I DO NOT OWN NARUTO! i'm not that creative.
WARNING: Character death. Boy/Boy love. no lemon though. language and other things some might not find appropriate for others. slight OOC maybe?

Anyway, literally got inspired for this because i caught a cold. don't ask how it just happened. I can not be held responsible for the crap my brain comes up with. anyway here's the story. OH and ps, i know i used Rei for the name of Naruto's son in my other story. this has nothing to do with that one, i just like the name and put it in here without thinking.


Dear Sasuke

By the time you read this I'll be gone. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I was afraid you would think I was weak. My body can't handle Kyuubi's power any more and it is slowly killing me from the inside out. I can't remember how long I was suffering before Tsunade found out three weeks ago. She forced me to write this letter knowing that I would never tell you what was going on. I didn't want to be weak. I was always too weak in your eyes.

What I really wanted to say was that I love you. I don't know what I was to you, whether just easy sex or an excuse to get rid of your fangirls, but you were everything to me. I loved you so much and I gave everything I could to you and only wish I could have given more. When you married me so that we could get a surrogate mother for your children it was the happiest day of my life. I know you never loved me but it was enough that I got to be with you for the six years we were together. And even if it was a last resort, we got three beautiful children out of it.

My only request is that you love them. They are so much like you, they want to be like you. They love you so much and I hope that one day you can see that. I know you'll take care of them, I know you're not a cold hearted bastard no matter how many times I said you were. But I want you to love them. Love them because you couldn't love me. We both know what it is like to grow up without someone to love us, and I don't want that to happen to them. They are your children, Sasuke. Love them they way you wanted your father to love you.

I think that's all. I love you forever even if you can't love me back. And I regret nothing that happened between us.

Yours for eternity,

Naruto.

--

Sasuke read and reread the letter. He had woken up to his daughter, Hina, screaming. She had found Naruto dead on the kitchen floor that morning. The boys, Rei and Kira, had immediately run to see what was wrong and were in the kitchen before Sasuke could stop them. He pulled the three children away from Naruto's body and locked them in a room and waited for the medics to arrive. Tsunade had handed him an envelope addressed to him in Naruto's handwriting.

"He said to give this to you today." Was all Tsunade gave him before she left with Naruto's body and the other medics. Sasuke opened the envelope to find the letter that he was now rereading for the nth time. None of it even felt real. Naruto couldn't die. Naruto couldn't be dead, it just wasn't real. Sure he had been sick for the past few months but it was nothing serious. Naruto had said it was nothing serious, he had smiled and told him he would be alright. Sasuke sat down in one of the chairs in the living room as he wracked his brain trying to remember the previous day.

Flashback

Naruto woke up and smiled at Sasuke. Sasuke, never a morning person, frowned.

"Morning, Sasu." Naruto said softly.

"Whatever." Sasuke scowled.

"I'll make you some breakfast, okay?" Naruto asked climbing out of bed.

"Sure, I'm going back to sleep." Sasuke said turning over and covering his head with the blankets. Naruto was always too cheerful in the mornings for Sasuke's taste. He buried himself in the dark blankets and tried hard to get back to sleep. However, the kids were up now and Naruto was being loud and playing with them. Sasuke growled as he tried to force the noise out of his head, reminding himself that they were only four and Naruto was an idiot. After ten minutes of the noise Sasuke couldn't go back to sleep and so decided to take a shower.

"Hey, Sasu, think I can join you in there?" Naruto asked as Sasuke was finishing.

"Sorry, dobe, just finished." Sasuke said turning the water off.

"Please, Sasuke?" Naruto asked. Sasuke sighed.

"It's just wasting water. And you don't care because you're not the one paying for it." Sasuke said. He got out of the shower and dried off, ignoring the disappointed look in Naruto's eyes.

"Okay, well, breakfast is on the table. I'm going to take a shower now, be nice to the kids when you're down there." Naruto said as he started undressing. Sasuke rolled his eyes and left the bathroom to get dressed. Sasuke went to the kitchen after getting dressed to find the kids sitting in the living room watching TV while they ate.

"Don't get food on anything or I'm making you clean it up." Sasuke told them.

"Yes sir." They all said. Sasuke frowned. He had wanted to repopulate his clan, but he didn't want triplets they were too much of a handful and it annoyed him. He didn't have the patience to raise three children and Naruto at the same time. He went into the kitchen and sat down where his food was and started eating. Naruto came in a few minutes later with the kids' dirty dishes and put them in the sink.

"When you're finished can you put your plate in the sink? I'll wash the dishes after I get the kids ready." Naruto said leaving the kitchen again.

