I, Artsysmiles, have not been entirely honest with you. I really am a 30-something-year-old Japanese man who created a very successful ninja manga. Just thought you all should know that. ...Please tell me you could tell I wasn't serious. That is all.

Rant time! So, Cassandra Nightingale pointed out to me that make-up has a hyphen. And while I am thankful and stuff, I must let you all know something. I. AM. NOT. A. MAKE-UP. TYPE. OF. GIRL. So...thought you all might want to know that I feel like Sasuke in this. Minus the 'extreme machoness' and 'love of womenness' that I have given him. Enjoy!

Konoha Preparatory Boarding Academy For Girls...And Sasuke

Written in the first person at times. I'll let you know when and whatnot.

I sat on my pink, fluffy, heart-shaped chair, a bowl of peanut butter in my lap. I dug my spoon into the creamy substance and-

ITACHI?! Get out! This is my crappy story!

What? I'm just giving the people what they want. And what they want is sexy!

NO! NO NO NO NO NO! Leave! Get out of my POV!! And out your shirt back on; there aren't any girls here right now.

Fine. But you'll never star in your own manga with that attitude.

What are you talking about? I'm already starring in this thing!! Just, come back when I need to vent or something.

Hn. Gawd, Sasuke. I never knew you were spaztastic.


Sorry about that. Anyway, I have my lunch date thingy with Sakura in an hour, so it's time to rant.

See, I was sitting here, in my room, when suddenly the weirdest thing happened.


I sat down at my computer, grabbed the mouse, and scrolled over to my documents section. I had written an excellent report on the history of this school-something required for history-and proceeded to hit print. I smirked when I heard the pages slide out of the printer.

"One more page, and then it'll be perfect!" I whispered, watching as the closing page slid out.


"W-w-what j-just happened?" I stuttered, picking up my soiled paper. "It was printing out fine a minute ago!"

"Oh. Well, I needed to use the printer to print out MY history of the school report, so I disconnected your computer from it," said Ino nonchalantly.

I turned and stared at my blonde roomate, a twitch developing in my right eye.

"And, I mean, it's not like you were using it for anything important, Emo bunny," she said.


Ino blinked, and wiped off a blob of spit that had landed on her cheek.

"I know. But I still needed to print out mine, so I thought, 'Me, or Sasuke'? I almost picked you, but then I remembered that it was me I was ignoring, so in the end I chose myself," she explained, brushing her long blonde hair before placing it in its usual ponytail.

"But-but Ino...!" I trailed off hopelessly.

If I can't win an argument about ramen with Naruto, then there was no way I could win against me being more important than Ino. I sighed, and waited for her to finished printing out her report before re-hooking my computer up to the printer.


Yelping, I turned and faced Sakura, face red, short, pink hair disheveled.

"COME WITH ME!" she yelled, grabbing my wrist and pulling me out of my room, Ino ignoring my cries for help.

"What?!" I sputtered when I heard the request she had made for me. "You want me to bribe my dad into upping your grade in Make-up class?!"

She nodded, green eyes serious for once.

"You're his son. That's bound to count for something," explained Sakura.

I shook my head, gorgeous, raven locks swaying. I knew, eventually, someone was going to come onto me for my awesome head shaking.

"It counts for nothing. NADA," I emphasized.

She pouted, green eyes staring dejectedly at the ground. A curse escaped her lips as she processed the piece of information I had given her.

"Emo bunny," she began after a while, "your life is kinda shitty."

"Thank you," I said sarcastically.

"And you sometimes act like a girl."


"Yeah. ...I, um, saw you blow kisses at yourself at your vanity last night before Ino and I walked in," she confessed.



So, that brings us back to where we are now. Saturday afternoon, and-


Sakura sat idly at one of the tables located in the school's cafe. She was flipping through a magazine, fingers drumming on the table in boredom. Her green eyes looked up lazily when she saw Sasuke crash into the chair opposite her.

"Hello," she murmured quietly.

"Hn," he greeted, standing up quickly and popping his back into place.

He bent down to pick up the chair, sitting in it before releasing a quiet yelp. He silently motioned for one of the student waiters to come over so they could order, quickly mumbling out his food choice; Sakura followed in the same manner.

"So, Emo bunny," Sakura said, breaking the silence, "what took you so long?"

"I was...um...talkingtomyself," he finished.

Sakura's pink eyebrows rose in amusement when she asked, "I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that, Emo bunny?"

"I. Was. Talking. To. Myself," he growled out, a frown on his handsome features.

A giggle escaped her lips, soon growing to full blown laughter and 'hn'ing. Sasuke scowled at the hysterical girl in front of him. Just because he was going slightly crazy was no reason to laugh at him!

"Whew! That-hic-was funny!" she laughed, hiccuping every few minutes. "Sorry. I-hic-hiccup alot when-hic-I laugh! Hic!" hiccuped Sakura, face flushed from lack of air.

"Hn," droned Sasuke as he dug into his recently ordered tomato and turkey sandwich. "So-chew-what made you decide to ask-munch-me out?" he asked through a mouthful of bread and fillings.

Sakura shrugged. "I dunno. Kicks, I guess..." she said, small mouth closing on a sushi roll.

"Hn," he said, nodding in understanding. "That makes sense."

