Title: Busybody
Rating: K, for alcohol references
Fandom / Pairing: Detective Conan, Heiji/Kazuha
Disclaimer: What would Shinichi say to Rashomon?
Summary: They could have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling parents.
Notes: Spawned by that car ride. You know the one.


Age: 5

Toyama looked over at his partner, Hattori. "Hey, Hattori-san?"

"Mmm?" Hattori Heizo looked up from the casefile in his hands.

"Kazuha-chan wanted to know when she could come over again."

Heizo paused a moment. "I'd have to check with Shizuka, but maybe Satuday?"

"Aa." He nodded. "I'll tell her then."

Age: 7

"Toyama."

Toyama looked away from the computer screen, fingers poised over the keys. "Yes, Hattori-san?"

"What school are you going to enroll Kazuha-chan in?"

Toyama blinked. "Uh. Kaihou Elementary. Why?"

Hattori fidgeted. "Shizuka and I were thinking about moving Heiji to a better school than the one he's at right now."

Toyama pushed away from the desk and turned in his chair to face Hattori. "Yeah," he replied, nodding, "My wife was worried about that, too, so we shopped around a bit. Kaishuu's a little more expensive, but it's got a good reputation. The high school is also known for sending kids to good universities."

"I see. I'll tell Shizuka, then. Thanks, Toyama-han."

Toyama nodded before returning to the computer.

Age 10

"Kazuha-chan mentioned that Heiji-kun hasn't taken off the hat since Saturday." Toyama watched as Hattori took a solemn bite of the sushi Shizuka had packed in his bento.

"She says he almost got into an argument with their principal over it," Toyama continued, trying not to smile. "How was the game, Hattori-san?"

Heizo glared (not that anyone but Toyama could tell) and frowned. "It wasn't bad," he muttered, taking another bite of sushi.

"I'm glad you both enjoyed it," Toyama returned, covering a laugh with coughing.

Hattori sighed. "Fine, fine - I'll talk to him tonight. You're as bad as Shizuka, you know that?"

Toyama finally allowed himself to chuckle. "Kazuha-chan bet me that his hair's going to be stuck in that shape forever."

Age 13

"Hattori-san, how's he doing?"

Hattori looked up from his folded hands at Toyama. Behind him, a slip a girl stood, wringing her hands. In an instant, Shizuka was pulling her aside, speaking to her in comforting tones. "He's...better than we'd expected."

Toyama nodded and sat down heavily by his friend. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Hattori shook his head. "The others said the car came out of nowhere."

"I'm still sorry."

Hattori nodded. "So am I."

A soft cough came and both men stood and bowed to the doctor. Shizuka and Kazuha joined after a breath.

"How's he doing, sir?" Her voice came quiet and strained, and Toyama could see wrinkles around her eyes, the first he'd ever seen on her face.

"He'll be fine. A few bruised ribs and a broken leg are the worst of it; the rest are just bumps and scratches." The four of them let out a collective breath. Heizo continued to speak with the scrub-clad man, but Toyama turned his attention to his daughter, who was hugging Shizuka very tightly.

"Hattori-baasan?" Kazuha looked up at her, blue eyes shining more than usual. "Can I give him something?"

"What is it, Kazuha-chan?"

Kazuha pulled out a small, red bag on a long cord. "It's stupid, but it's the handcuffs from when we were kids. I, uh, made them into omamori. These were supposed to be a Golden Week gift, but..."

Shizuka smiled indulgently down at her. "That's fine, Kazuha-chan. You want to go in first?" Kazuha nodded mutely. "Okay." Kazuha bowed before following the doctor to the room.

"That was kind of you, Shizuka-han."

Age: 15

"Okan, can I show Kazuha the photos from the trip?"

Shizuka paused. "Okay, but be careful with them."

He grinned cheekily. "I will. C'mon, Kazuha. I wanna show you the one where I did the triple flip."

Kazuha rolled her eyes and rose from the table. "Dinner was delicious, Hattori-baachan." She then turned and padded after Heiji, the lilt of her voice carrying back through to the dining room - "You did not. You're lying, Heiji!"

Toyama laughed quietly. "They're quite a pair, aren't they?"

Heizo murmured his assent, and Shizuka beamed widely. "I knew they would hit it off."

Toyama looked thoughtfully out the window by the table. "Kazuha's fifteen now. It won't be long before she's thinking about marriage..."

