I'm coming home again.
Do you think about me now and then?
Do you think about me now and then?
'Cause I'm coming home again
I'm in home again.
I met this girl when I was three years old
And what I loved most she had so much soul…
Kanye West – Homecoming
"Walk away… you can do that, Johnny… please…"
Johnny Zacchara looked up at the girl that he loved more than life and just shook his head. She was so naïve and optimistic and he loved that about her but she couldn't understand his business. She would never understand his business.
"Not anymore… I won't hide and I won't pretend that there's some way to keep the peace… not with Sonny…" he said, looking her dead in the eye.
"I can't believe that you would choose the life that's taken so much from you over me…" she said.
"Lulu…" he sighed.
But Lulu just shook her head and turned away from him. She couldn't look at him and not fall to pieces. She swore that she would never feel like this about another guy ever again. Too many times had she been broken by a man but never like this. Lulu Spencer had fallen so deeply for this guy and like every other guy in her life, he wouldn't choose her. Dillon never chose her, Logan only got involved with her as a bet with Maxie Jones, even her own father never put her first… and now it was happening again. She was losing Johnny to the life that he said that he never wanted a part of when they had first met.
"I don't want you to go…" he said, taking her hand in his.
"You're not giving me much of a choice…" she said, withdrawing her hand from him.
"I'm in love with you, Lulu…" he said suddenly.
Her bottom lip trembled and she turned around sharply to face him. She knew how hard it was for him to say the words. She closed her eyes and exhaled shakily. She believed him. She knew that he loved her. It was in the way that he looked at her, the way that he touched her with such tenderness, and in the way he kissed her. It was plain to see how he felt about her and it was clear that she loved him too… love was never their problem but it just wasn't enough.
"I know… but you love the business more…" she said.
As she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her, Lulu heard Johnny overturn the liquor cart and the sound of glass shattering. She bit her bottom lip and fought every urge to run back to him and tell him that she loved him too. She had to be strong… even though it was killing her.
"What do you mean you're leaving Port Charles?" Carly asked.
Lulu was sitting on her cousin's couch staring down at the floor. She sighed heavily and looked up at Carly and smiled wearily.
"I need to get away from this town…" Lulu said.
"You just want to get away from Johnny, that's all…" Carly said.
"Johnny isn't the only reason that I'm leaving…" Lulu said.
"But he's the main reason…" Carly pointed out.
Lulu buried her face in her hands and tried to bite back a sob. She hated being so readable. She was a coward, she knew it but she couldn't stand it but there weren't any other options. She had to get away from Port Charles. There were just too many ghosts in this town… too much stuff for a regular twenty-something year old to have had happened to her: a sporadically present father, a mother in a catatonic state, two brothers in a downward spiral and a number of failed romantic relationships.
"It doesn't matter… I need to get out of Port Charles…" Lulu said.
"Where will you go?" Carly asked.
"I have no idea… someplace far and with better weather… maybe California. I'll figure it out once I get on the road…" Lulu said.
"I don't like this idea… all of your family is here and they're not going to be thrilled with you leaving town so suddenly… and what's Johnny going to think?" Carly asked.
"I don't give a damn about what Johnny thinks… he and I are over and he doesn't need to know anything about my life." Lulu said, defensively.
"Alright… I'll let it go… but you call me the minute you decide where you're going, ok?" Carly asked.
"Ok…" Lulu muttered.
They both stood up and Carly embraced her younger cousin. Maybe this would be good for her, she thought. Maybe Lulu did need some time away from the craziness to figure out who she is and what she wants. Lulu smiled at her cousin and went to the door. Carly waved goodbye to Lulu as her car pulled out of the driveway and sped into the night.
Johnny had been calling Lulu for the past two days but she didn't pick up. He probably left at least ten messages but they all went unanswered. He trotted up the stairs to the front door at the Quartermaine
mansion. The door swung open and Johnny was greeted by Alice, the rather intimidating maid for the Quartermaines. Her eyes narrowed on Johnny and a scowl crept across her face.
"What do you want, Zacchara?" Alice growled.
"I'm looking for Lulu… is she around?" Johnny asked.
"You're too late…"
Johnny looked past Alice to see Luke Spencer, Lulu's father, standing there with his arms folded. He was flanked by his wife, Tracy Quartermaine, who looked at Johnny with pure disgust.
"What do you mean? I'm too late for what?" Johnny asked.
"Lulu's gone…" Luke said.
"Gone?" Johnny asked.
"Yes, as in she left town last night." Tracy quipped.
The words hit him like a ton of bricks. Lulu was gone and he would never get the chance to make things right. The one person who loved him, despite everything that had happened and everything that he had ever done, was gone.
"Do you know where she went?" Johnny asked.
"Yes… but she doesn't want you to find her." Luke said.
"Are you saying that or is that what Lulu wants?" Johnny asked.
"Well… let's think… you broke her heart and she went running for the hills… so I'm guessing that she doesn't want you to find her." Tracy said, matter-of-factly.
"Spanky… be nice…" Luke muttered.
"Listen… I know I screwed up with Lulu and I know that I don't deserve another chance but—" Johnny started.
"Oh save your breath, mobster boy… none of us are going to tell you where Lulu went. If she wants to talk to you… and I hope she has more sense than that… then she'll call. Now, get off of my property before I have you arrested." Tracy spat before walking back upstairs.
"You'll have to excuse the wife… she's very protective of Lulu… a mother bear instinct almost." Luke said.
Johnny nodded and turned around and walked back down towards his car. He took a long look at the vintage yellow Mustang. He remembered her walking on the side of the road when he first met her like it was yesterday. They had sat up all night talking and looking at the stars on the hood of the car. He sighed heavily as he fished his keys out of his pocket. He could barely stand to look at the car now. Everything reminded him of what he would never and could never have.