Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. It belongs to Eric Kripke and the CW.
Info: Makes a small reference to Love and Pain, but is not directly connected. It can be stand-alone.
Clingy And Falling Apart
Sam Winchester knew he was being clingy, but he didn't care. He had just seen his brother die over one hundred times and had been dead for three months because of Wednesday.
Sam was emotionally drained. It hurt to think about Wednesday and all those months afterwards. It hurt even worse to remember how Dean continued to die over and over again in those Tuesdays.
He definitely hated the day Tuesday. It was the worst day ever in Sam's book. Except for November 2nd. Mary had died on November 2nd, 1983, Jessica had died on November 2nd, 2005, and John had died on November 2nd, 2006. Tuesdays and November 2nd decided to die horrible, horrible deaths.
Sam loved Dean so much. Dean had raised him after all. He took care of him when he was sick, comforted him after he got hurt or was sick, and basically just loved him.
He really hoped he was able to break the deal, or he wasn't sure what was going to happen. He would miss being called Sammy, Kiddo, and Baby. Baby was only used in extreme circumstances as a nickname for him. Dean only called him that when Sam was really upset. He had stopped calling him that after their father's dead, and it had left Sam devastated. He had really thought Dean didn't love him anymore.
A kidnapping and a run in with Azazel had proved that Dean still loved him.
"What are you thinking about," Dean asked his brother.
"Nothing," Sam lied. Dean gave him a look. Sam sighed. His brother had always been able to tell when he was lying.
"I'm just remembering all of those Tuesdays," Sam confessed.
"Kiddo, you have to stop thinking about that. I'm still alive. I'm not going to die until the Deal comes due."
"Stop talking about it," Sam screamed. Dean stared at his brother in shock.
"Samuel, don't yell at me."
"It's okay, Sammy. I know you didn't mean to yell at me."
Sam sighed and turned on the TV.
"What are we going to do for dinner," he asked Dean.
"Sam, you're avoiding the subject."
'No, I'm not," Sam cried.
"Samuel," Dean warned. Sam glared at his brother.
"Tell me what's wrong, now."
"Nothing's wrong, Dean!"
"Samuel, stop lying to me."
"Stop calling me by my full name!"
"Stop being so defensive, Samuel Matthew Winchester!" Sam turned pale at the real use of his full name. Dean only used it when Sam was really in trouble.
"I'm not trying to be," Sam confessed.
"Tell me what's wrong then."
"I lived for three months without you. There was another Wednesday, the first one. You got shot and died. It hurt so bad," Sam sobbed.
"What'd you do," Dean asked, going over to his brother's side.
"I hunted and became a worse version of Dad. I couldn't deal with you being dead. It hurt so much, Dean," Sam sobbed.
"Sammy, look at me." Sam continued to cry and refused to look.
"Baby, I need you to look at me." This time, Sam obliged.
"I'm sorry," Sam cried.
"Sammy, you have nothing to be sorry about. No wonder you've been so clingy lately. Baby, you know that it wasn't your fault that I died. It was the Trickster's fault. He made everything bad happen."
"But I love you and I can't do this without you," Sam wailed.
Dean sighed. "I love you too, Baby. But you might eventually have to do this without me. You need to stick close to Bobby or Ellen. If worst comes to worst, you can do fine on your own, Kiddo."
"But I can't," Sam sobbed.
Dean sighed. "Baby, you can do anything you set your mind to. You went to Stanford for four years and you weren't with Dad and I."
"But I wanted to come home so many times," he sobbed.
"But you didn't," Dean reminded him.
"I'm tired," Sam whispered.
"I know, Baby. How about you go to sleep?"
"Will you stay with me, Deanie Beanie?"
Dean got into the bed with his brother until he fell asleep, and then he moved over to his own bed.
Sammy would do fine without him.
He would. He just had to convince both he and Sammy of that.
Dean only had a few months left to help Sammy get through his death, and he would.
This idea came to me this afternoon while I was in school. I only have thirteen more days(excluding weekends and Memorial Day),so I was just thinking about stuff. We've started winding down. I love being a senior, even if I am now terrified of graduation. Up until this weekend, I couldn't wait for it. Now I'm terrified and I have no idea why.