Fandom: Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Doctor Who, Highlander
Author: Danyella Skyler Silverfire
Website: Livejournal, or
Pairing(s): None yet
Summary: The hellmouth is a strange and mysterious place, even after it dies, and Xander is about to embark on the newest and strangest part of his life.
Warnings: Some spoilers for the end of season 7 Buffy.
Disclaimer: Checks reality meter (It's remarkably Magic Eight Ball shaped). shakeshake Do I own BtVS, DW, & Highlander? Nope still the right reality. Go eat a tuna sandwich instead. stares Damn.
Author's Note: Check the ending notes. They explain where the hell this came from.
Word Count: 1,790
Xander Hell Lord
Xander had always found it odd that the older cemeteries of Sunnydale hardly had any supernatural activity like you would think they would. Instead three oldest cemeteries seemed to be almost if not actually avoided by the normal cemetery creepy-crawlies.
Ever since he had figured that out during the time Buffy had run away and he was in charge of setting patrols and had noticed the pattern he had added it to his depressingly long list of things to look up when he has the time.
He still had no explanation for the strange-even-for-Sunnydale phenomena, but he thought that he was beginning to get an idea as his Buffy-dubbed 'spidy-sense' was going apeshit with the feeling that 'something wicked this way lurked'. And if he was getting the feeling that he was being watched by something that belonged in a Lovecraft novel, then he could very easily see why it would be avoided by those with a keener awareness.
The wrongness was only added to by the fact that the graveyards in spite of being the oldest, and no longer in use for longer than his grandparents had been alive, it was very well cared for, as is the case with all of Sunnydale's many cemeteries.
This oddness actually led to Xander creeping through the oldest cemetery in Sunnydale pulling Dawn along behind him. Looking around carefully he led Dawn inside the crypt he had prepared that morning, and after a look around to make sure that it hadn't gained an occupant turned to close the crypt door. After several minutes' quiet assistance from Dawn in unpacking, they were soon sitting in camp chairs with a kerosene lamp on the floor between them.
"Xander?" Dawn's low voice was startling after over an hour of neither of them speaking a word since he had taken her to hide for the night as Giles and the other's researched a way to combat Glory.
"Yeah?" Xander smiled slightly as he handed her a granola bar.
"Why are we hiding here?" Dawn asked in confusion. "I mean it's really creepy, and if we're going to hide out in a crypt, why not Spike's?"
"Something I notice a couple years back." Xander sighed as he leaned back and stretched out his legs in front of him. "The older cemeteries are avoided by demons. I'm not sure why," Xander added on quickly to stop her from asking. "The way I figure it, you should be hidden by the 'creepy field' that this cemetery emits, especially since it's the oldest, and therefore the strongest. And since the Great Blond Bitch has a hard enough time finding you normally..."
"...I'll be impossible to find here." Dawn finished a more sincere smile lighting up her face than he had seen in days. "Do the others know?"
"About the creep factor of the older cemeteries? I don't know. That we're hiding here? No. They can't tell what they don't know."
Dawn's smile dropped at the reminder, but she looked around more curious about her surroundings now. "Any particular reason why this crypt?"
"A couple, for one I think it's shielded." Xander said watching her closely as she relaxed a little more. "And two, it's bigger on the inside for some reason, so we have a puzzle to pass the time."
Dawn smiled slightly again at the thought that Xander had obviously put into taking care of her. "Then let's see if we can solve it." Standing up she grabbed on of the flashlights and a pad of paper and pen to take notes as they explored.
Xander frowned as he carefully matched cut and melted wires coming from behind the wall panel that he and Dawn had found and removed.
"What do you think it is? Some crashed alien space ship disguised as a crypt?" Dawn asked excitedly as she carefully held a handful of already sorted wires out of Xander's way.
"Maybe. We'll see if we can find out." Xander answered distractedly, most of his attention concentrated on the last of the unsorted wires. "There! Let's see if we can at least try and reconnect the ones I'm sure of and see if that does anything. Hand me the pliers."
Dawn fished around with her free hand in the toolbox Xander had retrieved after they had seen what a mess was hidden behind the panel. "So what do you think this does?"
"No idea, it's a crashed alien spaceship." Xander grinned at her laugh as he set about reconnect the wires.
During the Fall of Sunnydale
As the sun rose and the First Evil's army was destroyed the hellmouth desperately flailed around for a way to survive like a man freefalling without a parachute; desperate, instinctive, and despairing, knowing there was no actual convenient branch to grab, but unable to stop itself.
There was something most beings didn't think of in relation to hellmouths, and that was the fact that magic can and will develop an awareness over time. The stronger and older the magic, the more of an awareness it will gain.
The Sunnydale hellmouth was a very old, incredibly powerful spot of magic, and that was before it became the prime hellmouth several centuries before. So needless to say it was not only aware, but fully sentient and self aware and was now dying.
It wasn't a stranger to the fact that it could die, in fact several times in it's lifetime it had come distressingly close to death. It had even felt some of its siblings die so it knew it was not only a possibility that it was mortal, but a fact.
And although it knew that there was no chance of there being anything nearby that could handle even a small percentage of it. However in its desperate flailing there was a surprise; there was something there that was very similar to it, but not. Not even pausing the hellmouth latched onto the different/familiar creature and found that it was dying too.
