re-coding this made me vomit my own brain. O.o I hope you like it... I don't own any of the Hellsing characters, I just borrow them to suit my whimsy. I have many late fees for Herr Major.


Many wars begin with awakening. But he had a not-so-strange suspicion that his war would end with one.

The Major awoke with a gasp as icy water drenched his hair and face. He coughed and shivered, blinking the drops from his eyelashes and squinting under the bright lights. His head throbbed and his mouth tasted like blood, and he licked the water from his lips as he raised his head form his chest.

At first realization, his situation frightened him. He knew it all too well- stripped down to his undershirt and slacks, anchored, upright, to an iron frame with chains at the wrists and ankles. This was an interrogation.

It took him a few moments to recall his capture, how Alucard had killed his minions, slaughtered Dok and Hans, right before his very eyes, and defeated the Major himself as they battled for a burning London atop the Graf Zeppelin II. The Major had raised his twin machine guns to fire, but Alucard had beat him to the draw, ripping thru his shoulder with a blessed bullet and sending him off the edge of the craft. He could remember glowing red eyes, the smell of burning flesh, the feeling of falling, and nothing more.

The Major blinked away the blood that trickled down his temple. 'I am...alive?' He questioned.

'No, Major. You stopped living a long time ago.' He squinted at the shadowy silhouettes surrounding him in the dark, but he knew that voice: Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. 'I suggest you simply answer our questions, Major.'

'Or?' He grinned, throwing his head back to move his wet bangs from his eyes. His glasses had been removed.

'I will stop at nothing, Major. And I am British- you know I do not lie. I have no compassion for you.' Her tone was cool and even- this amused him. one cannot threaten with anger- it shows weakness of emotion, The Major thought.

'Ah, ethnic courage. How very Aryan of you.' The Major looked down at his bare feet and curled his toes. 'But you cannot torture me. If you vill allow me to have my own sort of courage- I am Schutzstaffel. Truth serum, electrocution, vater torture...' He shook his head. 'I answer to my fuhrer alone, und I take his secrets to the grave.' He heard uneasy shifting, but he knew it was not from Integra. There was soft whispering, and he could smell the soft aroma of cigar smoke.

'We will not play off your pride, Major,' Integra growled, 'I will not flatter you with a chance to prove your loyalty to a fallen empire.'

'Unfortunate,' The Major mused, 'You vould have gotten farther. Very vell. Let the mind games begin.'

'Do you concede to the accusations of being deeply involved with the proceedings and inhuman actions of the Millennium Organization?' The Major chuckled.

'They started it.''

'I beg your pardon?' Integra asked.

'Ja, I concede.'

'And you agree that this declaration of war is grounds for immediate execution?' Integra continued, ignoring his comment.

The hair on the back of his neck stood on end, and his maniacal grin widened. 'Say it again.'

'Say what?'

'Var. Say it again. 'declaration of Var'... that means you accepted my invitation.' He watched the bright cherry of her cigar. 'My fraulien, is this a var trial for the third vorld var? My very own Nuremberg?'

'I am asking the questions, Major,' Integra said coldly, her voice filled with disgust. 'Don't flatter yourself. Your supposed 'war' was nothing more than a freak upheaval.'

'Un upheaval that scattered the Round Table? Un upheaval that shattered the church? Un upheaval that had even your Queen fleeing before my army? Begging your pardon, Sir Hellsing, but I believe it is you whom is doing the flattering.' The Major arched his back, looking up at the hanging lap that funneled light on him. 'I give you the respect you deserve, Sir Hellsing- pray, give Millennium the same.'

'You are in no position to make demands, Major,' Integra growled. 'Thousands are dead and you are to blame. We demand answers.' He could hear her crushing out her cigar.

"Und the British Empire- if that's what you would call it, now- is in no place to demand that.' The Major replied cuttingly. 'Var is a game of cards, you see. Und you vant to see my hand, do you not?'

'The Game is over, Integra said sharply. 'It's time for you to lay down.'

'But you forget- I never play vith a full deck.' The Major chuckled. 'Very vell. My pretty fraulien, ask avay.'

'You are insane, Major?' Integra questioned.

'Qvite,' He replied contentedly.

'Psychologists believe that insanity is emotional instability. Why are you insane?' The question may have even been compassionate, but her voice hinted nothing. He had only to assume it was a 'stepping stone' question, leading to more important issues.

The Major shrugged as best he could. 'You forget that psychopaths are born, not made.'

