Temari's Obsession with the Internet

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto. I also do not own the term Gaara of the Funk and the concept that Rock Lee is Canadian. Those belong to the awesome people MASAKOX and Vegeta3986 (now Vegeta8639) that are on YouTube and made Naruto Abridged.

It was a normal day in the Hidden Village of the Sand. People threw dirt at one another. Books were thrown at little academy students. Just your regular day.

Kankuro was on the Internet when Temari plopped on the couch. He turned to her. " Hey, Temari. What's up ? "

" Bad day. Got an F in English. I threw my math book at that fat guy, Kaba, but it didn't help my mood out, " Temari replied.

Kankuro sighed and dug his hand into a bag of Doritoes. He started to chomp on a chip noisily. " Hey, I'm getting off the computer for awhile. Want to check out your mail, Temari ? "

Temari rolled her eyes and scoffed. " You know I never get mail, Kankuro. "

" What about YouTube ? " Kankuro asked.

" What's YouTube ? "

Kankuro gasped. " You honestly don't know what YouTube is ? Whoa, what a dork. "

The boy shook his head in disgust as he typed a website out and entered it. The YouTube logo was in the upper left corner, as usual. Kankuro then turned to Temari. " This is YouTube, the best website of all mankind. And if you don't know what YouTube is, you are not a citizen of the Hidden Village of the Sand at all ! "

Temari put a hand to her forehead. " I bet you can't download Utadu Hikaru songs on there ! "

" Hell yeah, you can ! "

A click was heard, and a bunch of videos featuring Utadu Hikaru popped up on the screen. Temari gasped with astonishment. " Wow ! The Internet is really cool ! "

Kankuro gave a wicked grin. " I told you so. Now, why don't you and Maven get a bit more accquainted with each other ? "

" Maven ? That's a gay name. "

" Hey, don't disrespect my girlfriend ! "

O.o " Yeah...you can leave now... "

Kankuro nodded and slowly left with his bag of Doritoes. Temari sat down in the wooden chair and slowly clicked over a pop - up ad. " No f--king way. I got a free Apple iPhone ?! Sweet. "

She clicked the ad again and bold words flashed on the screeen :


The blonde haired girl shrugged. " I don't know what spamming is, so it doesn't concern me. "

Three hours later, Temari was still on the computer in a chatroom. Gaara came in and poked the chair. " I need to check my mail, Temari. "

" Oh, go to hell, Gaara of the Funk. "

-boomch-boomch-boomch-boomch- Gaara of the Funk !!

-.- " Stop disrespecting the funk and let me get on, Temari ! "

" Never ! "

Gaara stomped his foot. " I'm going to be the Fifth Kazekage in Shippuden, though ! And I'm going to be killed by the emo Akatsuki members for my pwning demon ! Let me get on noooow ! "

-flips off Gaara!-

" Fine ! I'll go to the library where they have those crappy Gateway computers ! I hope you're happy, Temari ! I won't be able to see any nudies ! "

" You don't even look at nudies ! You look at Chiyo and Sasori ! "

-.- " I hate you. "

Gaara left in a huff. Temari continued to surf the Internet. Meanwhile, Kankuro, with a pillow in his hand, glared at Temari. " I think you should get off so I can watch YouTube some more. "

" Nobody gives a damn about what you think, Puppet Master ! "

" Stupid whore ! "

" Dumb, gay fat - ass ! "

The two teenagers started to fight each other. Both of them were getting hurt, but suddenly the computer exploded.

o.o (Temari)

O.O (Kankuro)

Kankuro suddenly held the computer in his arms and started to bawl his eyes out. Temari gave an agitated sigh. " We can always go to the Leaf Village and see if we can bum off some of the Internet. "



X.X (Kankuro)

Temari slowly walked away from the corpse. " God, this has got to be the third time he's killed himself this month. "


Shikamaru opened the door to find Temari. She grinned. " Oh, hi my 'deer' friend, Shikamaru. Oh, I was just walking around the neighborhood..."

T.T " Uh, you live in the Sand Village, Temari. It's kinda suspicious to see you like...here. "

" Uh-huh ! "

Shikamaru pounded his fist on the door. " Damn it, Temari ! Why are you here ?! "

" I need to get on the Internet. "

" Uh, the Internet is not a necessity for survival. Either you need to do some sorta research project, or you have an obsession with the Internet. "

Temari gasped. " I am not obsessed, you little inu (dog) ! I just need to use it, that's all. "

Shikamaru shook his head. " Come with me, Temari. I will show you everything that you need to know...in my bedroom since everything else looks like a dump. "

" Yeah..."

" Just come with me. "

Temari stepped inside of Shikamaru's house. The lazy (yet intelligent) boy shoved her inside his room. It had a square window above a green chest. Seven Chunin uniforms were lined up in the closet, which was slightly open. A picture of Linkin Park was above an unmade bed. A coat rack also stood next to it. Temari sweatdropped as Shikamaru gestured her to sit on the bed. She did so, and Shikamaru sat next to her. " Temari...now what possessed you to be obsessed with the computer ? "

" Uh, my suicidal brother. "

" Which ome ? "

" The one that always wears that dorky hoodie and purple makeup. "

" Ah, Kankuro. Yeah, he's gay. "

" I know. "

Shikamaru sighed. " Okay, either you give up your obsession, or I will shoot you with my shotgun. "

O.o " Okay, I'll quit. "

" Good. Now get the hell out of my house. "

" Sure. I know an alternative - batting cages. "

(One week later...)

" Hey, Temari ? " Gaara asked. " Um, you know you can get out of the batting cages any time soon, okay ? Any time ? You've been in there for a week now. "

" Shut up, Gaara of the Funk ! "

-boomch-boomch-boomch-boomch- GAARA OF THE FUNK ! :)

" You know what ?! I'm just going to see if I can kill that Canadian guy Rock Lee again. You can go to hell, Temari. "

" I'm already there, Gaara. I'm already there. "