Hello, everybody. -waves hand furiously- I am back.
I wrote this new fic-oneshot-thing to relieve stress about my other fics.
I am SO FRICKIN' stressed.
-coughs- Anyways...this is about Team seven and sorta-Team-Gai-ish in an Anger Management class.
...Yeah, u can see where i'm going with this.
that's about it, I guess.
Mission: Anger Management Class
…Oh, HELL NO!
Tsunade waited patiently for the four teens in front of her to react.
To no surprise, the loud-mouthed blond didn't disappoint.
"Naruto, calm down," Tsunade said, rubbing her temples. "This is exactly what I'm talking about."
"No-you-can't-I-won't-YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" The blond screamed.
"NARUTO SHUT THE HELL UP!"
"SHUT UP TEME!"
"Emo bastard. Dickless. Hag. Shut up, Tsunade's trying to talk."
PUNCH! "GO TO HELL, SAI!"
Tsunade sighed, rubbing her temples some more. "Naruto. Sakura. Sai. Sasuke. This is a mission. You can't back out…Sakura here take this," She flapped a brochure towards the only girl in the room. The pink-haired female took it. "Now…you three are taking Anger Management courses. TOGETHER. Because you all are incompetent and can't stand each other-well, that's not true, you can, you just fight your way to it. I can't have this. Save the fighting for actual missions…and get along normally. Go. Your first class is in fifteen minutes. Get out, get out," The blonde haired sannin shooed the four teens out of her office.
As soon as they were gone she grabbed a bottle of sake.
Ugh and I didn't even add Kakashi in…
Sakura sighed, trying to block out Naruto's rant about how unfair Tsunade was being.
"Naruto if you don't shut up I will hurt you."
"Y'know, hag, this is exactly why we're in this predicament to begin with," Sai said coolly.
"Wow, I'm surprised you know a big word like predicament,' Sakura said just as coolly. "C'mon, guys, we're here."
"Ah, but Sakura-chan, can't we ski-"
"Naruto shut up."
Ah, silence is golden.
Sakura pushed open the door to see…
"Neji? Tenten? Bushy-brows? What the HELL are you guys doing here?" Naruto blurted.
"MY YOUTHFUL CHERRY BLOSSOM!"
Sakura winced. "Er, hello, Lee."
Sasuke smirked. "Hyuuga."
"Hey Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, Sai,' Tenten smiled, grabbing the back of Lee's spandex and dragging him back down into a seat. "Tsunade decided we needed…some…help."
Sakura grimaced. "Same here."
Sakura sat down besides Tenten, Sasuke next to her, Naruto next to him, and Sai at the end of the line of chairs, pulling out a drawing pad from who knows where.
Sakura crossed her legs and folded her arms, a charming smile flashing across her face as the door opened.
She'd do anything possible to get herself out of this.
"You are Tenten, Sakura Haruno, Neji Hyuuga, Sai, Rock Lee, Naruto Uzumaki, and Sasuke Uchiha?" The man who'd come out asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. When they all nodded, he smiled brightly. "Good. I'm Hennan, and I'll be your director for this class."
Hennan straightened, smiling brightly at them all.
First test…see how they respond…
The pink-haired female and the brown-haired female smiled. The long brown-haired male grunted. As did the black-haired male with hair sticking up like a chicken's butt. The one with a drawing pad flashed him a fake smile, and the black-haired one wearing green spandex flashed him a thousand megawatt smile, giving him the thumbs up. And, last but not least, the blond haired one grinned from ear to ear.
Hennan made some notes on his clipboard. "Now, if everyone will pull their chairs into a circle…" He sat down, motioning them all forward.
"Okay…we'll start with a simple introduction. You may all know each other, but I don't know you. Say your name, what you like…those things. So…you, start first,' He motioned towards the black-haired one with green spandex.
"OH! IT IS SO YOUTHFUL TO GO FIRST!" He screamed.
"MY YOUTHFUL NAME IS ROCK LEE! I ENJOY YOUTHFUL TRAINING, BEING WITH YOUTHFUL GAI SENSEI, AND BEING YOUTHFUL!!"
"Hnn, I'm Neji Hyuuga, I also enjoy training. I hate my clan."
Yup, this kid is definitely in the right place…
"Hi! I'm Tenten, I enjoy training, hanging out with my friends-"
Well this one's somewhat normal, Hennan mused.
