Author's Note: Ronon's thoughts on the events at the end of season four: Teyla's pregnancy, her relationship with Kanaan, her kidnapping by Michael.


And so it begins.

I watch you grow thin lines between your brows. I watch you close your eyes. I watch your lips part in silent sighs. I see your light.

In the cloistered, cool halls of a city on the sea I feel your shadow. It stalks me, stealing my breath when I turn to face it. It isn't there. I am lost. Where have you gone? I feel you clinging to me with carrion covered claws. My memory of you is like a ship without sails. The winds have changed but I remain steadfast. I will not let go.

You walked in a fog. You looked away from my eyes, but I could see it still. I always could. You are like me. You hide your dreams. You guard your tearstains. But I see you like a tree rustling in the wind. I see you like a whisper.

I saw...

I kept your secret for you. I didn't tell them I knew. You didn't know I could see through you like a shroud in the light. Your life and the life you nourished were your choices. You didn't know my heart smiled for you. I should have told you. Fear... fear betrays us all.

He was your sheltered pasture and I so wanted for you to find peace. Peace that I could never have. Peace that left each time your eyes stirred my soul... singing in sighs to the raining mist in my mind, beckoning it to cease. Peace that fled with your featherlight touch, for each brush of your fingers reminded me that it would not last... what I could not have...

And now you're gone.

I'm on my knees.

I wish I were bleeding. I should be bleeding. I couldn't stop him from taking you. I couldn't even tell you that I need you.

I will find you.

If you return and live with your lover, I will be happy. I want you to feel the sunlight.

If you return and we continue our dance, I will be happy. A glance with a warm ember in your earthen eyes. A laugh like the tickle of water. A breath reaching my skin, like the song of the moonlight. I live for you.

So I will find you. I will bleed. I will burn. I burn for you.

You are my whispered promise of sleep in starbreath. I am your lion wrought of sunflame. We are the heavens.