I tried not to be too upset as I looked in the mirror. Edward assured me I was being silly. He told me I was wrong, it was just my insecurity. I knew he was just trying to make me feel better.
I had woken up two days ago. Wonderful days compared to the three before them. Thankfully, those already were beginning to seem like a distant memory. Happiness does that to you I guess. You can forget the pain simply by being filled with nothing but joy.
Being a vampire was nothing like I thought it would be. I don't know that I ever really thought about how it would actually be. I had just wanted it so I could be with Edward. None of the mechanics were ever very important to me. I had asked some questions, but there had been little in the way of answers and none that I had received seemed to make sense.
One thought had been dispelled immediately. I had wondered if I would always be cold. They had laughed and said no, but I had my doubts, I figured they just didn't notice anymore. Of course they we right. No cold, no warmth, not inside. It just was. I could feel temperature changes in the air but nothing made me shiver or sweat. Warmth from water, or the air felt nice, but it wasn't because I was cold, just because it was a different sensation.
Besides the constant itch in the back of my throat I actually felt very little physically but at the same time I felt so much. The hearing, everything was very loud, but I was assured that I would get use to it. The speed, it was natural. The strength, unnerving. The grace, I was working on it...
The itch? Or maybe I should describe it as a burn. Well, it was scary. It was overwhelming most of the time. But Carlisle had said he was impressed with my restraint. He and Edward seemed to have had a theory about it, but no one told me. And really, it didn't matter. I may have some restraint but it took every ounce of everything in me to hold onto even a small amount of composure; the hunger, or thirst consumed most of my thoughts. No one has had to physically restrain me, not yet. At least there was that. Though out here, the only thing in real danger was the wildlife and that wasn't tremendously appetizing. But whatever it was, the monster as Edward called it, took what it could get; I could tell though that it still was definitely looking for something else. I shuddered to think what it really wanted and I vowed that it would never get it.
In a pleasant turn of events, I found that my love for my husband, and him for me, could overpower the burn. He had been hesitant to touch me at first, afraid that the bloodlust I had as a new vampire would overshadow my lust for him, afraid it would upset me. I wondered if he was afraid it would upset him as well when my new need was more than his love could squash. He was very wrong about that. I wanted him first. I all but attacked him when I realized that it was him I wanted at that moment. He was very surprised, and elated. Mind over matter, I smiled to myself remembering Edward's mantra from the early part of our relationship.
But herein lies the problem, I loved my husband, and I was finally his equal. Or at least I thought that was what it meant, a small part of what the pain was for. I could stand beside him and feel like I belonged, like I deserved him. But now I stood in front of the mirror in the large bathroom and stared into the reflection.
The reflection had long straight brown hair, a little shinier than normal maybe, but nothing spectacular. It was slender, but again, not really noteworthy, maybe indicating a bit more exercise than I had ever done. The eyes. I closed them, I felt my chest lurch each time I saw them. A sickening shade of red. Almost burgundy, very disturbing. I wouldn't even let Edward hold my gaze if it crossed my mind. But I knew this would pass, so I accepted it. In essence, the reflection was just Bella.
Still imperfect, no where near the perfection that was my husband or my new family. I didn't understand. Edward looked the same to me, so I knew it wasn't just something humans saw, it was established that vampires were suppose to be beautiful creatures. Perfect. I had the smooth hard marble exterior, the pale skin tone...but no beauty, just more average. Above average perhaps, but certainly not extraordinary. I was coming to terms with it. I took a deep breath, realizing I had stopped. It was very uncomfortable not to breathe; they had been right about that.
I had been in here for a while now. The rest of the family was coming today. Only for a short visit, but they all wanted to see me. I had spoken to most of them on the phone in the last couple of days, but they were determined to properly welcome me to their family in my new state. I was sad that I had to disappoint them.
"Bella?" he knocked softly on the door his voice full of concern. I opened my eyes again, one last glance, hoping while I had stood here it all had changed. No, still average.
One last breath, I open the door with a smile. "Edward."
He shook his head. "You were brooding in front of the mirror again, weren't you?" He knew me so well. "Why won't you listen to me?"
"You are biased."
He laughed, still so musical and perfect, I hadn't noticed any change there for me either. "Maybe, but I am still telling you that you are perfect." I opened my mouth to protest but he pulled me into his arms before I even had a chance to get a word out. I took in his scent, even more sensual and enticing with my new senses. "Isabella," I shivered when he said my given name like that. "My love, you were perfect as a human." I snorted but let him continue when he glared at me. "And now, though I didn't think it was possible, you are even more beautiful."
"Liar," I said in all seriousness. I loved him for trying. I lifted my head from his chest and trailed kisses along his jaw to show him my appreciation. The perfect crooked smile stayed on his face while he returned my affection.
I started when I heard them and was amazed when I looked around and they were not already in the house. I hoped I would get used to this soon. It was Carlisle and Esme I heard first. They had been here this morning. Esme had sat with me during the pain, giving Carlisle a break and keeping Edward calm. They were returning so we could all be together.
Soon after, I heard Alice and Jasper, followed closely by Emmett and Rosalie. I took a very drawn out breath and looked up at Edward. It was time. I dreaded seeing the disappointment in their faces when they saw how much I didn't belong. He grabbed my hand and shook his head at me contemptuously. I was beginning to think he wasn't telling me the truth when he said he still couldn't hear my thoughts. He seemed very aware of what I was thinking.
I stood, staring at the door, not willing to open it. Carlisle had told them, mainly Alice, to let me come to them. I heard him on the other side, asking them to be patient. I giggled thinking of Alice and her lack of patience. One more time, deep breath Bella, they love you...they are your family. I looked to Edward, beautifully lounging against the entryway, smirking, but saying nothing.
My hand found the door handle and I gently, still not completely in control of my new found strength, turned it, expecting Alice to rush me. But it was not Alice that was blocking the doorway. Emmett was towering in front of me, his grin so big it was intimidating. I took a quick step back running into a now close Edward, not sure what to make of Emmett's expression. His eyes quickly scanned me from head to toe – twice. I would have been embarrassed by his scrutiny if I had a moment to think. But before I realized what was happening, he gathered me up in what I assume would have been a bone crushing hug had I been able to feel it. I heard Edward's weak protests behind me.
But then Emmett's booming laugh filled the room, "Wow, Bella, you make dead look good!"
OK...I hope you enjoyed the story...i didn't put the disclaimer on top for this one, but you know I don't own it...
At least I finished one of my stories! I am still trying on the other one...
Even though it is done I would still love a quick review...tell me what you think...
A HUGE thanks to acireamos...she makes all this fun!
And to all my super readers and reviewers...You are great! you make all this very exciting...thanks for all of the encouragment...
I have another story out here...give it a shot if you wish...I need all the encouragment for that one I can get... :)