Written by Ravenna Zane
Description / Author's Notes
Following Season 7's climactic battle Buffy finds herself alone and inconsolable, leading her slayer army in Scotland. Her friends know something is really wrong. But the one person who could truly connect with her is gone. Is there someone to save her from the depths of despair? Can Willow, Xander and Andrew fix things? Angst and fluff alerts. Spuffy-tastic.
Originally this was a one-shot written on a whim, in fact within around two to three hours. But then I got some positive feedback and I thought I would add a part two. Part two is Spike centered and actually occurs before part one while the first part is Buffy centered.
At a loss for words…
The silence deafened the ears, resembling traveling hundreds of yards below sea level in a submarine. In fact that was exactly how it felt to her, standing there alone in the medieval castle, overlooking the castle grounds reminiscent of a graveyard. Despite being so high above the ground her insecurities and fears threatened to crack through the thin glass bubble surrounding her, crushing her completely and entirely. Like salted water, the despair and utter anguish filled her lungs, almost literally leaving her gasping for breath.
She choked and sputtered allowing the tears rush down her face, leaving pale blonde strands of hair fall out of her messy ponytail, shielding her face from the cruel world that had caused her inner torment. A world that many were not aware of and an underlying darkness slowly closing in on her moment-by-moment and second by second. She could feel it.
After so many before her fell, dying in their quest to destroy the demons of this world, and only succeeding in temporarily beating back the hordes for such a miniscule amount of time… How could she hope to change anything?
Oh that's right. She had changed things. Everything in fact was now different. She was now one in the sea of many that were now 'chosen'. But that only served to add to her already heavy burden. For now she was responsible for every one of them. Not only the many under her direct supervision, but every one of them. In the many years past only one was chosen for the role as slayer, but now she had chosen them all. The hundreds of girls that wouldn't have stepped up into the role of slayer and died fighting now inevitably would die and at a much earlier age.
Becoming a slayer, was a beautiful but dreadful legacy indeed. She had died already twice saving the world from the monsters of hell and somehow managed to survive, but lost so many others in the process.
And there it was… Merely a flash, or closer still, a glimmer of the face that haunted her. The mental image that drove her away from her warm bed at such early or late hours (all depended on how you looked at it) simply to stand out in the freezing cold wind leaving salted droplets on the stone railing of the castle walkway. The face of someone that prevented her from rejoicing in their defeat of the First Evil. In truth, it was not him that prevented her rejoicing, but his memory or rather, what she had lost. Something that she hadn't even realized she had until it was far too late to save it.
Her reddened but still brilliantly innocent eyes rested on the old stonework in front of her, imagining the last moment that she had with him. It continued to replay in her mind every time she was alone and sometimes even more.
"I love you." Her voice spoke of a true sincerity, being bled straight from the heart as only a lover could appreciate.
"No you don't, but thanks for saying it." He replied, a well of bittersweet happiness springing up in his eyes as the words from her that he had waited for what could be as easily explained as an eternity had finally made their way to him. It felt fitting to him in an odd way that at that moment she should tell him this, in the last seconds of his 'afterlife' on Earth.
She held his hand for one last second, seeing the golden light pouring in from everywhere around him, now almost completely engulfing him. He knew the end was near. "Go!" He urged her. She turned and hurried away, heart crumbling to pieces with every step she took until she had caught up with the bus carrying her friends and comrades to escape, at which point she had become entirely numb.
She fought to keep her composure. That had been the first time since the tragedy that she had allowed herself to remember it in any sort of detail. She had known it all along but now it seemed so clear. What he had said, it made perfect sense. She wanted to stay there with him. She wanted to die with him. She would never be able to go as far to even admit it aloud but that was exactly what she had wanted at that very moment as she held his hand and looked into his gorgeous blue eyes. And who knew her better than him? He wouldn't permit it. Not with her younger sister waiting for her outside. Not with all of the others depending on her and looking to her for leadership. Somehow he had known she loved him all along, but to admit it would be allowing her to linger, to stay with him to the bitter end… and he wouldn't allow it.
Just hearing it once from her was enough for him to die with a purpose.
"Spike." She whispered his name, her gaze resting sadly on the black sky stretching for miles, slowly turning into navy that announced the slowly approaching morning.
"Uh, no. Xander." A voice startled her from behind, and she jumped to stare wide-eyed at her brunette friend raising both eyebrows, one partially from behind an eye-patch.
She struggled to say something, embarrassed that he'd come upon her hours spent mourning the loss of the platinum blond vampire. Quickly wiping her eyes she tried to change the subject. "Is something wrong?"
"I could ask the same thing Buff. It's almost four in the morning and you're standing outside in your pajamas crying your eyes out." Xander stated the obvious hoping she would divulge some sort of information on why she was still mourning the loss of their comrade. Everyone knew she was grieving for him, as her efforts to hide her personal anguish were in vain when there was a powerful Wiccan in the same castle the entire time. But they had hoped that it wasn't as bad as it all seemed. That possibly she wasn't in love with him as she previously maintained and had been entirely a physical relationship springing out of her already weakened state immediately following being ripped from Heaven.
