Post ep for 1x08: "Key Witness."
It was not until the third time that Lisa came down enough from her sated high to realize what she was doing. The first time, they hadn't made it past the couch, but neither of them had noticed. She forgot about Linus Mills, she forgot about Pablo the fireman/artist, she forgot about Nash's trip to Hawaii with Kelly, she forgot about Cassidy's new boyfriend. In the heat of passion, she had even forgotten they were divorced.
By the second time, the thought had occurred to her. They were divorced, she knew, but she couldn't remember why. They had moved to the bedroom this time, but had collapsed on the floor before actually reaching the bed itself. With Nash's lips against her skin and his hands exploring all the right places, Lisa couldn't think for a second why they had ever let this go. Theirs was a passion that had existed for twenty years, even when it was dormant, it was always somehow present in their lives. It was one of the reasons she hadn't been able to sustain any kind of serious, lasting relationship since the divorce. She always felt as if she was still married to him.
After the third time, Lisa fell back onto the bed, breathing heavily as the memories of the end of their life together slowly returned to her. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the heat of his breath against her neck, his arm draped across her stomach. It had been a long time since she'd been this satisfied. Now, after six years apart, Nash's touch was both soothingly familiar and electrifyingly new. Miraculously, neither had forgotten the other's sensitive spots, their likes and dislikes. She hated that he could still do this to her.
"Three times in one night," Nash whispered into her ear, and she could feel his grin. "Not too shabby, eh?"
Lisa nodded, smiling uncertainly, and moved to extricate herself from his warm, still heated embrace. "Yeah, and I'm sure Cassidy is worried sick."
"Hey, hey, hey." He pulled her back down on the bed and turned her around to face him. "You know as well as I do that Cassidy doesn't give a damn. What's the rush?" She tried to look away, but Nash kept catching her gaze. "What is it, Lise?"
"Nash, this isn't who we are anymore," Lisa replied, sighing.
"Says who?" He countered, propping himself up on one elbow to look down at her. "This is who we were for twelve years, so I know we have it in us. At least now we know where we screwed up and we can fix it."
She shook her head sadly. "We couldn't fix it then, we can't fix it now. As long as you're still you and I'm still me, it's always going to be this way."
He knew she was right, but as he gazed at her with pain and confusion, all he could remember was how it felt the day, twenty years ago, that he realized he was in love with her. He remembered how quickly his heart began beating whenever she smiled at him, the way he had to bite his lip to keep from losing all concentration when she tossed her hair over one shoulder, the way her eyes always followed his every movement when she was angry with him. He remembered taking her to the beach when he proposed to her, blinking back tears when he saw how beautiful she was walking down the aisle toward him, whirling her around the kitchen floor the morning she told him she was pregnant. God, how on earth was it possible for him to love her so damn much? He would give anything to get those years back.
"I miss you," he said, quietly, as if the vulnerability might kill him. "So much. Sometimes I think I…fight with you because it keeps me from thinking about it. I think the more I hate you, the less I'll love you. But it doesn't quite work out that way."
"I know," Lisa responded, touching his cheek lightly.
"You remember how happy we were." Nash smiled at the memory. Sunsets at the beach, cotton candy at carnivals, the backseat of the 'Cuda, breakfast in bed, taste testing her latest decadent creations, afternoons at the playground with Cassidy, staying up late solving cases together at the kitchen table, curling up on the couch with her to watch The Tonight Show after working thirty-six hours straight, surprise birthday parties gone horribly awry. "I've never loved like that before or since, Lise. You know that."
She smiled, tears welling up in her eyes. "I know. But it'll never be like that again, no matter how hard we try to make it work. We'll never be the Nash and Lisa that we were twenty years ago."
Wrapping an arm around her slender waist, he pulled her closer and buried his face in her shoulder. "Baby, I love you."
She ran her fingers through his hair and let him hold her, since she could give him nothing else. "I love you too. I always will, you know I will."
