There's an Alien in Your Coffee
This is a purely stupid story made up in a very, very boring Spanish lesson simply because I'm sick of writing angst/romance. It delivers exactly what it says on the box. This is for Caz for making up the title and for making me laugh.
Gibbs stood at the coffee machine glaring at the people standing in front of him before glancing down at his watch. It read 10:37. Gibbs growled – it was seven minutes after he would normally have his caffeine fix and much as he hated to admit it, his hands were shaking like Abby's after she'd drunk one too many (or one too few) of her Caff-Pows. As he moved toward the machine he thumped it and heard an unfamiliar 'splosh' as the coffee poured into the cup. Someone had obviously messed with the machine. 'Idiots' Gibbs thought darkly. He heard the machine whir and hurried back to his desk, wondering what kind of havoc McGee, DiNozzo, Ziva and Abby had wrecked in his absence.
He was greeted by a rubber band (That Ziva later claimed was meant for Tony) whizzing past his ear. He looked at the floor. The bullpen floor was covered in what looked like half of the stationary in the whole of NCIS. He looked round at the younger agents and headslapped all three of them. Abby was nowhere to be seen. He put his coffee on his desk and turned round to glare at DiNozzo.
"What do you think you're doing Special Agent DiNozzo?"
"Erm… tidying up this mess, Boss." Smiled Tony as innocently as he could, motioning behind his back for McGee to help him pick up the rubber bands, staples, broken pens and screwed up pieces of paper that littered the floor.
"What about you, Officer David?" hollered Gibbs, "What are you doing?"
Ziva crouched down in silence and began to help Tony and McGee pick up the mess. Gibbs turned away and smiled to himself as he heard the creak of Tony's chair. He began to turn around and he heard DiNozzo jump from his chair back to the floor. Gibbs let out a little chuckle, they were all so predictable. Now he had sorted out the mess, he decided he would drink his coffee. He turned back to his desk. And saw Abby holding his coffee and poking it with some sort of device.
"ABS!" He shouted, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY COFFEE?? GIVE IT TO ME NOW"
"No Gibbs." She replied calmly "I think there's an alien in your coffee. It might be really dangerous. I'm taking it down to my lab to do some tests on it." And with that she ran away, taking Gibbs' coffee with her. Gibbs glared at her as she ran toward the elevator, he rarely go angry with Abby… but stealing his coffee was taking it way too far.
The whole of NCIS knew that Abby was obsessed with the paranormal. Crop circles, voodoo dolls and alien invasions were all part of an average day down in her lab but no one had ever thought that her obsession would go so far that she would steal Gibbs' coffee, taking it down with her to her lab for testing because she believed that there was an alien in his coffee. Of course to everyone other than Gibbs this was quite funny, watching the Goth run away from Gibbs, clutching his beloved coffee as though it was evidence on a case.
Some time later Gibbs swept into Abby's lab holding a Caff-Pow, bribery to get his coffee back.
"What have you got for me Abs?" He asked
"Gibbs!" Smiled Abby excitedly, "It's definitely ESP!!" She reached for the Caff-Pow. Gibbs pulled it away, shaking his head.
"Tell me what you've got first"
She walked towards her mass spectrometer, not looking as happy as she had done when she'd seen Gibbs walk into the lab.
"Well I tested the coffee. It was just perfectly normal coffee, nothing added, nothing taken away." She said and Gibbs leant forward to take back his coffee, "No! Gibbs! I haven't finished!" She snatched the coffee back from him. "I found a weird plastic like substance in it and I'm just waiting for it to be identified."
At that point a machine beeped and Abby ran over to it and looked at the results.
"Oh." She sighed, "Do you remember when Tony broke the coffee machine and Director Shepard had to have those people come in and fix it?" Gibbs nodded. She held up the material that had been in his coffee, "Well they didn't do a very good job because this is part of the mechanisms from inside." She looked up at Gibbs, clearly upset and worried that he would find some way to punish her for taking his coffee to do such trivial and pointless tests.
Gibbs smiled and kissed her on the forehead, before handing her the Caff-Pow and picking up his own coffee. As he walked out of the lab he turned back to smile at the forensic specialist.
"Good work Abs"