Authro's note: So I bet you all think I'm dead! Well I'm not, and I have returned, bringing with me some more smut. As usual, I own nothing (except that I now have series one on DVD yaaay) Hope you all enjoy. Lemme know what you want to see in the future. pleeease RnR, my heart beats only for your reviews... and cookies... and ice-cream... and ianto, but seriously, I love to hear from you. Love n bubbles xxx

Ianto took the shortcut to the Hothouse, and ended up getting there first, so he rested on a desk with a smug smile on his face, and remembered the time not long passed when they had played twister in here. That had been a good night. Perhaps they would play again, but Jack wasn't one to repeat his games too soon. He decided that Jack would have something else in mind. Just as he was speculating the possibilities, Jack charged through the door, and stopped, looking at him in shock.

"But… You were… How did you get in here first?" He whined accusingly.

"Shortcut." Ianto grinned.

"Cheat!" Jack pouted and glowered at him. "I thought I was the only one who knew about that shortcut anyway."

"Why didn't you use it then?" Ianto smirked, amused. "And please do me credit in future. I know everything." He pushed himself into a standing position and crossed the room to wind his arms round Jack's waist and press close to him. All of a sudden, Jack forgot to be sulky, and found it much more fun to giggle like some sort of screwed-up pixie, and pinch Ianto's bum. Hard. It hurt, but Ianto refused to acknowledge this, seeing as playing with Jack was like playing with most toddlers. If you didn't react to their bad behaviour, they soon tired of it.

"Notice anything?" Jack asked with an impish grin when he got no reaction from his suited playmate.

"No, should I have?" Ianto asked, faking bemusement and looking Jack over as if to try and spot something. "Done something with your hair?" He questioned.

"Nope, try again." Jack grinned even wider, and pinched Ianto again, looking closely for any reaction. Fortunately, this was what the young archivist had been expecting, so he was able to restrain the startled 'ooh!' which would otherwise have escaped him.

"Oh, I don't know." He mumbled casually. "New shirt?" He smiled at Jack, who resumed his earlier pouting.

"You're no fun, you know?" He murmured, shoving Ianto gently away from him. Ianto laughed in reply and pinged Jack's braces, stepping back out of reach before Jack could react. "Argh!" Jack yelped as the elastic material pinged back into his chest sharply. "Hey!" He lunged for Ianto, but he was too quick, stepping sideways and sending Jack stumbling. "Wish I'd never trained you in defensive strategy now!" Jack groaned, rubbing his head where he'd gone straight into the glass.

"You started it." Ianto teased, and poked his tongue out childishly. Jack laughed at the rarity of seeing the more immature side of Ianto, and nodded his head.

"That is true. And now I'm going to stop it." He grinned and lunged towards Ianto, grabbing him by the waist and crushing their bodies together. "Like this." He added quietly, his face close to Ianto's, before he closed the gap with a searing kiss.

"Mmph!" Was all Ianto could say by way of reply before he was being thoroughly ravaged, and enjoying it far too much. When at last Jack pulled back to breathe, Ianto was left panting. "Well, I suppose that's the end of that then." He gasped teasingly. "Now at least I know what sort of mood you're in!" He leaned in for another dizzying kiss, aware that Jack was practically holding him upright now, but not particularly caring.

"Right!" Jack panted, pulling back again. "Hide and seek. Rules are simple. One hides, the other seeks. When found, the hider suffers a forfeit. If not found in the given time limit, the finder suffers one instead. Are we in agreement?" He laughed at Ianto's bemused face.

"You know it's really not fair to ask me to concentrate on things when you've just done that!" He grumbled, waving his hand non-specifically. "But yes, we are in agreement."

"Brilliant. You hide first. Time limit of ten minutes. You have 1 minute to hide." Jack grinned, releasing his hostage, and watching him walk away towards the door. "Oh, Ianto, did I forget to mention, it's naked hide and seek." He grinned like a wolf at Ianto's face, a mixture of shock, horror, embarrassment, intrigue and lust, before covering his eyes and beginning to count. "60...59...58...57" There was rapid rustling as Ianto divested himself of his clothing, then the sound of bare feet padding away, and Jack smiled inwardly. It wasn't often he caught Ianto off guard. This was going to be fun. "39...38...37" He strained his ears to try and hear where his lover was hiding, but Ianto was too at home in the Hub to make unnecessary noises. All was silent save for the whirr of the heating in the hothouse, and the gentle humming of the rift manipulator. "5...4...3...2...1... Coming, ready or not!" He exclaimed to nothing in particular, and uncovered his eyes. Ianto's clothing was, Jack noticed with dismay, folded neatly on a chair. It was sickening how tidy the man was, even with a time limit. Apart from that, there was no evidence as to where he was. Jack wagered he wouldn't be in the main hub or the morgue, they were far too cold for nudity. That didn't narrow his search much, but he figured that 10 minutes was time enough to catch the younger man's scent. Grinning, he stripped, leaving his clothes haphazardly on the floor as he was accustomed to doing, and setting off towards the kitchenette.

