Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the Pacifier or it's characters or it's plot though I do wish I owned a certain someone :p I own my O

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the Pacifier or it's characters or it's plot though I do wish I owned a certain someone :p I own my OC's and my ideas for this fanfic. My first fic for this movie so take it easy on me !! Flamers I know you're out there, I'll ignore you but constructive criticism is welcomed. Always looking forward to Reviews to know I'm doing a decent job! I hope you enjoy

Alexandria's P.O.V. (She is not a mary sue!! She has issues like all of us, I hope I make this as realistic as possible I'm using part of my experience and some movies!)


Everything was way better when dad was around, way simpler. I can remember every detail of the day we found out…

The day we found out he'd been murdered.

3 gunshot wounds, one it the leg, one in the chest and the last in his head. Being woken up at 2:30 in the morning by the sound of a doorbell ringing, Glancing briefly outside my window to see those black and white care whose light were flashing brightly. I heard my mom answers the door before hearing her cry. My stomach dropped, my mouth went dry and I could hear my heart beating loudly. I felt tears prick my eyes and I let them fall freely, I let them take over me.

My FATHER was dead, But I'd already known what had happened since I had been woken up, a knot in my stomach. I cried the rest of the night, replaying memories of hi over and over again trying to convince myself he was alive and well but I still knew tomorrow he wasn't going to be coming home, give me a forehead or tell me how much he loved me.

So I prepared myself for the next morning when my mother told my family the news. Oh GOD!! My family, they'll be so lost, so helpless to this tragedy! At that moment I knew I had to become slightly emotionless, have a hard edge, I was the oldest it was my responsibility to care for my family…wasn't it? I had to try to help do what I could, I can't let my family fall apart!! I have to stay strong even when hey fall.

At 9:30 my mom gathered us around to tell us the news, I didn't cry as I promised myself. I had to stay strong, I let a few tears fall as I hugged my family with my mother and I told one the rest of our family it would be okay. I had never seen my family so torn apart, it hurt just to watch.

I knew things wouldn't be okay but I said it for their sake only. A half of me was missing. Ever since I was born my father and I have a had such a deep connection, we were so in tuned so one another, It was powerful and I love it, but now that was gone, I felt so lost and helpless but I didn't show it.

Keeping my emotions in check was so difficult, I had to stay strong take my mind off dad. I silently cried myself to night for a while but I mainly had the worst nightmares where I woke up screaming, it happened almost every night.

Around this time Zoe started hating me for keeping my emotions in check, we used to have a terrific relationship like best friends but she changed. My younger blonde 17 year old sister hated me now. Seth my 15 year old brother with mousy brown hair understood and respected my decision as did my blonde mother. My annoying brunette 11 year old sister respected my choice but pushed to know why I wasn't sad. All Peter knew was that daddy was gone and Tyler had no idea what was going on.

I've been helping my mother 24/7 with Peter and Lulu and a bit with Tyler, When I had time I talked with Seth, but my mom mainly handled Tyler, Zoe and Seth she relied on me to take care of Peter and Lulu. Ever since our nanny quit I had to help out so much.

I've barely been able to do what I wanted or needed to. Honestly everyday since dad I've been dying a little each day struggling to do what was the right thing, stay strong and be there for my family.

In the end it'd probably end up killing me…