You Just Know
Summary: They are soul mates.
Warnings: Spoilers for 5.08 Designated Target.
Notes: The ep here in Australia tonight was 5.08 Designated Target and after watching it, I just had to write a Jibbs fic :D The info was taken from my dictionary and Wikipedia.
Soul mate n. a person for whom one has a deep affinity, esp a lover, wife, husband, etc.
Soulmate (or soul mate) is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality and/or compatibility.
I stood near the window of my office with a glass of bourbon in my hand, thinking about the case. It made me think about a lot of things; about the idea of soul mates. I wondered if it was possible for me to have what Thomas and Sayda Zuri had. There's had disintegrated, but there was hope for the rest of us, right? I had never really given much thought to the idea, but having seen it first hand, made me reconsider. I thought about my past loves, none seemed so memorable as Jethro, I'm not entirely sure why, but perhaps he had the biggest impact on me, I don't know. I took a sip of my drink, still standing near the window, when I heard a knock on my door, I didn't turn around, I just waited for the person to come to me. I recognise the walking, it's Jethro.
I thought of a sarcastic remark about him actually using the door, but for some reason, it never left my head. Instead I said, "Jethro, what do you think about soul mates? Do you believe in them?" Not realising that this was Jethro, and he's not exactly the easiest person to talk to about this stuff, I turned around to see his response.
"Soul mates, Jen?" He asked, with the look I expected him to have, it was that of surprise, I don't think he expected me to ask him that, especially not as soon as he came into my office. But I had been focused on that thought so it just followed on from what I had been thinking about.
"Yes, you know, like Thomas and Sayda. I have been thinking about them, and I wondered about the idea." I explained, hoping this would make his response come easier to him, as by this point I was very intrigued to know what his answer would be.
He looked at me, straight into my eyes - as he usually did - then looked away, then back at me, "I don't know, Jen."
Deciding that this needed to be pushed a little, I said (whether out of genuine curiosity or just plain interest), "No, Jethro, you do. Somewhere in your heart you know if you have met your soul mate already, it's there, you just know, you don't know why or how, you just know."
"Why are you pushing this Jen?" He answered, probably in an attempt to avoid answering my question, and he is just as curious as I am, so I guess I should have expected it.
"Because, it's important, and plus, I'm just curious Jethro." I replied.
"Shannon. She was my soul mate. You know my record with women, Jen, no one has managed to work since her. Not even you. Though you came close."
It was like a boulder had just fallen into the room, a sudden action that made me look at him in surprise, "Me? Jethro, I didn't know you still thought about us these days."
"I can't erase it Jen."
"Yes, but that doesn't really answer what I said."
"No, I guess it doesn't."
"Are you going to?"
"Do you really want to go there Jen?"
"I thought we were already there, Jethro."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. . ." He sounded as if he was going to say something more, but he noticed me fiddling with an old picture. "What's the picture?"
I showed it to him, his mind went straight back to when it was taken. It was a picture of him and I, when we were together in Paris. I smiled, "Do you remember that Jethro? We had been walking for miles before we found it, I was so adamant about finding this particular flower shop. And after all that time we finally did, only to find the shop keeper closing up shop? And we convinced him to let me buy one more bouquet of flowers." I could see he remembered, his mind was where mine was - back at that day in Paris.
"Yes, Jen, I remember. That was a special day. And the flowers were worth it."
"Do you remember what I wrote on the card?" I asked.
"Yes, you wrote, 'No matter what happens, we'll always have Paris. Love Jenny.'" To my surprise he remembered, I guess I did leave an impression on him after all. I smiled to him, indicating that I was proud that he remembered. "Do you still believe that Jen?" He asked.
"Yes, I do, Jethro, my personal choices aside, I think what happened to us, between us, on that op, was something special, something I won't forget. Jethro, those times, those memories, they're special to me. I won't forget them. Sometimes I regret doing what I did, but you know I had no other choice, I had to do what I did. . ." Before I could continue any further, he spoke.
"Jen, you don't have to justify your actions to me, especially not after all this time. I understand very well - now - why you did what you did. Then, I didn't, but a lot has happened since then. What we had in Europe was something that I won't forget either."
"Do you think things would have turned out differently between us, if I hadn't made the choices I did?"
To my surprise, he laughed, "We probably would have ended up getting married, then divorced then never speaking to each other again. . . So in a way it was good that you made the choice you did. You allowed us to have a friendship again, without having all of that baggage. While neither of us could know how it would have turned out between us, I do know that how it is now, is better than it could have been if you hadn't made the choice you did."
I wasn't quite sure what to say, he basically just forgave me for walking away like I did. "Do you think it's possible for two people to find what they lost?"
"You're avoiding the question, Jethro."
"Maybe I am."
"Oh, I know you are."
He smiled, and I smiled back, then I asked, "So, are you going to answer my question, or are we going to spend the next hour arguing over you avoiding answering it?"
"If you mean, can we start over, I don't know. I really don't. But that said, you never know something for sure, until you actually try."
"Are you saying you want to try?" I asked, inquisitively.
"You're twisting my words, Jen."
I decided to change the subject back to my question about soul mates, because just standing here, so close to him, was making me think about the concept even more, and when you just know that the person in front of you is your soul mate. "Do you believe in having more than one soul mate Jethro?"
"It's possible Jen."
"Of course it is, anything's possible."
We were now standing only centimetres apart, the close proximity was making my heart beat faster, I placed my hand on his chest - to feel the speed of his heart - as a confirmation that he felt the way I did, I don't know why I needed that, I know this man better than he knows himself sometimes, but I did it nonetheless. He took a chance, and placed his hand on mine. The feel of his hand on mine felt right. I looked into his eyes, though they appeared to be emotionless, I knew him better than that. As if on queue, he lent in and kissed me. I felt a sudden surge of electricity run through my body. I felt his tongue enter my mouth, with this I deepened the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck. Passion and intensity filled our veins and was our motivation. It felt as if this moment would last a life time. Maybe it would.