Ianto resisted the urge to laugh as he watched Jack wandering towards the kitchenette, unabashed in his nakedness. Instead, he padded down the secret passageway, muffling a giggle with his own arm as he realized that this was the second time that day that he had tricked Jack using the secret tunnel. When he emerged in the hothouse, he closed the door soundlessly and settled himself on the edge of a table to wait. It wasn't long before he could hear Jack getting frustrated and crashing about the place.

"Ianto!" Jack growled as he flung himself round the corner into his office. It was empty. Of course, that didn't mean that Ianto wasn't there, it just meant that Jack would have to try to find him, which was too much effort for the immortal to cope with, really. He knocked some things about, glanced at his watch and cursed. "Goddamnit!"

"Indeed." Said a smug voice from behind him, and upon turning round he saw Ianto leaning on the doorway. "You're not very good at this game, are you?" The grin Ianto was sporting almost tipped Jack into a reel of abuse, but it was Ianto wearing it, so he merely shrugged and pouted.

"You win this time, Jones." He grumbled, before remembering that this way he got to do a forfeit, which would inevitably be more fun than tedious. "What's it to be?" He asked with a leer.

Ianto noted the leer and was tempted to be a real tease and insist on some filing. The urge for sex, however, overwhelmed him, and he merely leered right back at Jack, and stepped closer to close the gap between their bodies.

"Well, for starters, you can warm me up." He purred. "It's bloody freezing in this Hub." Jack complied by enveloping him, and running his hands up and down Ianto's back enthusiastically.

"Any particular part of you that's cold?" He grinned, pressing his face to Ianto's neck and inhaling deeply. "You smell good."

"I'm cold everywhere, you'll have to improvise." Ianto purred, tilting his head so that Jack could press kisses to his jaw line. "And thank you… though I don't know what I smell of…"

"You." Jack mumbled between kisses. "You smell of you." He left Ianto's throat to kiss him lazily on the mouth, pressing their bodies further together for heat.

"My, how unusual." Ianto muttered sarcastically before his mouth was claimed. Sounding his approval, he slid his hands round Jack's waist, feeling goose-bumps under his fingers, and pulled back. "S'cold. Your room?"

"Aww.. I didn't get a chance to hide!" Jack whined, ever like the petulant child.

"Fine, you go hide, but I still get the prize." Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Deal, but in that case, I'm not coming out after ten minutes, I'm hiding 'til you get me." The leer was back with force, and Ianto became slightly concerned.

"What if I can't find you?"

"I'll be behind the sofa." Jack winked, and was gone, and Ianto was left with the sound of his own laughter. Needless to say, it was not difficult for him to find Jack very quickly. When he did find him, however, he was in for yet another shock.

As he approached the sofa, able to see Jack's feet sticking out at one end, he heard a low groan, and instantly assumed Jack had hurt himself. Rushing to his side, he realised he had been wrong. Very wrong. In fact, he was greeted with the sight of Jack Harkness pleasing himself behind the sofa. He almost laughed, then he was almost appalled, and then, he was extremely horny.

"You are an insatiable tease!" He accused, as Jack opened one eye to ensure he had an audience.

"And you love it." Jack replied, not bothering to stop in his own ministrations. He pushed himself into a sitting position, leaning on his other hand and pulled his best sex face as Ianto looked him over appreciatively. "See anything you like?"

"Dear God." Ianto groaned, covering his face. "Could you be any more cheesy and predictable?" They both laughed, and Jack stumbled to his feet, removing Ianto's hands from his face, and placing them instead on Jack's hips, before pressing into him again.

"You wouldn't have it any other way. Right?"

"Right." Ianto laughed again before leaning in for an intense kiss.

"Now… Where were we?"

"I believe I was about to take you to your room and ravish you…" Ianto grinned, letting his eyebrows say the rest.

"Oh, well, carry on then."