Sakura smiled and laughed some more, filling the cafe with noise.

EmoxPrince: i had a date 2day

BetterTHANtheTEME: so?

EmoxPrince: Itachi didnt

BetterTHANtheTEME: ...rite

EmoxPrince: wat?

BetterTHANtheTEME: Itachi has a date. U had a date. Itachi has more dates than u

EmoxPrince: dobe, dont use chuk noris jokes on Itachi

EmoxPrince: it doesn't work

TheAmazingItachi has logged in.

TheAmazingItachi: hn

EmoxPrince: leave

TheAmazingItachi: no

TheAmazingItachi: mom wants 2 talk 2 u

EmoxPrince: oh. ok

BetterTHANtheTEME: c ya!

TheAmazingItachi: momma's boy

EmoxPrince: SHUT UP

EmoxPrince has logged out.

"Hey Mom. No, I'm fine. Yes, Dad's a good teacher. Uh-huh. Love you too. Bye," I mumbled in the corner of my dorm room; Ino was out with Sakura and Tenten, so I was finally alone.

Yep. Week one here is over!

Let's all go party! I'll go call up Naruto and we'll get the gang back-


I'm over here. At a girls' school.


So, while I wallow in my lonesome/emo/guyness, let's have another rant. That makes sense this time.

"So, what's it like having a guy roomie?" asked Tenten as she curled up on her bean bag chair in the lounge.

"He's not that different from girl roommates, except, he's way hotter and kinda really angsty," she commented. "And he talks to himself alot," mused Ino.

"Yeah. He was 5 minutes late for our lunch date because he was talking to himself," said Sakura, taking a swig of hot chocolate. "But hey, at least he's cute. ...For, you know, a psycho guy."

"Here here!" cheered Tenten.

"Amen to that," murmured Ino.

"So, anyone got any good summer stories? I mean, it's the first weekend of the school year, we have to have some good summer gossip!" prodded Sakura, green eyes laughing at her two friends.

"Well..." began Tenten, trailing off mischeviously, "there was this pool incident with Neji over the summer..."

"Oo! Do tell!" exclaimed Ino and Sakura, the two girls jumping from the sofa to sit at their friend's feet.

"Well, you know how Neji's kinda had this whole 'we're together, but we're not a couple' thing going on for a few years now?" she asked.

"Yes, but what has that-"

"So, this summer, Lee asked me out to a movie," she continued.

"WHAT?!" screeched Sakura. "Lee! My stalker Lee?"

"Yes, your Lee. Please ignore this spazz and go on," urged Ino.

"Thank you. So, Lee asked me out to a movie. And me, being the whole 'Oh! Neji and I aren't really a couple! So I'd love to go with you!' girl that I am, said yes. And low and behold, the next day at the pool, Neji bites my head off!" said Tenten.

"No!" gasped Ino.



"Shh! Let her get to it!" said Sakura, placing a quieting hand to Ino's mouth.


"Yeah, so Neji's yelling at me for cheating on him, and I'm yelling back that we aren't a real couple, and then Neji practically eats my face off when he tries to kiss me to shut me up, and then we fall into the pool!" Tenten squealed. "We were basically drowing in the shallow end!"

"Wow, Tenten, some things never change," giggled Ino.

"So, who wants to share next?" asked Tenten.

"I will," said Sakura, a secretive smile on her pale face.

Where were you guys?? You can't just leave me when I'm about to rant!! I am Sasuke! I am the star! You are to listen to my mindless babble!

So, hn, now I will begin.

It was then that I saw her, pink hair blowing in the breeze. I smiled, a true smile, and rose from the stone bench I had been seated on, walking over to my beloved. Oh how I missed the feel of her lips on mi-


I told you come back when I needed to VENT!

Yeah. You said you needed to vent!


Oh. Never mind...


Anyway, now that THAT'S gone, let's have a rant. An Itachi-free rant.

So, Mom confessed. She bribed the principal to let me in. Something about getting in touch with my feminine side. And then she wanted a break from Dad, so she sent him here. Everything makes much more sense now...

And that is how me and Dad ended up here. Oh, and you know how everyone is always going I'm Mom's favorite? Guess who's her REAL favorite.

Dad? He's her husband. No, but good guess.

Itachi? I thought it was him, but turns out I was wrong.

Me? Dude, I'm lucky if I get a 'Sasuke-chan you are so loving!' from my dad.

It's Naruto. NARUTO! He's not even an Uchiha!

Does anybody see something wrong with this picture? I do! And that is why -

"So, this isn't an embarrassing love/jealousy story like Tenten's; it's more of a really weird thing with some sporks, Lee, and bath softener," said Sakura.

"Um..." trailed off Tenten.

"We'll save your story for the next weekend," interrupted Ino.

"Fine," pouted the pinkette. "Hey! We should tell Emo bunny my story!"

"Well, let's go get him!"

Ok. You guys seriously need to stop leaving me in the middle of my rant!

I'll begin to re-tell it -!

"Oh Emo bunny!"



Ta-da! I'll tell the tale of Sasuke listening to girl talk next update! So, review, because reviews are good for the soul! Especially the person who reads the reviews soul.

A note to Cassandra Nightingale: This chapter was 7 pages, excluding author notes, title, and disclaimer. I believe you owe me a cookie. Mwahaha!