Party at the tavern


Lady Razeli

Disclaimer: I do own Xena or Hercules they belong to someone else.

"Where do you think you're going to worship the Gods?" Torres asked noticing his mother's conservative dress, she was going out on a date. He didn't want to go, but he had his own reasons for being understanding.


"You're going on a date mother go change and nothing that conservative," Torres told her. She went to go change. Xena said nothing Torres having said it all. Gabrielle sat on the other side of the table.

"I think your dress is cute Cyrene," Gabrielle told her as she went upstairs.

"Thank you Gabrielle," Cyrene said.

"Remember mother you're not going for cute!" Xena called after her.

"Xena, Torres what Cyrene had on was absolutely fine."

"No it wasn't." Cyrene came back down a few minutes later in a dress that was conservative enough not to make her parents freak out if she were a teenager and revealing enough to satisfy her date if they were going out with family.

"Oh I'm sorry when did you mention Grandpa was coming because that's what that outfit says."

"You couldn't have said it better Xena," Torres told her from his seat on the bar. " I mean my God do you really want the man to think you still need your father to babysit you."

"You guys are cold and harsh, Cyrene what you're wearing is fine."

"No its not, the goal is to get laid, not tell him you're looking to get married." Torres nodded.

"They're right Gabrielle, you know normally I'd agree, but I do have a goal in mind." Cyrene went upstairs. Xena and Torres looked at each other in annoyance wanting their mother to hurry and for her date to arrive. Finally Cyrene entered the room again.

"Oh that's just great," Xena said.

"What you like it?" Cyrene asked.

"No," Torres said. "Cyrene if you don't get upstairs and change out of that…that cloth you're going to be grounded young lady." Xena took on a equally parental tone.

"Young lady that has less material than my battle dress, so what gave you the idea that I would even allow you to set a foot outside in that? Do you want him and the whole village to think you're a whore?"

"No," Cyrene said taken aback a little by their parental tones especially Xena in particular who sounded just like her.

"March young lady we're not gonna tell you again," Torres said pointing upstairs. Cyrene went upstairs not knowing what else to do.

"I mean can you believe her, think she can just walk out of the tavern with no clothes on?" She heard Xena say to Torres.

"Perfect," They said together just as there was a knock on the tavern door and her date entered.

"You look gorgeous, Cyrene," He said drinking the sight of her in.

"Thank you." It was a few minutes before they left.

"Gabrielle make sure my mother is gone."


"Just do it." Gabrielle did so.

"They're gone."

"Good, okay everybody she's gone!" Ares, Aphrodite, and Cupid appeared along with all their friends. Hercules and Iolaus carried in a medium sized tub full of water skins filled with wine or port. Solari, Ephiny, and Eponin walked into the room.

"We bought the bottle!" Ephiny called. There was cheering as Autolycus walked in followed by Iphicles and finally Lila.

"Lila?" Gabrielle asked. Lila however was already half drunk and ignored her sister.

"All right everybody sit in a circle boy girl," Xena directed as they all cleared a large area of tables.

"Gabrielle come on!" Aphrodite called. Gabrielle sat next to her confused and Torres sat between them. Xena had placed herself between Iolaus in Autolycus with Hercules directly in front of her, Cupid on her left and Ares to her right to better her chances at kissing either one of them.

"What are we doing?" Gabrielle asked.

"Playing spin the bottle," Torres told her.

"But your sister is in the circle, my sister is in the circle," Gabrielle cried.

"Hey, hey there will be none of that, if I can kiss my brother, Xena can kiss hers," Aphrodite said. Xena and Torres made a face. "No complaining the rules are you gotta kiss on the lips a real kiss not a peck."

"But what if it's another girl?" Gabrielle asked. Everyone laughed.

"All the more fun."

"And if it's another guy."

"Definitely all the more fun," The women said and the guys frowned.

"Hey if we do it you have too," Xena said giving them a warning look. They all silently agreed.

"I don't want to play."

"Gabs stop being a party pooper and play," Lila whined.

"Do Mom and Dad know you're here?"

"Of course not they'd never approve."

"Enough talking and more spinning!" