No secrets

Just a little one-shot I thought of. I warn you, it's slash so if you don't like it, don't bother reading this. There's nothing more pathetic than someone who hates slash and reads it anyway just so he can flame it.

This is my first attempt at slash, but I don't really think it's that different from het, the only dif is both members of the relationship have family jewels.

This is also my first fic that does not star Remus Lupin. I never thought this moment would come. I'm waiting for it to rain frogs at any moment now.

James Sirius Potter was on a mission. A dangerous mission. Failing it would mean unthinkable consequences. Imagine being grounded for two, perhaps even three weeks! All because his mother mistook his kindness and selflessness for prying.

But the risk was worth it. James had to safe his little brother from the slimy, sneaky little git that was Scorpius Malfoy. Really, Albus should know better than to pick Malfoy as a friend. And right now they were up in Albus's bedroom and Scorpius was probably already filling Albus's innocent head with evil and misleading thoughts.

Something had to be done!

"Mum told you to stop bothering them," Lily warned her big brother.

"Bothering who?" James asked innocently.

Lily rolled her eyes. She was eleven, not an idiot. Did her brother really think even for a second that he could hide anything from her?

"Just leave Albus and Scorpius alone," Lily said. "Albus is getting really annoyed and I don't want to have to get between you two again. Stopping arguments between their siblings is supposed to be the middle child's job."

"He just doesn't know better," James said. "He'll thank me when this is over."

"Why do you hate Scorpius so much anyway?"

"I hate Malfoy this much because he's a slimy, evil little git."

"Right. And this wouldn't have anything to do with him being a better seeker than you?"

"Are you implying I'm jealous?"

"No, I'm saying it."

James huffed.

"You just don't understand," he said. "Scorpius is evil, and I'm going to prove it."

"And how, oh darling brother of mine, are you going to do that?" Lily asked.

"That's classified information," James said. "And where did you learn to be so cheeky?"

"Scorpius," Lily said and smirked, knowing it would annoy her brother.

"See?! That git has already spoiled you. I'm not going to let him spoil Albus to."

"They've been best friends since they first met," Lily pointed out. "It's a little bit late to be worrying about Scorpius spoiling him."

"Better late than never."

"I still say this is just because Scorpius beat you for the Quidditch cup," Lily muttered. "You didn't start obsessing about Scorpius being a bad influence until then."

"I just need someone who can sneak into Albus's bedroom and set up a recorder in there without Albus or the slimy git noticing," James said, ignoring Lily. "That way I can provide some solid evidence to what Malfoy is really up to."

"Why don't you just use Extendable ears?" Lily asked.

"I already tried that," James said. "But Albus found out about it."

"How are you going to get a recorder in there then?"

James looked at Lily.

"No," Lily said. "I mean it. I'm not helping you spy on our brother!"

"I'll pay you," James offered.

"How much?"

Five minutes later

Lily knocked on Albus's door.

"Go away James," Albus said.

"It's me," Lily said.

"Oh. Wait a second."

Albus opened the door.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"I just wanted to say hi," Lily said. "Can I come in?"

Before Albus had a chance to reply, Lily slid in past Albus.

"Uh, come on in," Albus said.

"Hi Scorpius," Lily said.

"Hi Lily," Scorpius replied and smiled. Lily smiled back, feeling a bit guilty for helping her brother spy on them. But she needed those ten galleons to buy that cool invisible ink she had been saving for.

Lily plopped herself on Albus's bed next to Scorpius.

"How's it going?" She said conversationally.

"Good," Albus said. "Is there anything particular you wanted to talk about?"

"Nope," Lily said. She picked up one of Albus's pillows and put it in her lap. "Why? Do you want to get rid of me so badly?"

"That's not what I.." Albus said, but Lily cut him off.

"How long are you staying this time Scorpius?" Lily asked.

"Uh, I'm staying over until next Monday," Scorpius replied.

"Hmm," Lily said. She grabbed an ink bottle sitting on the bed. "Why?"

"I'm just visiting," Scorpius said confused. "Why do you ask?"

"Just talking," Lily said. Suddenly she dropped the ink bottle and it fell onto the floor, breaking and spilling ink all over the floor. Thankfully it had been almost empty.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Albus," she said. "I'll clean it up."

"No, it's okay," Albus said and started picking up the broken shards. Scorpius bent down to help him and Lily snuck the recorder under the pillow's cover. Then she put the pillow back in its place.

"Well, this has been swell," she said. "But I really must get going. I hope to see you gentlemen soon for tea."

She skipped into the hallway, whistling. The easiest ten galleons she had ever earned.

"I think she's spent too much time around aunt Luna," Albus said and Scorpius chuckled.

The next day, while Scorpius and Albus were outside playing Quidditch, James and Lily snuck into Albus's room to retrieve the recorder.