"I'd be happy to." He spun them round, and pushed Jack gently towards his office, and the hole in the floor that was his bedroom. The new double bed made for an excellent landing pad, so they tumbled in easily and fell to a struggle over who was to be on top. Ianto won by sinking his teeth into one of Jack's nipples and not relenting 'til he had the older man firmly pinned beneath him.

"Ngh!" Jack gasped, obviously in pain, but obviously enjoying it more than he ought to. For all he was pulling an expression of discomfort, he was arching up towards Ianto's mouth just the same.

"Behave." Ianto said sharply, and Jack ceased his wriggling, and watched for what would come next. He liked moments when Ianto tipped the scales in his own favour. They were few and far between, but always extremely enjoyable. He sighed as Ianto soothed the burning skin of his chest with gentle kisses, working his way upwards and taking his own sweet time.

"We really don't have time for the slow thing." Jack groaned, hesitant to break Ianto's stride and his own enjoyment, but aware of their time constraints. Ianto hoisted himself up onto his arms, his body hovering tantalisingly close to Jack's chest, and he involuntarily found himself breathing more deeply to try and make their bodies meet.

"Well then you shouldn't have wasted time with hide and seek." He said matter-of-factly, before draping himself over Jack and sealing their mouths together, one hand rummaging around in the bedside drawer. Jack hummed in response and pulled Ianto's hips downwards to grind their bodies together. Ianto made a noise of approval, and one of triumph as he found what he was looking for in the drawer, alongside a few things he would most definitely be questioning Jack about later… Like what had felt suspiciously like lacy underwear… Putting the thought aside, he pulled back to brandish his prize… A tube of… toothpaste…. "Oh…"

"Sorry, honey." Jack mocked in an overtly feminine voice, "But there is no way you're smearing that all over me!" He snickered, and Ianto hit him on the nose with the toothpaste for his sarcasm.

"Careful or I'll do just that." He grinned, leaning over to actually look in the drawer this time. "What did you do with the… Oh!" He delved into the drawer and retrieved some lubricant. "Got it."

"See anything else in there that interests you?" Jack asked with some real interest himself.

"Much, but none of it in a sexual way…"

"Not even the vibrator?"

"Never liked plastic…"

"No, metal was more your thing…" Jack grinned, then pouted as Ianto punched him gently.

"I thought we had agreed to stop with the Lisa comments? You sound like you're some prissy, jealous teenager."

"I'm whatever you want me to be." Jack purred, winning Ianto over with a gentle nip to his collarbone and a thrust of his hips.

"Can't argue with that…" Ianto mumbled before tumbling back onto Jack and popping open the cap on the tube.

"Can you smell mint?" Jack asked when Ianto had two fingers firmly inside him.

"Umm… yes." Ianto replied, a look of abject horror suddenly washing over his face. He looked down, then back to Jack's face, still horrified.

"What? OH!" Jack gasped. "No you did NOT!" He grabbed the tube from where it had been discarded near his head. "Oh thank god! It's just that mint sensation stuff which is supposed to tingle but doesn't…" He dropped the tube and covered his face with his arm.

"Only because you're a brazen, desensitized whore." Ianto grinned playfully. "Makes me tingle." He added, his mouth close to Jack's ear.

"With anticipation?"

"Something like that. More a bizarre craving for Polos…"

"Neigh." Jack chuckled.

"Oi!" Ianto used his free hand to deliver a sharp smack to Jack's behind.

"Owww!" Jack's grin widened. "Do it again."

"No." Ianto laughed, kissing his way down Jack's neck and removing his fingers. "I refuse to indulge you in your spanking fetishes." He knew without looking that Jack had an adorable pout on his face, so he surged upwards to wipe it off with a kiss. "Now, I believe we were in a hurry?"

"So hurry up." Jack poked his tongue out suggestively, then withdrew it and inhaled sharply as Ianto pushed forward. "Mmmhh. Forget the tingle, this is what I want." He sighed, gripping Ianto's back, and arching upwards.

"Like I said… whore." Ianto grinned, before setting up a steady pace. "How much do you charge?"

"I like to be paid in coffee." Jack gasped. "Can we shut up now?" Ianto laughed and obliged, speeding up to force small moans and grunts out of Jack, and revelling in the feeling that was slowly building up inside him. Jack, meanwhile, writhed and gasped accordingly, and ran his nails sharply down Ianto's back to hear the gasp and feel the shudder that it elicited.