'Psychopaths are nurtured. It starts at a young age- violent tendencies, fascinations with torture and fire, strange idiosyncrasies- all often triggered by emotional damage.' Integra lit another cigar.

He had to admit, she did her homework. 'Perhaps. I always prided myself in the fact that my accomplishments vere my own.' 'Who made you like this?' Integra said suddenly.
The Major was silent for a few moments. 'No one,' He answered at last.
'Major, do you have secrets?'

'Secrets are veaknesses. I have no veaknesses.' There was a sudden flash of pain in his mind, and he winced.


'Alucard.' The Major smirked. 'Are you trying to flush me out, like a frightened rabbit? Bad puppy.'


'You vere never one for redemption, Alucard,' The Major replied. 'Forgiveness und mercy are unknown to me. Besides, I have no secrets to tell-' He suddenly cried out as it felt like his brain were being squeezed in two. Alucard was forcing his mind open.

'You forget I know your secrets, as vell.' His body contracted as he screamed, pulling against the chains until they bruised his wrists bloody. Blood ran from his closed eyes and streamed thru his clenched teeth, spattering the cement floor.


'Enough!' Integra cried at last, and the pain was suddenly gone. The Major slumped against the chains. 'Alucard, that's enough!'

'I'll kill you,' The Major whispered, blood still dripping from his lips. 'Alucard, you perfect damnation. I vill have your heart in my hands. I svear it.' He looked up at Integra, who had stepped into the light. 'My father did this to me.'

'What?' Integra exclaimed.

'My Father. He fucked me up- in all too literal a term, unfortunately.' he politely spat the blood to his side. 'Please, excuse me... My father married an older woman under direction of our family. Let's just say they did not have much of a love life.'

'So... your father... he...' she stared at his slumped form with round eyes.

'Ja. As I am sure you did a thorough examination of my body before I regained consciousness, I'm sure you've seen the scars.' He wiped his mouth on his shoulder. 'My mother never did much for me. She couldn't- she was veak, scared... altogether useless. So... I gave her arsenic, ven I vas about ten. It had been going on for about three years, und she had done nothing. I rather enjoyed to vatch her die- und I knew that I vould kill my father next. But you vouldn't believe what happened- the crazy bastard goes and gets himself killed in a car accident, before I could get the slip into his drink. I think that my vone regret is not being there as he screamed in pain, begged God not to die... it vould have been my greatest of pleasures, truly.'

'Do you kill for him, Major?' Integra asked, her visage again growing cold. 'Do you kill because you never killed him?'

The Major laughed. 'I'm afraid it goes a bit deeper than that.'

'Are you a religious man, Major?' Someone in the shadows asked, and was suddenly silenced. It seemed he had at last caught the attention of his audience, gripping them with a morbid, forbidden fascination of what made such an estranged, violent mastermind of killers.

The Major considered for a few moments. 'I vould not say so. I am not like your late father Anderson, psychosis for ridiculously strong faith, if you vere vondering as such. I lost my faith long ago.' Integra watched him, and her eyes asked the silent question. The Major nodded obliging. 'It vas the time of the holocaust. Kristallnacht, all that, you know. If you think about it, it makes sense, really- if there vere God, vhy didn't he stop someone like me? Vould any just, caring God let someone- something- like me loose? Vouldn't God save those innocents from my torture, my sick, twisted, morbid fascinations? No, ladies and gentlemen, there is no God. Heaven, hell.. they are only vhat you make of them. Und I have shattered your endless Eden vith fire und death und pain, casting you out of your dreams, like the Adams und Eves before you that avoke to fear und anguish. I am the snake in your garden... und still you listen, vith bated ear, at my every uttering.' And the Major chuckled from deep in his throat. 'Please, pardon me, I talk far too much.' There was silence for a few moments, before Integra turned her back to the Major, and he could smell the soft, clean scent of her long, platinum hair. It was strange how he used his sense of smell, really, and he sometimes thought it stronger that his nearsighted vision. Perhaps he had inherited something from Alucard, that night.

'Leave.' Integra said suddenly. 'Everyone, out. Now.' The Major raised his eyebrows. Perhaps she would kill him, now. But he was relatively sure she wouldn't. She may not admit it, but he knew he had her thoughts.

There was shifting in the darkness, and his ears counted twelve. Had he been flattered with an inquisition by the knights of the round themselves? All the better, he knew... from now forward they would forever doubt themselves, having been in the mind of madness itself. DO I LEAVE, AS WELL, MASTER? Alucard asked uneasily.

'Yes, Alucard. I can do this myself. And... I don't want you to see me, like this.'

