Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. I just play with them.

Author's Note: Ah...um...yeah. This is why I shouldn't think up Transformer fanfic plots while in the shower. Complete and utter CRACK.

- Canis Allsparkus -

The day Jazz's body was brought to the Autobot's new home base was a sober affair. It was also, unfortunately, during the weekend that Judy and Ron Witwicky decided to go out of town. Normally, this wouldn't have been a bad thing, since that meant Sam could spend all his time at the Autobot base. Unfortunately, this time, they were flying, and couldn't take Mojo with them. This meant that Sam either had to spend a fair bit of time at home looking after the Chihuahua...or bring him with him.

And as he watched the little dog raise his leg and start peeing, Sam realized that the former would have been a much better idea.

"Why you little -" the rest of Ironhide's sentence was in Cybertronian, but Sam was sure it was nothing short of every threat, insult, and curse the old soldier knew. Sam didn't blame him. In fact, Sam didn't even try and stop the weapon's specialist when he charged his cannons. He wouldn't have been able to. In fact, there was only one person - one mech - who could have stopped those cannons from firing at the little dog. And they were currently lying on the slab, a few inches away from Mojo, completely dead and sporting a Chihuahua-sized pee stain on their left leg.

Sam turned his head away when he heard Ironhide's cannons reaching critical mass, so he didn't see what happened next, but Mikaela, standing in open-mouthed shock next to him, did, and told him later. Just as Ironhide was about to fire, Jazz's convulsed, and then a trail of blue sparks, starting from the spot Mojo had peed on, spread upwards and out around Jazz's entire body, until he crackled with blue energy. Mojo, startled, yelped and jumped down off the slab, while Ironhide froze, his cannons fully charged, and watched as Jazz...sat up.

"Uh...what's with th'cannons, big guy?" the curious question was what made Sam look again, and he joined everyone else in gaping at the suddenly very much alive second lieutenant. Then, as one, everyone but Jazz turned to look down at Mojo, who sat innocently by Sam's leg, little tail wagging as he grinned up at them all.

"Why y'all lookin' at the dog?"

- The end! BARK! -