Lisa lifted his head so that their eye met once more, then leaned in and kissed him deeply, a kiss full of passion, pain, and remorse. With tears in both of their eyes, Nash furthered the kiss and moved on top of her, allowing both his hands and lips to roam. She closed her eyes and arched her back, giving him all the access he needed, knowing that this could very well have been the last time she felt his body against hers like this.
The next morning, he awoke to the unmistakable scent of edible food, something he had grown unaccustomed to in the years since their divorce. He crawled out of bed, pulled on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, and emerged from the bedroom to find Lisa hard at work in the kitchen, as he suspected. She glanced behind her and smiled when she heard his footsteps. He came up behind her, his arms circling her waist, and planted a kiss on her shoulder.
"You're up early," Nash remarked, kissing her cheek. "But then, you never were a late sleeper."
Lisa shrugged. "I'm hoping to get home before Cassidy wakes up and discovers I've been out all night."
He spun her around to face him, his arms still around her waist. "The things she must think! I'm sure she'd be absolutely shocked to learn of her mother's revolving door of sordid, sordid affairs."
She rolled her eyes, softening when he leaned down to kiss her lightly.
"Dad?" Cassidy's voice startled them, causing them to break apart. "Have you seen…" She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, astonished by the sight before her. "Mom."
"Hey, kiddo," Nash greeted her nervously, while Lisa simply stood there silently.
"Oh my god," Cassidy breathed, her expression quickly turning nauseous. "You guys didn't…"
Nash grinned, raising a mischievous eyebrow. "Four times in one night, baby."
Cassidy's jaw dropped in disgust before her hand shot up to cover her mouth and she ran out of the room toward the bathroom. Nash laughed heartily at his daughter's reaction, causing Lisa to whack his arm playfully.
"Nash!" Lisa chastised him. "That was terrible."
"Eh, she'll live through it." He pulled her back into him and smiled. "So, this is it, huh, kid?"
Lisa nodded, her mood turning somber. "This is it."
"I guess we just…go back to the way it was, right?"
"Right," she replied, though she didn't sound especially convinced.
"You have me, Lisa," Nash said, genuinely. "You know that, right? Anytime, just call, and I'm there."
Lisa smirked. "Does that include booty calls?"
He chuckled, leaning in to kiss her. "You know it does, sweetheart."
With that, Cassidy re-entered the room, having done away with her temporary bout of parental affection-induced nausea. "Okay. Kid in the room."
"Well, maybe the kid should get out of the room," Nash suggested sardonically.
"Gladly," Cassidy agreed, approaching them. "But first…what is all this anyway?"
"I tell ya, Cass, I was as shocked as you. Your mother, she just…grabbed me out of nowhere and started having her wicked way with me, and I was just powerless to stop her."
Lisa whacked his arm again, rolling her eyes. "Don't listen to him, Cassidy." She paused, debating on whether or not to be completely straight with her daughter, but opted instead for truth with a hint of sarcasm. "He started it!"
"Why, Lisa Crandall Bridges, how dare you accuse me of something so...ungentlemanly," Nash responded, feigning outrage.
Cassidy shook her head indifferently. "Okay. I'm just gonna head out then so you two can keep up your little game of 'two truths and a lie.' I'll see you at home, Mom."
Both Nash and Lisa bid farewell to their daughter before returning their focus to each other.
"I should get dressed," Lisa said, finally.
"Yeah." He nodded. "I gotta head into the office."
Lisa raised a challenging eyebrow. "Typical."
"Now, Lisa, don't start…"
She smiled sweetly, batting her eyelashes at him mockingly, then kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Eat those eggs before they get cold." She patted his shoulder, then moseyed back into the bedroom to get dressed. As Nash moved to the counter to do as he was told, he watched her walk away and wished, not for the first time, that he had married Lisa before he became a cop. Maybe then, he told himself, he would have had enough sense to get take up a profession far more condusive to married life.