Alice: -sniffles- A Wal-Mart sales person.

Edward: Well, its going back first thing in the morning.

Alice: Are you sure nobody is taking Jazz away?

Edward: Yes. They were only joking. They are in a wacky shack, after all.

Riddler and Blondie: Hey!

Edward: I just saved your butts, so no attitudes.

Alice: but can I keep the bat?

Edward: We'll see …

a/n: And so, that started the legend of Alice and her Titanium bat… yes, this conversation seriously happened on AIM between my friend Riddler and I.