It bothered him inside to see the ashamed look she quickly shifted from him to stare back out into the countryside surrounding them. "I'm ok. I'm dealing." Her reply warned him to not inquire further.
Xander gave a small nod. His question had been answered but not by her words. She wasn't dealing. Not by any measure. Willow had been correct as usual. Their closest friend had been languishing, now only hanging by a thread and it was their duty to intervene. But he silently hoped that this particular intervention would solve the problem. He just hoped Buffy wouldn't want to kill him afterwards.
"Willow brought Andrew from Italy finally. He made a big deal about being nervous 'flying by witch' so it was an interesting process." Xander told her, leaning back against the stone railing to look at her face.
Buffy sighed. "Please don't tell me he got woozy and threw up from the Dramamine and there is a huge mess to clean again."
Her comrade shook his head. "It wasn't from the Dramamine the last time, it was due to the lack of Dramamine." Buffy made an 'oh' expression but obviously feigned interest in updates on Andrew's allergies, fears and whatnot. She knew too much already about him in the time he'd spent with them the past few months. "You're probably wondering why I came in here this time of night to tell you this." His statement earned him an arched eyebrow from the blonde warrior. "Well our nerdy comrade brought something pretty nifty with him from L.A. Something really old and… well… personally I don't think it's so great but he thinks it's 'awesome' and he said it's something you would be interested in seeing."
Buffy studied his expression carefully, admittedly suspicious as Xander smirked, the sort of smirk that was a dead giveaway he knew something. Sort of the kind of smirk he gave every year the day before her birthday, as though he wanted more than anything to tell her what he'd bought for her but knew he had to wait for the cue… And there it was.
She saw Xander's attention turn to the doorway behind her. Her heart caught in her throat, sensing a presence. Something familiar. He smiled once more at her, seeing her eyes brim with tears. Somehow she already knew before she even turned around exactly who was behind her.
The first thing she saw as she turned around was his blue eyes staring back at her, conveying every warm greeting possible, leaving him with only one thing to say. "Hello, love."
Xander quietly excused himself past the vampire clad in his trademark black leather jacket, to notice Willow and Andrew peering around the corner in eagerness to know what was happening. "Come on! They need privacy." Xander admitted, wanting to know just as badly what would happen as they did but realizing how rough it had been for their friend for so long.
Willow and Andrew both gave a disappointed sigh and to follow pouting looks as they followed Xander down the long hall. "And after all my work getting him to come here I don't even get to see what happens?" Andrew complained.
"All your work?" Willow asked, narrowing her eyes.
He shrugged. "True Milady it was a combined effort but 'twas my sly persuasiveness that made Lord Spike change his mind to tell her he was alive again."
Xander and Willow watched him for a long moment. "Why do you talk like that every time we bring you here?"
"Do you think we could have a Renaissance day where we all dress up and have parts to act out?" Andrew asked excitedly, completely ignoring their question as the three of them walked.
"I think it's because we're in a big castle." Xander whispered to his redheaded friend.
"That or it was all the Dramamine." Willow commented. "But I didn't want vomit in my hair like last time."
Outside the two people stood in silence, facing one another. Each of them were unsure of exactly what to say or how to respond to the other. Tension pervaded the meeting, forcing the vampire to finally speak.
"I knew this was a mistake! I told that wanker that it would just cause trouble, me showing up here in your new life. I knew it wasn't what you would want." Spike threw his hands up in frustration, dropping them to his sides. "But he went on and on, whining about it until I could barely stand it anymore THEN Red shows up thinking she knows what's best for you just like always. But I know better and you would've been better off not knowing I came back."
Buffy listened, expression unchanging for the duration of his rant. He sighed, placing his hands on his hips, to stare dejectedly at the stone floor. As he continued staring at the ground, ready to turn and leave, the blonde slayer smiled widely her eyes brimming with tears once again but not the tears of sadness or despair and not the tears of shock. This time they were the tears of true joy.
Spike glanced back up at her surprised as she approached him slowly, placing her hands on either side of his face to stand on her tip-toes and place a gentle kiss on his lips. "And for once you've never been so wrong."
His lips turned up at the very ends, somewhat shocked to be hearing the response he had wanted to hear so badly. In his wildest dreams he had imagined what he would say to her, if he were so lucky to have her accept him. He had rehearsed poetry and even gone to the lengths to have Andrew help him practice what he would say. Andrew discouraged the poetry and told him to go in 'speaking to her from the heart' but he doubted it would work. He had spoken from the heart so many times, trying to convince her of his devotion but still the nerdy blonde man and the redheaded witch had insisted that this time was different. That it was exactly what she needed to hear. Andrew and Willow had been right.
Even after all of the rehearsing Spike was at a loss for words. He leaned down and returned the kiss, conveying the words of his heart through the most passionate kiss they had ever shared.
'Intervention' is copyright Ravenna Zane but Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel the series and characters therein are copyright Joss Whedon.