"HI I'M NARUTO I LIKE RAMEN, BEING WITH MY FRIENDS, AND TRAINING! I'M GOING TO BE THE NEXT HOKAGE!"
…He's definitely a cause of anger in his group…
"Hi, I'm Sakura Haruno, I'm a medic, I like…healing people, reading, being with my friends, and…" She frowned, and then her eyes lit up. "Eating with my friends!"
"Hnn. Sasuke Uchiha…I like tomatoes and training. I hate the dobe sitting next to me."
"GO TO HELL TEME!"
"Make me, dobe."
"argh! I HATE YOUR ATTITUDE, TEME!"
This will take a while…
He smirked as he watched the blond next to him go nuts. Sakura gently nudged him. "Sasuke…" She sighed. "Naruto, enough. Hennan-san is waiting to continue."
Hennan smiled brightly at the young female. "Thank you, Sakura."
"Your welcome," She smiled back, and Sasuke felt a growl rise in the back of his throat.
Naruto looked about ready to pounce on Hennan and take him out. So did Sai.
"Anyways…you, your last," Hennan pointed to Sai.
"I'm Sai, I like painting and drawing…"
"Well," Hennan smiled. "Good. Now, have any of you ever been to an anger management class before."
Silence. Sasuke silently cursed in the back of his mind, before raising his hand. "Aa."
Hennan raised an eyebrow. "Really? Well, would you like to talk about it?"
"Eh, teme? You went to an anger management class? When? Where? With who?"
Sasuke glared at Naruto. "I'd rather not talk about it, dobe."
"Eh? But teme-"
"Naruto, shut up," Sakura interjected. "It's obvious that he went to one when he was…gone…"
A tense silence rained over the four of them. Even Neji, Lee, and Tenten looked solemn.
"Oh…" Naruto said.
And that was that. Sasuke looked back at Hennan. "No, I wouldn't like to talk about it."
"OK. Well…we're all here today to talk about your anger problems. So, I would like us to all…identify what gets you angry. What's the source or your anger."
"Ah? No volunteers…hmmm…' Hennan looked back and forth between the seven teens.
Sasuke snorted, and then looked towards the blond sitting next to him. "The dobe."
"AGH! SHUT UP TEME! I'M NOT A DOBE!"
"Really? You could've fooled me," Sasuke replied easily.
Sakura looked pissed. "SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU TWO!"
Hennan sweatdropped, walked up to the whiteboard, and began to write.
Main Causes Of Anger: Naruto,
Causes Anger: To Naruto, to Sakura
Main Causes Of Anger: Sasuke, Naruto
Main Causes Of Anger:
Main Causes Of Anger:
Main Causes Of Anger:
Main Causes Of Anger: Sasuke,
Main Causes Of Anger:
Hennan turned around to face his newest clients. "This is a chart of all the things you do to cause anger and what causes you to get angry."
"Erm, excuse me?" Sai said, raising his hand. "I don't have anger issues. It's dickless, hag, and emo bastard that have anger in my group."
And Hennan began to learn the main cause of Team seven's anger.
Sakura blew up in the artist's face. "WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME, SAI?? I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT AGAIN!!"
"Sakura be quiet," Sasuke sighed.
'Your annoying,' She snarled.
"I'm annoying?? YOUR ANNOYING!"
"GO TO HELL UCHIHA!"
"Psshaw, you wish."
"TEME STOP BEING MEAN TO SAKURA!"
"NARUTO! SHUT UP! I CAN HANDLE MYSELF!"
"YOU KNOW, I REALLY WISH I COULD SLAM BOTH OF YOUR HEADS TOGETHER, AND THEN THROW YOU INTO HOKAGE MOUNTAIN SOMETIMES!" Sakura screamed.
"Calm down, ugly. You're the reason we're here in the first place."
"OH? WELL, WHO IS IT THAT CAUSES ME TO GET MAD? OH, THAT'S RIGHT! THE THREE OF YOU! BECAUSE…BECAUSE…YOU'RE HORRIBLE! AND YOU LOVE WATCHING ME SUFFER!"
'Now, hold on Sakura-chan…"
"YOU'RE PLANNING TO KILL ME ONE DAY! DRAG ME BEHIND THE GUARD TOWER AND MAKE ME DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH, I BET! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! YOU THREE ARE CONSPIRING TO KILL ME! WELL I WON'T LET YOU!"
