"Come on," Penelope said, groaning loudly, "Just tell me."
"No," he said firmly, "Its way too embarrassing."
"Oh, please," she said, rolling her eyes at him, "I just told you about the time I chased Michael Smegal around the playground with mistletoe trying to get him to kiss me. I think you can tell me about your worst pick up line."
"Okay, okay," he said, holding up his hands, "but you have to promise not to tell anyone. Especially JJ or Prentiss because they give me enough grief as it is."
Penelope smiled and curled her pinky finger around his, "Swear."
"Okay. I was in college, big football star and all, thought I was god's gift to women."
"Even back then?"
He glared, "Not funny. Anyway, we went to a bar and there was an older woman there. A cougar I guess they'd call her now. So, the guys start to talk up how they could seduce her, and after a few beers, I was feeling pretty good and said I could get her into bed in ten minutes or less. So of course, they bet me I couldn't. I take the bet, and walk up to her. She turns toward me and suddenly I can't think. I open my mouth and out comes some of the most ridiculous words I've ever spoken."
"What did you say to her?"
"I wish you were a screen door... So I can slam you all day long!"
Penelope's face went blank, then her mouth opened wide and a cackle escaped her, then a giggle, then full out makes your stomach ache laughter, "Oh my god, oh my…what…what did she do?"
"She laughed at me. I think I would have rather she threw her drink at me, but that was a younger woman's move. She just stared and laughed and everyone else laughed and well…it was pretty bad."
Penelope kept laughing, small giggles escaping her, "Oh that's the best thing I've ever heard. I figured you just picked women up without even trying. Like they just flocked to you or something."
"Oh baby girl, you give me too much credit. I have to work for it too…and I've gotten better over time. I've even got some better lines now."
"Oh really, like what."
"You want to hear them?"
"Sure," she said, leaning in a little, showing off her cleavage playfully, "Go on, stud, try and seduce me."
"Well, let's see….how about…." Derek looked deep in her eyes and smiled, "Hey, are you tired…because you've been running through my head all night long."
"Okay, okay," he said, holding up his hands, "that one is a little much. How about….does your head hurt? No, I could have sworn you fell from heaven."
Penelope began giggling again, "Come on Derek, try a real one."
Derek stopped smiling, his eyes serious as he leaned in closer to her, "This is a nice dress," he said, his fingers sliding along the satiny shoulder strap, just barely touching her ski, "It looks great on you." He leaned in, his lips moving towards her, almost as if he was going to kiss her before they continued up, brushing her cheek before settling against her ear, "It would look even better on my bedroom floor," his voice was low as he spoke and when he finished his teeth nibbled on her ear lobe. She shivered, her eyes closing as her hands came up to his arms, fingernails clenching as she tried to calm herself.
He pulled away, "Open your eyes, Penelope."
"Uh huh," she said, keeping them closed, trying not to embarrass herself, "Just a minute."
She felt him move and soon he was pressing against her, "Now," he whispered against her lips.
Her eyes flew open just before he kissed her and she held his gaze as his mouth made love to hers.
"That was a good line," she whispered breathlessly when he pulled away.
"Hmmm…we'll see," he murmured as he kissed her again.
"What do you mean?"
He smiled, taking her hand and leading her toward the bedroom, "We'll see…as soon as I get your dress off."
She giggled quietly, and followed Derek toward the bedroom.
It wasn't just a good pick up line; it might be the best ever.