"Toyama," Hattori Heizo broke in, voice firm. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

When Heizo cleared the dishes and went to the kitchen, Shizuka shot Toyama a conspiratorial wink. "He thinks it's a good idea, too."

Toyama lifted his ochoko, tilting it towards her, before taking a long sip of sake.

Age: 17

"Kazuha-chan's been noticing a rather ridiculous amount of dead bodies around Heiji-kun of late. Wouldn't you agree, Heizo-han?"

Heizo ignored the other man in favor of writing up a report, one of many on his desk.

Nonplussed, Toyama continued. "You could say he's almost attracting them."

Heizo continued to ignore the other man.

"Not to mention all the injuries."

Heizo's eyebrow twitched, and Toyama hid a grin by turning away. "At least he's got Kazuha-chan to look out for him."

"Aa," replied Heizo, trying to sound distracted. (And failing miserably.)

"She protects him, buys him clothes, and keeps him in line," Toyama listed off, back still turned to keep the wide grin from showing. "They're practically married already!"

There was a sound of shuffling papers.

"So, were you thinking big wedding or little one?"

"Toyama..."

"Kidding, Heizo!" Toyama turned back to face the mustached man, hands held up in a placating gesture. "They're too young to be thinking of that right now, I know."

Heizo shook his head before turning his attention back to the report. Toyama stuffed his hands into his pockets and made to walk away.

"Shizuka has a ring already," Heizo muttered, just loud enough for him to hear.

Toyama couldn't help but burst out laughing.

Age: 21

"Honesty, Heizo. Don't you think your son ought to just propose already?"

Heizo raised an eyebrow as he poured sake into Toyama's ochoko.

"Propose? I wasn't aware they were dating," he replied mildly, filling his own saucer.

"They're not," Toyama admitted, taking a long sip. "But still! He can't just keep stringing along my daughter like this. It's just cruel."

Heizo looked amused more than anything. "Well, Toyama, if it makes you feel any better, Heiji asked us where we went on our first day the other night at dinner."

"Really?" Toyama looked at him, eyes wide and cheeks rosy from the alcohol. "Where did you two go, anyway?"

Shizuka coughed lightly. "Hanshin Tigers game."

Toyama paused. "You didn't."

Heizo nodded. "I did."

Toyama slapped a hand against his forehead. "Tell me you lied!"

Shizuka laughed softly. "Of course we did. Told him we went for a ride on a ferris wheel and that Heizo kissed me at the top."

Heizo, Toyama noted, was blushing a bit, not that anyone could tell with the alcohol reddening his cheeks.

"Did that happen?" Toyama looked from Shizuka to Heizo and back.

"Yes," Shizuka replied, taking the tokkuri and serving both of them, "but not until our tenth date. We figured we ought to skip ahead a little with these two."

Toyama shook his head. "To meddling parents."

"I'll drink to that," Heizo muttered, tossing back the contents of his ochoko.

Age: 25

"Heizo, did you hear the news?"

Hattori Heizo turned his focus to the phone pressed against his ear. "You're going to have to be more specific, Toyama," he replied dryly.

"Your son proposed to my daughter."

"What?" The pen in his hand fell to the desk with a clatter.

"I know! My wife's on the phone with Shizuka right now. I can't believe it, either."

"Well, he did ask for the ring Shizuka's had picked out since they were three..."

"Heizo! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I wanted it to be a surprise?"

"Good man, good man."

"I thought so. Do they have a date for the wedding?"

"Are you kidding? My wife's had the shrine booked since they were ten. Good thing it's for next summer or else that would have been a waste."

Heizo laughed. "Thank god we're such busybodies, ne?"

"Amen and hallelujah," Toyama tossed back, as dry a tone as could be expected from a very happy father.

Heizo chuckled once more. "Congratulations, Toyama."

"You, too, Heizo. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Bright and early," Heizo assured him, before snapping the phone shut.


1. The ring being picked out from a young age is a hooded reference to Lady Orla's "Truth, Trust, and Promises." It's still pretty good, all canon considered.

2. Part of the Carnelian Challenge for shinalaris, though she was the inciting incidence for this, so. :D

3. Thanks to ickaimp for her awesome Heiji refernce page. That thing is a godsend, you have no idea.

4. Originally published 09 December 2007