A/N: Charlie, you pretty much just got Jeff Hardy for your birthday. Do you really need a story? Of course you do. (It's okay, I understand what it's like to get a Superstar for your birthday. Do I have to remind everyone which Superstar the WWE sent out for my birthday? Damn, the WWE gives the best birthday presents.) Song by +44.

Jeff's POV

This whole little shindig was my idea. Aren't I awesome?

But it's basically pointless. It's not like she's going to remember any of this the next day.

Charlie likes to go out and have fun on any normal day and get wasted. But tonight?

Tonight is going to be so much worse. It's her birthday.

Since I planned this, I guess it's kind of my responsibility to make sure she doesn't drink too much and doesn't hit the ground when she stumbles and falls.

But I'd do it anyway. I'm only in love with the girl.

Don't tell her. It's my best kept secret.

She's a pretty girl
She's always falling down
And I think I just fell in love with her
But she won't ever remember, remember

If she get's drunk, I guess it's my fault. I did plan this whole thing. I invited everyone. I decided to throw the party at my house. I was the one that went out and bought the twenty cases of beer, ten bottles of vodka, six bottles of…

Yeah, let's just say I bought a lot of alcohol. I know she likes to drink so I figured we'd all do something she likes to do.

But who doesn't like to get a little drunk every now and then.

I had to make sure I locked up my four wheelers because I really don't want to know what would happen if Charlie go a hold of one of those under the influence…I don't feel like picking tree bark out of her blonde hair, thanks.

And I can always find her
At the bottom of a plastic cup
Drowning in drunk sincerity
A sad and lonely girl
Quit crying your eyes out
Quit crying your eyes out and baby come on
Isn't there something familiar about me
This past is only the future with the lights on
Quit crying your eyes out baby

"Jeffy," she said to me in a drunken slur. Great, she's using that blasted pet name for me. Fuck, I'm a goner.

"Yes, Charlie?" I responded. I already knew where this was going.

"We need more alcoholllllllllll," she said, nearly falling over. Luckily, I caught her before she was down for the count.

I couldn't help but laugh at her statement. We were already in the kitchen, and all the alcohol

was stacked on the table. The table was still full. We've only been here for like two hours. Sure, there's a lot of us here, but she's the only one that really drinks. "Charlie, we have plenty left."

"Jeffy, I want mooooooooore," she whined.

I would get more. I really would, just because she asked. But nope, the nearest store is closed now. It's like two in the morning. Stupid fucking town…

Yeah, the party started a bit late.

And she said, "I think we're running out of alcohol"
Tonight I hate this fucking town
And all my best friends will be the death of me
But they won't ever remember, remember

"Jeffy, can you please get me another vodka thingy?" Charlie whined, her upper half leaning over the arm of the couch she was sprawled on. I was afraid that if she leaned any further up, she'd fall right onto the floor and onto that beautiful face of hers.

"Charlie, you've had enough. Do you really want to spend the rest of your birthday party with your head in a toilet?" Okay, even I knew that was bull. She held her alcohol and rarely ever puked. If she did, it was always the morning after. I'm usually the one to hold her hair back while it all happens.

Whoa, not because we like spent the night together or anything. I wish. I'm a nice guy, and I'd never take advantage of a girl while she was intoxicated.

"Jeffy! I hate you!" she said. I thought she was joking, so I laughed.

Wrong.

"Jeff, I seriously hate you! You won't let me have any fun on my birthday! You're such a little bitch!" she yelled, rolling off the couch and onto the floor with a loud smack. "Ow…"

How does it feel to not have me there to pick you up?

So please take me far away
Before I'm melt into the ground
And all my words get used against me
You sad and lonely girl

I feel really bad about this whole thing. I should go apologize to Charlie and bring her a fresh drink.

But I can't find her anywhere. And this ice is killing my hand.

I can't believe she snapped like that. It must be the alcohol.

I mean, Charlie is such a nice…

SLUT!

Quit crying your eyes out
Quit crying your eyes out and baby come on
Isn't there something familiar about me
The past is only the future with the lights on
Quit crying your eyes out baby

Okay, I know I totally went all Mean Girls right there, but still.

She's on the deck making out with Shannon. SHANNON! He knows I like her!

Granted he's drunk off his ass, too, and never knows any better.

But…

"Charlie, you're coming with me," I said, grabbing her hand and having to pull her mouth away from Shannon's.

Yuck.

Quit crying your eyes out
Quit crying your eyes out and baby come on
Isn't there something familiar about me
The past is only the future with the lights on
Quit crying your eyes out baby

…And now she's crying.

"Jeffy, first you take my alcohol away from me and now you drag me away from my new boy toy and—"

"WHAT?!" Oh hell no.

"Well, we were just having fun, Jeffy. I don't like Shanny the way I like you. You're my sexy stud muffin, Jeffy," she smiled, once again nearly falling over.

I swear, my cheeks were probably matching the shade of my hair. "You're kidding, right?"

"Maybeeeeee."

"If I told you I liked you, what would you do."

"I can show you better than I can tell you," she said, poking me in the chest.

She walked as steadily as she could over to Shannon who was still sitting on the rail of the deck. He opened his arms out, expecting her to just jump right back into them. Instead, she pushed him backwards and he landed in the pool.

Good thing Shannon's an avid swimmer. And Matt's in the pool with Shane so they can save him if he starts to drown. I have other business to take care of.

"Best birthday party ever, Jeffy. Thank you."

Quit crying your eyes out
Quit crying your eyes out and baby come on
Isn't there something familiar about me
The past is only the future with the lights on
Quit crying your eyes out baby

A/N: I was going to put this up before I went to work, but something else was missing from Charlie's inbox this morning that we discussed over AIM. Charlie, I know how you feel, and you know what I'm talking about. Happy birthday!