"Ready?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah, we're going to the park today." Naruto called back.

"Daddy is going to spend the whole day with us." Rei said excitedly.

"Tsk. Just like you, dobe. You're no more mature than them." Sasuke said softly and rolled his eyes. He put his plate in the sink and was starting to leave. Naruto and the triplets came out about the same time. Naruto helped them got their shoes on while Sasuke put his own on.

"Well, have a good day." Naruto smiled at him. Sasuke sighed and kissed Naruto's head.

"Yeah." Sasuke said.

"I'll see you later. I love you." Naruto called out as Sasuke walked out the front door.

"Hn." Sasuke answered him. Sasuke didn't have much to do that day. He did his rounds of the village and then just helped out here and there when he was needed. He hated it, but it was the only thing they had to do at the time. There weren't many missions and within the past few weeks Tsunade had been keeping Sasuke in the village even if there were missions. By the time Sasuke got home he was tired of dealing with stupid people and went straight to his study knowing that with his patience as thin as it was by that point, he couldn't deal with Naruto or the kids. After a few hours there was a gentle knock on the door.

"Sasu, dinner is ready when you're ready." Naruto said softly. Sasuke could hear Naruto's quiet footsteps as he walked away. Sasuke went into the kitchen to find his family eating together. "Hey." Naruto smiled up at him.

"Smells good." Was all Sasuke managed to say.

"Thanks." Naruto said before eating again. Naruto and he both knew there was no real meaning behind Sasuke's words, it was just something to say.

"Do you want to hear about our day at the park with Daddy?" Hina asked.

"We had a lot of fun, I went on the swings and daddy pushed me so high I could see the," Kira started before Sasuke raised a hand to quiet him.

"I've had a very long day and am too tried to hear your stories, Kira." Sasuke said trying to hide the annoyance in his voice. He didn't really care about their day anyway.

"They just want to tell you about their day, Sasuke. The least you could do is humor them and listen." Naruto said. Sasuke looked at Naruto.

"Don't worry, dobe, I'm sure they'll have plenty of more park day stories to annoy me with in the future." Sasuke said. Naruto frowned and looked away.

"Right, plenty more, I'm sure." Naruto said softly. No one said anything after that and the meal was finished quickly. Naruto tucked the triplets in while Sasuke washed the dishes, slightly annoyed that the breakfast dishes were still in the sink. After washing dishes he went to the master bedroom and started getting ready for bed. Naruto came in shortly after and looked at Sasuke sadly.

"What now?" Sasuke sighed not really in the mood for a lecture form Naruto.

"Why do you have to be so mean to them?" Naruto asked.

"Why do you care?" Sasuke asked climbing into bed.

"Because they're your children and you barely pay attention to them." Naruto said. Sasuke growled and glared at Naruto.

"You're right, Naruto, they are my children. They are mine and not yours so you have no right in telling me how I should raise MY children." Sasuke growled. Naruto looked away.

"They might not have my DNA but at least I love them." Naruto said sadly.

"Whatever." Sasuke grumbled and turned on his side so that his back was to Naruto. Naruto climbed into the bed with Sasuke and kissed his shoulder.

"Good night, Sasu. I love you." Naruto said.

"Hn." Sasuke answered. In the middle of the night Naruto woke up coughing and gagging. "Dobe, if you give me that cold I'm gonna be so pissed at you." Sasuke said sleepily. Naruto laughed through his coughs.

"You'd love it. Making me wait hand and foot on you while you were sick." Naruto said coughing more.

"Whatever, just don't cough on me." Sasuke said. Naruto nodded although Sasuke couldn't see it.

"I'm just going to go get a glass of water. I'll be back." Naruto said.

"Hn." Sasuke said as Naruto got out of bed. He heard Naruto whisper something but couldn't make it out exactly. The next thing he knew he was waking up to Hina screaming.

End Flashback

Sasuke wanted to hit himself for being such a bastard. He wanted to hit Naruto for not telling him. Naruto's last day had been just like any other day in their life. Naruto had done nothing differently, he acted like there was nothing wrong that he would be there in the morning when he knew that he wouldn't be. Sasuke was angry at that. He went to the kids' room and unlocked it.

"You three are going to Sakura and Lee's for a while, okay?" Sasuke asked.

"What?" Rei asked.

"I don't want you to be around until I get the house all cleaned up, okay?" Sasuke asked. The three nodded. "Now, get your things packed and go to Sakura's house." Sasuke said and walked of. The three children packed their things and went to the front door where Sasuke was waiting.

"We're ready." Kira said.

"You remember how to get there?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes sir." They answered.