However they each had something the other lacked and needed, the hellmouth had energy, but lacked a body as it was just destroyed and collapsing in on itself, and the Other had a body but was lacking energy and was approaching the end of it's slow, centuries long death.
In a second/eternity the two came to an agreement to mutually save what they could. They wouldn't exist anymore, but they would leave behind something of themselves, their last act. All they had to do was wait for the familiar/different one to be swallowed in by the collapsing hellmouth.
Then their child would be born from their ashes.
Six Months Later
Xander yawned as he followed Anna the white South African slayer that he had been traveling with the last two months. She had woken him up claiming that a crypt had appeared during the night.
Xander was drawn from his thoughts as he saw the crypt that was very familiar to him. Circling it carefully Xander would swear that it was the same crypt he had Dawn had hidden out in in Sunnydale, then had spent their free time - up until towards the end of Sunnydale - trying to repair.
They had gotten it fixed to the point it could communicate with them enough to explain somewhat what it was. Enough that Xander got the impression that it was a lot like a hellmouth, though it was time rather then dimensionally based, and not evil. That and the fact that it and others of its kind had served as ships or where made as ships (he had never gotten a good explanation on that) for a race of aliens called Time Lords.
It had had it's Time Lord partner critically injured and been severally damaged itself in a battle it had gotten caught in and when it tried to reach safety it had instead ended up in what became Sunnydale to have the Time Lord die of their wounds, and it unable to leave.
Xander looked over at Anna and gestured her closer. "Let's be careful about this. Go get the others and we'll test it as much as we can."
Anna nodded and jogged off to carry out his orders.
Xander cautiously stepped into the crypt and looked around the empty room. "Hello?"
"You don't really expect-" Anna started to say incredulously, only to be interrupted.
#Greetings Alexander. Greetings Slayer.# The voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once.
Anna jumped and instinctively placed herself to where she was back to back with Xander and covering his blind spot. "What the hell."
#Hell indeed.# A second voice chortled amused. #A good enough explanation I suppose.#
"You're the TARDIS?" Xander asked, cutting in, well remembering the TARDIS in Sunnydale's tendency to ramble.
#Yes we am a TARDIS, no we are not the TARDIS you knew. We are to put it in it's simplest form, the child of the dying TARDIS you knew and the dying hellmouth you were born on Alexander.# A third voice explained briskly.
#Which is why we are here.# the second voice added on, excitement liberally coating the words. #We would like you to be our captain.#
Xander his mind scrambling to understand what little he had been told so far, asking inanely, "Why do you keep referring to yourself as 'we'?"
#We are the Hellmouth TARDIS for lack of a better phrase. We seem to have many personalities.# The first voice answered.
(More should be added here)
One Month Later and countless Adventures for Xander Later
Xander strolled down the street from his TARDIS towards the block where the hellmouth lay humming a tune he had learned in ancient Gaul some years back.
"What's got you in such a good mood?" Richie asked amused as he looked around the thankfully modern Cleveland. "You've been humming that for the last couple hours."
"Siren was singing it last night and now it's stuck in my head." Xander explained amicably. "Although I'm wondering why you think I'm in a good mood."
Richie snorted and punched his darker companion on the arm, "Xander, I've known you for over seven centuries. Give me some credit."
Xander chuckled and shook his head, "You're getting paranoid in you're old age. It's just being on a prime hellmouth again. Don't worry, I'm sure something bad will happen."
Richie snorted and shook his head. "Let's just hope it's not with the girls. They're a wee bit unforgiving if you haven't noticed."
"I have in fact. One of the many things I love about them." Xander smirked over at his blonde friend before his eyes were drawn to a brunette across the street. Frowning he tried to place where he had seen her before.
Ending Notes: Okay this one requires a little explanation. The idea came from me just starting to get into the Doctor Who fandom recently (so having it fresh on my mind) and playing Kingdom Hearts while Kage Kashu was on my computer reading Buffy Fanfics and occasionally commenting. It all seemed to role around in my head until while I was fighting in the Pegasus Tournament I got attacked by the plotbunny of Xander ending up with a mutant, schitzo TARTDIS/Hellmouth mix. Although the Schizo part can be blamed on Tanya Huff's Keeper Trilogy's hilarious hellmouth. So I can't think of the evil TARDIS now without it having MPD. I'm probably going to end up having to keep a list at the bottom of the different personalities name's and information, as well as who's crewing the TARDIS with Xander.
The personalities when referred to collectively are simply called TARDIS. However they do tend to pick favorites and so you'll have one crewmember that talks to one or several personalities a great deal, but doesn't know about others until someone else mentions them. They are all TARDIS, and TARDIS is them all. Also the TARDIS will occasionally suddenly develop a new personality, sometimes it'll name itself, other times let someone else name it. Not all personalities are female, though most are.
Flora: The one obsessed with plants. She started out with a few potted plants and ends up eventually with an entire huge old growth forest in what becomes essentially the botanical bay. Although because of her obsession they never have to worry about fresh produce.
Christine: The gear-head personality, Xander named her after the car Christine from the Steven King book. Is in charge of seeing that the TARDIS is looked after correctly by instructing the crew properly does repairs. Or at least until she can get some little robots like on Farscape to do it herself.
Siren: The one that always sings never speaks. Led them to visiting the actual Sirens in ancient Greece to hear their songs.