I woke up this morning with this little thought in my mind. Short, sweet,
fluffish... enjoy! All mistakes are mine. ;)
Title: That Kiss
Summary: Stirred by a kiss under the mistletoe, Harm decides to have a 'talk' with Mac. (What should have happened after "Answered Prayers.")
December 26, 2001
"Hey Harm." Mac's wearing that smile again, the one that I know she only uses for me. She seems very happy to see me considering I've dropped by, unannounced. Her smile widens and captivates me. It's a good sign, a reason for me to carry out this crazy mission I've set upon myself.
Then again, the smile doesn't quite make me act normally. Then again, I'm not thinking quite normally at the moment. "Hey, we need to talk." I practically push past her and then whirl my body towards Mac who is wearing a perplexed expression.
"Something wrong? Is it Sergei?" She fires off a those two questions and suddenly my momentum has ceased. Damnit, why does she have the power to do this to me? Mac stares with a genuinely concerned expression and the wind completely drifts off my sails. "Harm?"
I take a deep breath and let it out quickly. "Damn. . .No, nothing's wrong. . .I just. . .I needed to talk. . .about what I am not sure." I cringe at how that sounded and the fact that I said the last part of that statement out loud. God, why is this happening to me? I am normally the confident type even around Mac. But, ever since that kiss under the mistletoe on Christmas Eve. . . "Did I tell you how nice you looked at the Roberts' Christmas party?" Ugh. Talk about coming out of left field.
Mac crosses her arms in a defensive gesture, yet she wears a smile as her eye brow drifts towards her hairline. "Ah, thanks. . .You looked pretty spiffy yourself, sailor." Ah, a comment that is so like Mac and yet her tone of voice is just a bit lower, sultry even. Either that or I am losing my mind. "So? Is that what you came to say?"
"I ah. . . no. . .I just. . ." I really want to tell her how much I enjoyed that kiss. That simple, sweet kiss. Nervously, I run a hand through my hair. "I was in the neighborhood and. . ."
"You're leaving again, aren't you?"
"Leaving? What? No!" Honestly, I may not be the most eloquent of thinkers when it comes to her but. . .leaving? Me? "Why do you think that?"
"The last time you dropped by with a loss for words. . ." Mac shrugs and stares away, an act that I've come to realize it's something she does when coming up on a topic that she finds uncomfortable. "I hate to admit this but, you leaving. . .it hurt."
Had I know that I would lose that ease we shared, I'd have never gone back to flying. "I'm sorry." The apology is not nearly enough but, at least, it's genuine. "Anyway, the reason why I came here it's. . .well it's. . ."
She waves off an explanation and sets towards the kitchen with a deeply annoyed sigh. "Have a seat in the living room, I'll put a pot of coffee on."
"Damnit." I say under my breath and sigh deeply. To be fair, I don't know what to say or how to say it. I don't even know if she feels the same way about me or what I would do if she did. For so long, I've cared only about my career. Ever since Mac came into my life, I found myself making all sorts of rash decisions and came to the conclusion that my career isn't worth a damn if I don't have someone to share my triumphs with.
That kiss. That simple kiss has turned me upside down. The sad part is that it wasn't even that good; just a simple peck. The one at the Admiral's porch. . .let's not go there, Hammer.
From my spot, the same one I've been standing in since being let in, I can see Mac pulling the coffee out of the fridge. It's then that it dawns on me that the typical, verbal, logical methods may not always be the wisest. I mean, we've talked about our relationship. Talked it to death and never figured out a conclusion past the fact that we care for each other – a lot.
Words have failed me in the past. They failed me in Sydney, a conversation that I've replayed to death in my mind. Even worse was my chance when Mic was gone and I was left to console her. I loved Mac then and love her even more now. Maybe it's time just to put the words to rest and show her just how desirable I believe she is.
Mission renewed, I charge past the dining room and into the kitchen. The charge causes a mid-kitchen collision and an empty coffee pot flies out of Mac's hand and breaks into a billion pieces on the floor. In that split second, before she has a chance to blame the accident on me, I take Mac into my arms and kiss her deeply.
I expect her to push me away. After all, we are friends. Best friends but, just friends. To my surprise I feel her hands snake up my spine and up behind my neck, pushing my lips more forcefully on her own. We kiss as if our lives depended on it and it's only a slight movement of my boots on her floor that make me realize she's barefoot and standing amongst shattered glass.
Without breaking contact I raise Mac up and sit her on the counter. When we break apart, Mac has a silly, drowsy expression, the same one I am likely wearing. She licks her lips, an act that makes me want to kiss her again, so I do, just a soft peck this time which Mac returns. "I've been wanting to kiss you again since Christmas Eve." I finally admit and wonder why it was so hard to put into words.
She bites her lower lip and nods in agreement. "Me too. . . I mean, it was nice but. . ." Turning her head to the side, Mac gives me a cute knowing look. "Is that what you came to tell me?"
"Yeah. . .I uh. . .I also came to tell you that. . . that I love you." I shift under the uncomfortable scrutiny of her eyes, my feet crunching on the glass. I glance down, suddenly aware of the potential hazard to Mac's bare feet. "Oh, let me get that." As I try to move, Mac wraps her legs around my waist and hooks her ankles behind my back. "Mac?"
"I love you too. . .In fact, I've loved you for a very, very, very, very long time." Her hands move under my jacket and soon it's on the floor with the glass. "Ooops." There's a mischievous gleam in her eyes which I notice are starting to haze over. "Forget the glass. . . Take me to bed."
I almost collapse in sheer joy as the weight over my heart disappears. "You're sure?"
She leans forward and places soft kisses around my mouth before settling her lips on my own. "Very sure."
"We. . . have. . .waited. . .too long." I rasp out between kisses and make my way across her apartment and towards the bedroom with Mac still wrapped around my body. We drop together onto her bed and Mac rolls herself on top of me. "I do love you, Mac but, I'm on top." I roll her back over and settle myself comfortably between her legs.
To my chagrin, she doesn't argue merely cradles my body as we resume a series of hot kisses. "We'll take turns being on top, I'm sure."
Top. Bottom. As long as Mac is in my life, I really don't care where I am. As we start to rid ourselves of our clothing my mind travels briefly to Christmas Eve and that kiss.