"Okay, well stick together, don't get lost and tell Sakura to call me when you get there, okay?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes sir." They nodded and left. Sasuke immediately set out on cleaning the house. He needed to do it. He needed to get Naruto out of the house or he would think too much about it. He growled angrily as he cleaned the kitchen. He remembered asking Naruto to marry him here. It was probably the most unromantic 'proposals' in the history of proposals.

Flashback

"We need to get married." Sasuke said plainly one morning while sipping his tea. Naruto nearly choked on his morning ramen.

"W-What?" Naruto asked.

"Tsunade won't let me have a surrogate mother unless I'm married to someone who can't bear children. I'm not about to marry one of my fan girls and you're the only person I can kind of stand in this village. You can't have children and I need children to repopulate my clan, so we need to get married so that I can have a surrogate mother bear my offspring." Sasuke said almost as if they were discussing the weather. Naruto smiled brightly as he looked a Sasuke.

"Really? You're really asking me to marry you?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"Sure, I mean I've been sleeping with you for nearly two years to keep the fan girls away, and I do need someone unable to bear children. You're kind of the only person I've got." Sasuke shrugged.

"Okay then. Yes, yeah, I'd love to marry you." Naruto smiled. Sasuke nodded slightly and went back to drinking his tea. Naruto had hoped that getting married would change Sasuke, but it never did. Things were still the same but Naruto never complained.

End Flashback

Sasuke growled as he kept cleaning. Naruto was a fool. He was always too optimistic thinking that Sasuke would change. Sasuke couldn't ever love him, Sasuke didn't know what love was he didn't know how to love. Stupid Naruto. Sasuke picked up the shards of glass from the broke water glass Naruto had been holding. 'I'm just going to go get a glass of water. I'll be back' he heard Naruto's voice echoing in his head. Naruto had known that he wouldn't be coming back to bed. He knew but he said it anyway. Sasuke tried to remember what Naruto had whispered before he left the room but couldn't think of it. The phone started ringing.

"What?" Sasuke snarled into the receiver.

"Sasuke?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah?" Sasuke growled.

"Well, Hina, Kira and Rei are all here. I just thought you would like to know that they made it safely." Sakura said.

"Tsk. Thanks." Sasuke said.

"Are you going to do what he asked?" Sakura asked.

"What?" Sasuke asked slightly confused.

"Will you love your children?" Sakura asked.

"How did you know?" Sasuke growled.

"I was there when he wrote the letter. I asked him what he told you and he said he wanted you to love your children." Sakura said.

"You knew about this?" Sasuke seethed.

"Would you have changed if I had told you?" Sakura asked.

"I would have at least pretended or something so he wouldn't have died thinking that I don't love him." Sasuke yelled at her.

"You think he didn't know that? He would have rather not have your love than have you fake it. He didn't want your pity, Sasuke." Sakura told him. Sasuke snarled into the receiver. "Look, Sasuke, I'll take the triplets off of your hands for now, but you are not going to let his dying wish be in vain. The funeral is tomorrow and I expect you to come. If not for him then at least for your children." Sakura said and hung up before Sasuke could give any excuse. He didn't want to go to the funeral. He didn't go to the funeral. He showed up at the very end to pick up his children from Sakura, their birth mother, and walked silently back home. Sasuke remembered when Sakura became pregnant. She had offered to be the surrogate mother as soon as Sasuke had mentioned wanting one to Tsunade.

Flashback

"Aren't you excited, Sasu? We're going to have children." Naruto said excitedly as they entered their house. Sasuke scoffed.

"They're not yours, dobe." Sasuke told him. Naruto's grin faltered slightly at Sasuke's words.

"Yeah, not biologically, but I will be their parent." Naruto said.

"Whatever. As long as there are more of my line I don't care who the parents are." Sasuke shrugged indifferently.

"How can you say that? These are your kids, Sasu." Naruto said crossing the room to sit on the couch.

"Yes, they are mine. Because of that fact I don't really need you to raise them. I only need you around so that Tsunade won't have a fit about me wanting a surrogate mother when there are plenty of women who would be eager to have my children." Sasuke said still standing in the doorway.

"Yeah, but you should at least kind of care about who raises your children." Naruto said.

"Why? I'm enough, why would I care if anyone else raised them?" Sasuke asked coldly. Naruto frowned.

"What about when you go off on missions? Who would take care of them then?" Naruto asked.

"What? You think you're competent enough to raise a child?" Sasuke laughed mockingly. Naruto shrugged.

"I don't know, I like kids." Naruto said.

"Whatever. It doesn't matter who raises them, Naruto, all that matters is that they are Uchihan." Sasuke said walking off.

"Sasu?" Naruto called.

"I'm going to bed, you're giving me a headache." Sasuke told him.

"You want me to make you some tea or something?" Naruto asked.

"No, just let me rest in peace." Sasuke growled at him and slammed the bedroom door shut. Later that night he heard Naruto come into the room. Naruto was trying to be quiet, but nothing about Naruto could ever stay quiet. As he was walking towards the dresser he tripped on the rug and fell forward, hitting the dresser with his head. Sasuke sat up and looked at the blonde lying on the floor, curled slightly and holding his head in pain. "Dobe," Sasuke said.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. I was just coming to get a change of clothes and then I was going to the guest bedroom to sleep." Naruto said softly.

"You're bleeding, dobe." Sasuke said smelling the blood.

"Shit. I know. I don't think I got any on the dresser though." Naruto said. Sasuke sighed and got out of the bed.

"Come on, let me bandage it for you before you get blood on anything." Sasuke said walking past Naruto and into the bathroom. He flicked the light on and looking in the cabinet under the sink for the bandages. Naruto stepped into the bathroom and sat on the counter. "This is what you get for being so clumsy. How are you ever going to raise children if you give yourself concussions all the time?" Sasuke asked bandaging Naruto's slightly bleeding head. Naruto laughed softly.

"Yeah, I guess I'm kind of a klutz. I'll try and be better when Sakura has the babies. I would hate to be a bad parent to your children." Naruto said with a smile.

"Tsk. That might be impossible." Sasuke said.

"Well, thanks, Sasu." Naruto said standing up when Sasuke finished. "I should probably get to the guest room so you can go back to sleep." Naruto smiled and kissed Sasuke's cheek. "Good night, I love you." Naruto smiled and walked out of the bathroom.

"Hn." Was all Sasuke gave him.

End Flashback

"Sasuke, is something wrong?" Sakura asked when she appeared at the raven's front door a week later.

"The kids are keeping me up." Sasuke growled as three small children were shoved over the threshold towards the pink-haired woman.

"Of course." Sakura said. Even if Sasuke was somehow minutely affected by Naruto's death he wouldn't admit it. "When are you coming back?"

"Mission report said a week or two." Sasuke answered professionally. Sakura knew Sasuke would rather have just left the kids in her care permanently. Sakura knew Sasuke didn't care about Naruto's wishes but Sasuke was being forced to keep his children. When Sasuke had asked Tsunade why she had told him plainly.

"Naruto gave up everything to marry you so that you could repopulate your clan. He gave up everything so that you could have your kids. He raised them and loved them like his own because he loved you so much. I am not going to sit here and let all of his hard work go to waste. You ruined Naruto's dream I'm not going to let you disrespect his final wish. You wanted them and now they are yours. I will not let you toss them aside because he is not here to raise them for you." Tsunade growled threateningly at him.

Sasuke didn't like her reasoning, it made him out to be some sort of bad guy. Sure he never showed Naruto or his children much affection, okay, any affection. Sure Naruto had given up his dreams of being hokage, hell his dream of being a great ninja was practically destroyed when the triplets arrived. Sure Sasuke had skirted out on most if not all of the parenting responsibilities. But he had never forced Naruto into any of it. Naruto did it of his own will. But maybe that's what made him the bad guy. Naruto did it all unconditionally, and Sasuke took advantage of it, of him.

"Tsk, that's just stupid." Sasuke told himself. He closed the front door after waving to his children as they walked off. He walked into his study and started looking over his mission. He read and reread everything, he always liked to know what was going on. He always wanted to be prepared. Naruto was the one who thrived in chaos, not Sasuke. Sasuke needed order or he would crack.

Flashback

"Dobe, the house is a mess." Sasuke said angrily when he walked into the house. Naruto had been living with him for only a few months at the time. Sasuke had asked him to move in when the fangirls found out about their drunken sex after Sasuke's coming home party. Sasuke was originally avoiding a fangirl by making out with Naruto, but then it turned into something more. Sasuke never denied it felt good, but it never really meant anything to him. Sex was just another outlet for built up energy and frustration. But after the fangirls found out, he forced Naruto to move in as a cover that he was serious about Naruto and not just looking for random drunken one night stands like they were hoping.

"Yeah, sorry Sasuke." Naruto smiled while scratching the back of his head.

"I don't like mess." Sasuke growled at him.