Panting, Ianto pressed closer to kiss and bite at Jack's neck and chest, whimpering as he felt Jack tightening around him. Realising that he was close, he slid his hand between their bodies to grasp Jack's neglected cock and rub it in time with his increasingly erratic thrusts. Jack let him know it was the right thing to do by digging his nails sharply into Ianto's back, arching off the bed, and letting out a primal cry of bliss as he came all over the both of them. Feeling Jack go tipped Ianto over the edge, and he yelled hoarsely, following suit, before collapsing on top of his sated lover. Jack shifted to accommodate him, and collapsed with a silly grin on his face.

"Man, I love orgasms." He mumbled. "They feel gooood."

"I think that's the general idea." Ianto said in a deadpan from somewhere near his shoulder. "I'm sticky…"

"You're sticky? Well, I am so sorry for your inconvenience."

"Mmh. Your sympathy makes it all better. Need a cloth…"

"Well then, go get one."

"Can't move. You go."

"Can't move either."

"Looks like we'll be sticky forever then…"

"Could be worse…" Jack chuckled. "We could be covered in toothpaste…"

"True. I'm going to sleep now." Ianto replied, snuggling into Jack's neck.

"You mean you aren't going to talk to me about our future, and how emotionally close we are?" Jack asked mockingly.

"I'd rather eat the toothpaste." Ianto groaned. Jack laughed and hugged him closer.

"You know we have to get up and dressed before someone comes back to the Hub?" He asked, nudging Ianto gently, and receiving a groan in reply.

"Fine." Ianto sighed and pushed himself up, rolling over to sit on the edge of the bed. "One of these days, I will fall asleep after sex, and you will allow me to do it."

"One of these days." Jack laughed. "I promise. Now c'mon, lets go rescue our clothes from Owen's plants."

Once they made it to the hothouse, which took significantly longer than expected because Jack was walking behind Ianto and being hypnotised by his bum and engaging him in frantic kissing sessions, they fell to getting dressed. It was odd, but Jack seemed to have turned putting clothes on into a game of seduction. Ianto was slightly confused by this, but accepted the extra physical attention every time he put on another layer with enthusiasm. He pulled on his trousers, watching Jack do the same, and the realised that the look in Jack's eyes meant that they were going to come back off in a second anyway.

"Good God, you're horny today." He gasped as Jack lunged for him, his hand instantly inside Ianto's underwear.

"Must be something in the coffee." Jack mumbled, kissing him ferociously. Ianto gave over to him, returning the favour by sliding his hand into Jack's trousers, and kissing him back with just as much passion. And that was when Gwen Cooper, also known as Queen of the annoying people who interrupt perfectly good sex, walked in.

"Oh" She gasped, and the two broke apart. Ianto was mortified, Jack was mildly amused. They broke apart, and as Gwen rushed out of the room, Ianto followed her, pulling on his shirt. He listened as Jack made even more horrifying jokes about her joining in naked hide and seek, and heard himself telling her that Jack cheated all the time, but all he could think in his own head was 'ohgodohgodohgodohgod!'. When Jack went back into the hothouse, he took the opportunity to tell her about the package on her desk, before disappearing after him.

"Oh God." He breathed as the door closed behind him, and he was confronted by a leering, laughing Jack Harkness. "No!" He gasped, mortified further that Jack was still in the mood.

"O, c'mon." Jack laughed, stepping closer and kissing Ianto's neck seductively. "She already knew."

"But now she's seen!" Ianto stammered, his face flushing.

"Well, at least we weren't naked." Jack grinned, "Although… Her face!" He laughed, and Ianto couldn't help but laugh too, despite his own sense of horror.

"Anyway… 'Work to do'? I'm work now, am I?" He asked tartly, looking sternly at Jack.

"Aww, c'mon, I'm messing with her." Jack smiled. "You know it isn't like that, I know it isn't like that. She doesn't need to know." This made Ianto smile.

"Are you being all secretive?"

"I just… Want this to be mine, not anyone else's… Except yours of course…" Jack gave him a rare, sincere, bashful smile, and Ianto felt his horror and anger dissipate for good.

"Mine, you say?" Ianto asked, eyebrow raised, a hand trailing its way down Jack's chest, popping open buttons as it went.

"Oh, all yours." Jack affirmed, surging forwards to capture him in a dizzying kiss.

"We'll see about that." Ianto mumbled, no longer caring that Gwen was still in the Hub, or that Jack would be livid with him when he found out about the GPS he had given her. He gave himself up to the sensation, knowing he would love every second of it.