A/N: I couldn't resist writing this after watching Time Is On My Side. I've only ever been in two stores in my life where you could buy blow up dolls. And parts of this story are based on real life experience. namely? Miss Daisy. LOL Wherever she is now? She sure opened my eyes about who worked in those kinds of places. LOL
This is dedicated to her...and to the boys, cause they need to laugh more.
Pleasures. The place actually looked seedy. Like the sort of place you should be wearing one of those trench coats and dark glasses.
Sam looked sceptically at Dean, his face pinched into an uncomfortable grimace as they stood outside the adult store. Even just standing here, Sam felt as though every person that walked past them was judging him. He could just imagine the eye rolls and clucking tongues already.
"Remind me again why this is such a genius idea, Dean?"
Dean managed to look somewhat offended before he grinned at his brother, nudging him in the ribs. "'Cause it's mine."
"Come on, dude. Blow up dolls? Bela's not that stupid…she's going to notice."
"And what? You're idea of using pillows is so much better? Dude, this is going to work. Stop being such a girl and get your ass in there." Dean gave his brother a push towards the door.
"I'm not being a girl! It's just…couldn't we find a place a little more...uh, classy?"
"Classy? Dude…it's a sex shop, not Rodeo Drive. If you're gonna get all Pretty Woman on me? You can wait in the car." Dean couldn't believe Sam was being such a wuss about this.
"I'm disturbed you even know that movie, Dean." Sam grumbled as he was pushed into the store. He turned and slapped Dean's hands away from him, scowling at his brother as Dean laughed and pushed past him.
The store was actually a lot brighter and cleaner looking inside than Sam had expected it to be. Products lined the walls and there were display shelves everywhere that were filled with all sorts of sex toys, sexual aides and novelty items. The sheer scope of the place was amazing.
" So what, you never went to one of these places with Jess?" Dean asked, casually perusing the various racks of magazines and letting out a low whistle of appreciation at some of the fine women that were displayed on their covers. Classier skin magazines than Dean had ever been able to buy Sam at some gas station store.
"What?" Sam almost squeaked, before he composed himself with a huff of air and a withering look at his brother. " No, I never went with Jess."
"Why not? Jess wasn't into them? Dude, that smurf shirt she was wearing totally gave me the wrong idea about her…" Dean smirked, waiting for Sam to take the bait.
"Huh? No! Jess had been a few times before…it's just…"
"Just what, dude?"
"I always waited outside." Sam admitted quietly, unable to meet Dean's eyes as he began to flush red with embarrassment.
"Come again?" Dean launched an eyebrow skyward in disbelief. "You're kidding, right?"
"No, I'm not. Not everyone's like you, Dean!" Sam hissed defensively, lowering his voice to a harsh whisper. The last thing he wanted to do was attract attention to themselves.
"You boys need any help there?"
The soft, pleasant feminine voice had both boys snapping to attention and looking towards the front counter of the store. Dean's patented cocky grin was already sliding into place as he walked around the display shelf…and came face to face with a woman that had to be at least seventy five, if a day. The grin melted away into a look of horror as Dean flailed out behind him, slapping Sam in the chest with the back of his hand. "Dude!"
" Ow! What the hell, Dean?" Sam glared at his brother, until the freaked look on Dean's face had him looking towards the counter. "Dean…is that--…?"
"Driving Miss Daisy? Yeah…" Dean wanted to rub his eyes, cause he sure as hell didn't want some grey haired, sweet faced old lady, selling him a blow up doll. That had to be a sure fire way of getting one of the special suites in Hell when his deal came due.
"It's alright, boys…I don't bite, you know." Miss Daisy smiled pleasantly. "Is there anything I can help you with?" She put her knitting down on the glass counter before her, the same glass counter than displayed vibrators of every colour, shape and use.
It was about that time, that Dean decided they should cut their losses and run. He sure as hell didn't expect Sam to step forward and open his mouth.
"Hey, uh…yeah, my brother here is looking to buy a couple of inflatable dolls?" Sam gave a nervous smile. " For a friend…"
"Lucky friend." Miss Daisy smiled, before she turned her attentions to Dean. " You got any preferences, hun? I can give you a great deal on Naomi Night Nurse, here." She took a box down from the shelf behind her and sat it in front of the boys.
Dean was going to kill Sam. It was that simple. He was going to kill him. But right now, Dean had to deal with the situation and he was nothing, if not adaptable. Pushing through the urge to turn and bail, he instead stepped forward, clapping a hand to Sam's shoulder. " Actually? The naughty nurse is much more Sammy's thing. The kid has fantasies about that chick out of ER, Julia some-…."
The sentence ended abruptly as Sam kicked Dean in the shins, then flashed an innocent smile at the woman. "You know? Maybe we should look at that one?" He pointed towards a doll on the top shelf. " My brother's always wanted to be a fireman…"
Miss Daisy turned her back to the boys and reached for the Kelly Fire Fox doll.
Dean looked at his brother with a glaring what the hell, dude? look that warned Sam he was going to regret this later.
"Dean, you started this." Sam hissed at his brother.
"That doesn't mean you have to encourage the Crypt Keeper there!" Dean hissed back in reply, shuddering at the mere thought that this woman knew her way around a sex shop.
"You sure you boys know what you want? They're pretty expensive and there's no money back guarantee with them. You buy it? You keep it. No returns." Daisy placed the Kelly Fire Fox on the counter. Sam looked at the door with it's wide screaming mouth and plastic fire fighter's outfit, fighting the urge to laugh suddenly.
One look over at his brother, showed Sam that Dean was having just as much trouble keeping a straight face. Dean reached into his jeans and took out his wallet, slapping down a credit card in the name of John McClane with a smile. " Yes, ma'am. We'll take them both."
Throwing both brown paper bags into the trunk of the Impala, Dean nudged Sam in the ribs. " You know, all we need is some string and we could fly this dolls like kites!"
The blank look on Sam's face had Dean rolling his eyes. "Dude…Priscilla? Queen of the Desert?"
"You've seen that?" Sam asked, already shaking with shocked laughter.
"What?" Dean demanded indignantly. "It was on late last week…." He let the rest of what he was saying die off as Sam began to bray with laughter, doubling over.
"Shut the hell up! I don't want to hear another freaking word out of you." Dean slammed the trunk shut and stalked around to the driver's door, flipping the bird at Sam as his brother continued to laugh.
"So can we go with my idea next time?"