"I'll clean it up if it bothers you that much." Naruto told him. He stood up and started cleaning. Of course the house really wasn't much of a mess. There was an empty ramen cup on the coffee table, Naruto's jacket was on the ground next to the couch, a few DVD and CD cases were on the floor in front of the entertainment center, and an empty plate was on the cushion next to Naruto on the couch.

"If you can't keep your mess cleaned up, I'll just kick you out." Sasuke said as Naruto took the plate and ramen cup into the kitchen. Naruto laughed.

"I keep the rest of the house clean for you when you're out on missions. Plus I keep the fangirls away." Naruto said moving to hang up his jacket on the hook in the entry. He then went and picked up the DVDs and CDs and put them back where they belonged. "Besides, I'm the only person who isn't a fangirl that will have sex with you. And it's good sex too." Naruto said.

"Tsk. It's not that good. If I really needed someone to have sex I wouldn't need you, I can go out and get anyone any time I wanted." Sasuke said rolling his eyes.

"Aw, don't say stuff like that. I might run off with Gaara. He keeps asking me why I'm with you and trying to convince me that you're bad for me. I tell him I can't help it if I'm in love with you." Naruto smiled at him.

"Whatever." Sasuke rolled his eyes. Naruto laughed and crawled across the floor to kneel in front of Sasuke on the couch.

"Admit it, if I just left one day, you'd miss me." Naruto smirked leaning forward slightly to kiss Sasuke on the lips.

"I can't get rid of you long enough to miss you. And even then, I'm sure I wouldn't." Sasuke said pushing Naruto off of him and going to his study.

"Whatever, you know you love me." Naruto called after him.

"Hn." Sasuke answered.

"And the sex is amazing." Naruto laughed.

End Flashback

"You were always so stupidly optimistic." Sasuke growled. He stood up and decided to go to bed. He washed his face and brushed his teeth. He combed his hair and set out his clothes for the next morning when he would leave for his mission. He stripped down to his boxers and laid down on his bed. He started to go to sleep until he turned and placed his arm where Naruto should have been. Naruto always had sex with him before he went on a mission. It didn't matter when Sasuke was called to go, Naruto would drop everything to be with him. Sasuke felt the cold spot next to him where Naruto should have been. Then he felt something warm pricking at his eyes.

"Stop it." He growled at himself. "He was just a dobe, you can't start crying now. Not over him. You didn't cry over your clan, you didn't cry over your brother. You can not cry over him." He told himself. Sasuke could feel his chest tightening up. It was getting harder to breath and his heart felt like it was being stabbed with his chidori.

"Stop it, Sasuke." He told himself. "You are an Uchiha. Uchihas don't cry. Especially over worthless people like him." Sasuke said feeling an intense burning in his eyes. The tears were so close to spilling over. He felt his eyelids start to droop. His eyes closed and he lost it. The tears were too much to hold back, the pain was too intense. He gripped the sheets were Naruto should have been and cried out. 'You'd miss me.' Naruto's words echoed in his head.

"Stupid, dobe." Sasuke mumbled clutching the sheet tighter. "Stupid dobe for making me feel like this. For dying thinking that I never loved you. For always loving me no matter what I did to you. You're so stupid." Sasuke cried. Eventually he cried himself to sleep.

--

"Sasu?" Naruto asked softly. Sasuke opened his eyes and smiled.

"Naru. Oh my god. I had this dream where you died and," Sasuke started.

"No, Sasu. This is a dream. That was real." Naruto said. Sasuke's eyes widened and he grabbed onto Naruto's shirt.

"No, no, this is real." Sasuke said.

"I'm sorry, Sasu, but this is a dream." Naruto said. Sasuke started crying.

"No, Naru, you can't die. You can't just leave me." Sasuke said crying hard. Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke as Sasuke cried into his chest. "I love you."

"I know." Naruto said. Sasuke looked up.

"R-really?" Sasuke asked.

"I'm just a part of your imagination, Sasu." Naruto said.

"Do you think he knew? Do you think he really died thinking I didn't love him?" Sasuke asked.

"I think he died wanting to believe you did love him." Naruto answered. Sasuke nodded and started crying again.

"I hope so." Sasuke said.

"You're gonna have to wake up now, Sasu." Naruto said.

"No, please just stay a little longer." Sasuke said.

"Sorry, but I have to go." Naruto said.

"No, no." Sasuke cried while holding onto Naruto desperately. Sasuke could feel himself waking up. "No, no, no." He cried.

--

"NO!" Sasuke cried out as he sat up in bed. He looked around the room frantically and sighed heavily.


AN don't worry it's not over. so yeah, Sasuke is a bad lover obviously and poor Naru always put up with it. and the last little part (in case you didn't catch it) was a dream.