"Let's see what that sneak has been up to," James said evilly and rewound the tape. Lily stood next to him, she never could pass on a chance to eavesdrop on her brothers.

"I think she's spent too much time around aunt Luna," Albus's voice said. They heard Scorpius chuckle.

"Anyway, should we get back to what we were doing?"

They heard either of them shut the door, then some rustling.

"Are you sure there are no Extendable ears anywhere?" Scorpius said, much nearer this time. Clearly they had moved onto the bed again.

"I don't think so. I don't think my brother is stupid enough to try that again after what mum did last time."

"I don't know. Your brother isn't exactly the brightest."

James blushed angrily. Lily giggled. For a couple of seconds there were no sounds. Then some more rustling. Suddenly there was a weird noise. Something James would normally associate with kissing, but that couldn't be, because Albus and Scorpius were the only people that could be in the room.


James's eyes bulged. No way his brother had just moaned Scorpius's name. He glanced at Lily to see if she had heard it too, and sure enough his sister looked just as shocked as he felt. More kissing sounds and some pants and moans.

"Ack! Don't do that!" Albus's said. "Your hand is really cold."

"Sorry," Scorpius said apologetically. "Is that better?"

"Mmm." Albus moaned.

James shut of the tape. He had heard enough.

"Was that…were they…" Lily said shocked. "I mean.. wow!"

"There's no way they could have been…" James said.

"Kissing?" Lily supplied. "Snogging? Smacking lips? And possibly more…"

"No," James said. "It can't be!"

"Let's see," Lily said and turned on the tape again.

"Mmm," Albus continued moaning. "M- wait! There's something lumpy here."

Some rustling.

"A recorder?" Scorpius said.

"James," Albus growled. "Should have known Lily wouldn't come barging in here for no reason."

"Hello Potter," Scorpius said. "In case you're wondering, I just had my tongue down your brother's throat and my hand up his shirt. And also, I'm doing some very naughty things to his…"


"What? He started."

"I'll just turn it off. Leave it for James to find. Hopefully he'll be traumatized enough to leave us alone from now on."

There the tape ended. Lily snorted from repressed laughter.

"You think this is funny?" James asked her.

"Yes, kind of," Lily said. She giggled. "I wonder if dad knows about this."

"He knows," a voice said from the doorway. Lily and James froze. Busted. "Although I didn't have to quite as far as bug Albus's room to find out."

"How did you find out?" Lily asked.

"Neville told me," Harry said. "He found them snogging in one of the greenhouses."

"I can't believe it!" Lily said. "You didn't tell us!"

"It wasn't any of your business," Harry said. "Albus wanted to tell you himself. When James had gotten over Scorpius beating him to the snitch."

"Hey!" James said indignantly. "That's not… I'm not.. I'm not jealous!"

"And you're alright with this?" Lily asked her father.

"It's Albus's choice," Harry shrugged. "It's not my job to run my children's lives. That's your mother's job."

Albus and Scorpius picked that moment to walk into the room.

"Hi Albus, Scorpius," Lily said and grinned evilly. Suddenly a whole new world of blackmailing was open to her.

"Oh, so you listened to the tape?" Scorpius asked.

"You had your tongue down his throat!" James suddenly exclaimed.

"And you had your nose in our business," Albus said angrily. "Believe me, if I wasn't afraid my broom would break, I would have beaten your head in with it already."

"But-but he had his hand up your shirt!" James said shocked.

"Oh, you're one to talk," Albus said. "Remember Fiona Sullivan?"

"Fiona Sullivan?" Lily asked.

"That was different," James said. "And you swore never to mention that again! How would you like it if I told people about the exploding toilets?"

"That was you?!" Lily half-shouted.

"Well, I…" Albus said awkwardly. "James was the one who got all the house elves drunk last year!"

"At the least I didn't hex the Ravenclaw doorknob to only tell knock-knock jokes," James countered.

"And who was it who made all of Hagrid's pumpkins tap-dance?"

"Ahem," Harry coughed in a very Umbridge-like way. James and Albus froze.

"W-what I meant to say is, I'm sorry I bugged your room Albus, I won't ever do it again," James said.

"Apology accepted," Albus said. "Shall we scram?"

"Lets," James said and the two brothers rushed out the door, leaving Harry, Lily and Scorpius behind.

"They're so grounded for this, aren't they?" Lily asked.

"They're looking at five, six years," Harry agreed. "If Ginny ever finds out."

"You're not going to…" Lily said.

"You think any of this is news to me?" Harry said. "Give your old man a little credit."

With that he walked out.

"No secrets in your family," Scorpius said.

"Nope," Lily agreed. "Not for long anyway."

Sorry for the crappy ending. I didn't know how to end it, so I just cut it off. Please review!