Title: The Dish

Author: Squidgeesushi

Rating: PG because I used the word "damned"

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach I'd not be here writing fanfiction. So no, I do not own Bleach, I do not own Nanao-chan or Ukitake and as much as I would like to own Shunsui, I do not own him either. How tragic.

A/N: Written for a challenge I ran over at livejournal's ShunsuixNanao community last year. Apologies if this doesn't make any sense. It made sense in my head, but that in itself should be a warning sign.

Summary: Nomenclature can be a tricky thing, especially when Kyouraku Shunsui is involved.

o O o

The Dish

"Oh Jyuu-chan, I feel so lost. How in the Seireitei am I supposed to cope after such a loss?".

A pink flowered haori topped with an oversized hat seemed to be talking.

Silence answered.

"I don't know how I can go on! It's as though a huge piece of my heart has just been ripped out. I can't breathe, I can't eat. Heck, I can't even sleep."

Yet again, the silence answered.

"In fact, I can't even DRINK. Do you realise the seriousness of this, Jyuu?"

Once more, silence reigned in response to the talking pink haori.

A hand emerged from within the haori and lifted the hat, reavealing the sombre-looking face of one Kyouraku Shunsui.

"Jyuu-chan, are you even listening to me?

"No."

"Do you even care?"

"Not particularly."

The pink haori made a sniffing sound. "How can you be so cold?! This is Nanao we're talking about. Nanao."

"Yes I know that. Your point?"

"My point is that Nanao is gone and you don't even care!" Shunsui shook his head in disgust. "I don't know where my best friend went, but he damn sure isn't here."

Jyuushirou rolled his eyes. "Oh for pity's sake, Shunsui, get over it. You know you're overreacting. Nanao is easily replacable."

"She is not!" Shunsui argued, shocked that his best friend could say such a thing. He sighed and looked wistfully over to the desk of his Vice-Captain which, aside from being piled over a metre high with overdue paperwork, was littered with inkwells, brushes and even a few pieces of broken pottery.

Jyuushirou sighed too. "Honestly Shun, just pull yourself together and get over yourself. You're being petty."

"I am not." Shunsui groused.

"Yes, you are." Ukitake countered

"Am not."

"You are."

"Am not."

"You are"

"Not."

"Are."

"Not."

"Are."

"No-"

"SHUT UP!!"

The two men stopped their bickering and turned guiltily towards the Nanao's desk, the apparent source of the shouting. The stack of papers wobbled as the face of the angry Eighth division Vice-Captain appeared over the top of them, glowering.

"For goodness sake, if you two are going to fight then do it elsewhere. Unlike you, some of us are actually trying to work here, so please for the love of everything good and right, be quiet."

Shunsui stared guiltily at his subordinate. "But, Nanao-chan..."

Shunsui had barely opened his mouth before Nanao rounded on him. "And YOU, sir, had better stop whinging or else I'll give you something else to whinge about. I'm sorry that you broke your favourite sake dish - really, I am - but you have been complaining about it for two whole weeks and thanks to you I now have almost a month's worth of backlogged paperwork to clear. So if you don't mind, I would greatly appreciate it if you would either help me with the work or just leave the office until I'm done."

Shunsui felt approximately two feet tall by this point, and it was with a meek voice that he answered "Yes, Nanao-chan."

"Oh, and Taichou?"

"Mm?"

"When you buy your new sake dish? Please do me the favour of not naming it after me."

A smirk crept onto Shunsui's face. "Are you certain, Nanao? You know, its quite an honour for one's Captain to -"

THUD

The Vice-Captain of the eighth division turned on her heels and stalked out the door, a large stack of paperwork clutched under one arm and an irritated expression etched into her face.

Her Captain's eyes followed her as she departed, one hand absentmindedly rubbing the spot on his head where Nanao's projectile inkwell had just hit.

He couldn't see what the big deal was, really. After all, he had named his sake dish – an object he held in extremely high esteem – after his dear Nanao-chan. Surely she knew what a compliment that was.

In fact, he was quite certain that the only reason Nanao didn't want him naming his new sake dish after her as well was because of the rumours it would cause throughout the Gotei 13.

Shunsui smiled to himself, the next course of action crystal clear in his mind.

He was definitely naming his new sake dish "Nanao".

FIN