"…Are you done yet?" Sasuke asked. Sakura glared at the youngest Uchiha and stood up, hands on her hips.
"NO! NO I AM NOT DONE! UCHIHA YOU ARE THE WORST TEAMMATE TO EVER POSSIBLY HAVE-EXCEPT SAI-YOU DON'T DO TEAMWORK-YOU PUT US DOWN-YOU DON'T CARE FOR US AT ALL-AND I JUST WANT TO RIP OUT YOUR GUTS AND FEED THEM TO GOATS! OR CHOUJI! YEAH, CHOUJI!!"
Sasuke, fed up with Sakura's ranting, sighed, grabbed the back of her shirt, and pulled her down back into the seat.
"Shut. Up. Haruno," He growled.
"Why should I?"
"Because, you're annoying everyone in this room."
Oh, dear Kami…help me through my sessions with these clients…
It took all the weapon mistress had to do nothing else but stare at the four bickering ninjas that made up Team seven. The three Legendary sannin's apprentices and an ex-ANBU root member reduced to a pile of little arguers?
She'd never thought she'd see the day.
The counselor looked like he was going to have a seizure.
Poor man, She sympatheized.
"Uchiha…Haruno…Uzumaki…Sai…I think you should let our counselor speak," Neji said softly from his spot next to Tenten.
As the three males and one female quieted down, Hennan flashed a grateful smile at the Hyuuga. Neji just nodded in response.
"Anyways…as I was saying…you all have cause and effects. Our time is almost up, so I would like to, before you leave, tell you your homework until we meet tomorrow."
'WHAAAAT? WE HAVE HOMEWORK??"
"Naruto, be quiet," Sakura chided the blond ninja.
Naruto mumbled a few incoherent things under his breath before subsiding.
"Ahem," hennan said. "Like I said, you have homework. I want you to list at LEAST a hundred things that get you stressed or angry. We will work with them next time you come to class. You are dismissed."
Pushing his glasses up his nose, Hennan gracefully rose from his chair before walking into a door marked STAFF ONLY.
There was a few seconds of silence, and then Sakura turned to Tenten.
"You know, he was really cute."
She growled as Sasuke finally let go of her arm, glancing around, making sure nobody they knew was there.
"What the HELL was that for, you ass?' She screamed at him.
Sasuke folded his arms. "You. Are. Ours," He growled.
Naruto nodded franticly, and Sai looked up from his painting to give a warning look.
Sakura rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm going home. And, no, Sasuke, you three cannot come over."
"But Sakura-chan…" Naruto whined.
"I said no, Naruto. I'll see you guys tomorrow," Sakura said, turning around and walking off down the street.
"You guys want to come over to my house…?" Naruto asked.
"OW, TEME, THAT HURT!"
"Emo bastard probably meant it to, dickless."
"SAI….I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! I MEAN, WE ARE GOING TO KILL YOU!"
"SHUT UP TEME!"
"Make me, dobe."
Note to self, Sakura thought as she walked homewards, hearing the three males on her team scream at each other, tell Tsunade that she shouldn't have made us take Anger management classes…they only made things worse.
The pink-haired girl smiled, though, because she wouldn't have it any other way.
Silence reigned as the three of them walked towards the training grounds and their sensei.
"You know," Tenten said, looking at Neji. "I really don't think we should ever complain about Lee again. There's NO way I would want to be on Team seven."
Neji thought for a few seconds on this.
"Hnn. I suppose you're right," He replied emotionlessly.
"OH, MY YOUTHFULLY YOUTHFUL TEAM! I WOULD YOUTHFULLY GO TO THE UNYOUTHFUL ENDS OF THE YOUTHFUL EARTH FOR YOU YOUTHFUL TWO!!"
Tenten sweatdropped. "Um, thanks, Lee. Me…too…"
"Hnn," Neji said. Tenten sweatdropped again, and Lee started ranting on about youth again.
Ah youth is wonderful.
Oh, and I'm probably going to do some other sequel/prequel stuff for Mission: Anger Management because this was fun.
Plus, I want to haress Sasuke in his previous Anger management course...
...Which was with...
Becuz they're kewl...'cept Karin. I don't like Karin.
Anyways, I'm done rambling.