AS YOU WISH, MASTER. And Alucard was gone.

Sir Integra's eyes burned with hatred as she looked upon the slumped form of the Major. She stepped forward suddenly, gripping him by the hair and yanking his head back to expose his face to the light. The Major grunted with pain and squinted under the harsh light. 'So this is what you are, vermin of war,' Integra hissed. 'A dark card, an Ace of Spades, with no true threat behind his words. You are a weak, pathetic fool.'

'I am.' He answered with a soft, nearly compassionate smile. A smile of pity. 'look into my eyes, Queen of Hearts, und tell me vhat you see. Your vildcard can protect you from the truth no longer. Look into the eyes of a monster torn by years of relishing in insanity und bloodshed, und tell me vhat you see. See your fate, cruel mistress.'

The same, black pupils, expanding as if in slivers of stained glass, into midnight blue, then to brilliant sapphire, and returning to the dark of cobalt.

The same eyes as she.

Integra recoiled with a gasp of horror. 'No!' She whispered.

The Major smiled softly. 'You and I are not so different. I pity you, really.'

'No!' Integra cried. 'I will never become the beast that you are! Tell me! Tell me, why you chose me, to be your enemy!?'

The Major laughed. 'I vonder myself, sometimes. Is it love, a love of your purity? Or is it hate, for the same such reason? Or, perhaps...' he looked up, his gaze meeting hers. 'It is a vant to spoil that purity, to tear off your vings, und pull you down to me, so I vill not be alone?'

Integra stared into his eyes with contempt and disgust. 'You will always be alone, for what you have done. You truly are a disgusting man.'

The Major smiled, and he suddenly felt a tear flee down his cheek. 'Then you will be alone as vell, Red Queen?'

Her slap resounded in the dark. He blinked away the sting. 'DO NOT compare me to you,' Integra said acidly. 'DO NOT think for a moment that we are the same. You are nothing, and I will crush you as such.'

'Do you vant me to beg, then? Do you vant me to writhe to your cruel torment, dance avay from the pain you force upon me? Look inside yourself- if we are the same, then you know I would never do such a thing.' The Major answered her threat coldly. 'You fear me, because you fear yourself.'

'I fear nothing!' Integra cried. 'I am a Hellsing! We will never be the same, damned puppet of war! There is a strength in my blood that will never falter, a strength that has been passed down and tested thru generations, something a no-life Nazi freak such as yourself could never possibly understand!'

'It is not in strengths ve share a common ground, Sir Hellsing,' The Major smiled, his eyes round with madness. He was really beginning to enjoy this- it was not everyday that he got to break an angels' spirit. 'It is in veaknesses. It is in our non-existent secrets. The skeletons ve house in countless closets. A hate, a bitter longing, is vhat ve both share.'

'I killed who I hated,' Integra growled, gripping the Major's collar. 'My uncle Richard was a corrupt fool to think he could wield the power of the Hellsing. He was weak.'

'Power is vhat ve all long for, pretty Fraulien,' The Major whispered. 'Power und fulfillment. How long has it been, since that day? How many times have you vished you could go back und kill him, again und again und again, to make him suffer as you have, vith no one... no one to search out, no one to take your mind off the horrible things you have done, the horrible things you've seen? You did kill him, you pulled the trigger vithout hesitation... but vhat then? Vhat vas your resolution? Vhat, at last, killed the pain that still ached inside you?'

Integra searched his face, fearing the answer. 'Oh, god...' She whispered. 'No... absolutely not...'

The Major's smile broadened. ...You are correct, Fraulien Hellsing. The only vay to forget an old enemy... is to make a new one.'

'Did I make you forget your father?' Integra asked suddenly. 'Did I make you forget the terrible things he did to you? Did I make you forget your regret, for not watching him die?'

'You know that answer, Hellsing.'

'No,' She said, pulling a pistol from her hip holster. 'But you made it a hell of a lot easier.'

The Major sighed. 'Do you think there vill be another enemy, as good as I?'

Integra smiled briefly. 'No, Major, I don't think there will. I think, from now on, my villains will simply disappoint me, compared to you.'

'Or, perhaps,' The Major stared into her eyes. 'You vill become the villain yourself.' And he bowed his head as Integra placed the barrel to his temple. 'There's always hope for that.' Integra watched his battered, slouched form for a few moments, emotionless. A single tear suddenly fell to the floor at her feet. 'I call, Major,' She said softly. 'Lay down.'

'Damn,' He whispered, closing his eyes. 'I vas bluffing.' Integra pulled the trigger, and the world was black.