Pairing: Luke/Asch x Guy
Summary: Luke, with hands on his hips and a serious expression on his face, leaned forward and growled, "So tell him, Guy. Tell this idiot here that it's me you like, not him."
A/N: I wrote this for the Tales of Kink Meme on LJ a lil' while ago. Of course, since no one can be more pathetic than me, I was re-reading it just today, and I was like 'Hey, why not?'. So I uploaded it here. I have no shame. -snickers- One-shot, of course, idiotic-ness to be expected.

Which One of Us?

So, it was all ready apparent to Guy that this was bound to happen–sooner or later. He just wished it would have happened, you know, later. Like, next year or something.

So here the two were, Asch and Luke, standing before him with the most severe looks on their faces, demanding an answer. Guy gave them his usual 'Oh Lorelei, please save me' laugh and rubbed the back of his head.

"So tell him, Guy," Luke started, leaning forward with his hands on his hips. "Tell this idiot here that you like me and not him."

Okay, so when did Luke get like this? Not too long ago, he was all for making 'nice' with his original, and now he's calling him an idiot?

"Oh please." Asch simply scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I don't even know why I'm even bothering myself with something so trivial." He was about to turn away and–most likely–stomp off and leave, but Luke's snort made him stop.

"Because you know what the answer's going to be, that's why."

Guy coughed a little and looked around, scanning the room for the quickest exit possible. Not likely: they were in an inn room (Damn you to hell, Jade), a small inn room at that, and the only way out was the door located in the front. You know, the place Asch and Luke were currently blocking.

Asch, who had remained frozen since Luke had opened his stupid mouth, finally turned–very, very slowly–and glared at his replica. He had just taken the most obvious and over-used bait ever; score one for Luke.

"Really," Asch sneered, lowering his eyelids somewhat. "Is that...what you really think?"

Guy didn't like how he'd stressed his words, he didn't like it at all. But his Luke, being...well, his Luke, only grinned and tilted his head back in the most arrogant manner ever.

"Oh...I don't think, Asch, I know."

Oh snap.

Without saying a word, face directed at the (former) blond servant, Asch stalked over to the older man and stopped in front of him, glaring up with the most scariest look in his eyes. Before Guy could question why he was being stared at in that way, Asch's hands shot forward and grasped his collar.

Wee-irrd.

No, actually, what was really weird was when Asch yanked him closer and...and...

Well, to say the very least, kissed him.

And it wasn't the, 'Let me prove my point and get it over with quickly' kiss. No, it was one of those, 'Rue the day' kisses. Like really rue the day–'I really wish I didn't say that', and all.

Asch had removed one of his hands from Guy's collar, and was now gripping–not 'lovingly cupping'–his (former) servant's chin, and deepened the kiss. Tilting his head slightly, the redhead was now more forceful (and...probably more brazen), using his tongue to swipe quickly against the other's lips. And, foolishly, Guy immediately granted him access.

...Hm, when had that wall gotten behind him?

And there was that ever-present...presence of Luke's labored breathing in the background, which he almost distinguish over their own (they were that loud)...

So, the 'hot' kissing, the extreme tongue action and major roaming of hands, lasted for a good...eh, ten minutes? Give or take a few, of course–but it was probably more of 'give' than 'take'. Finally, FINE-NULL-E , Asch pulled away, his face completely smug and triumphant; this completely contrasted Guy, who was flushing madly.

Score one...no, score thirteen hundred thousand, six hundred and fifty-five points for Asch.

"I think you know your answer..." Asch murmured as he sauntered over to his replica, patting his cheek. And, not bothering to look back at Guy, the douchebag strolled out of the room, probably off to go and be an ass somewhere else.

Oh snap, Luke fon Fabre just got owned.

"...How come you never kiss me like that, Guy?"

The world may never know.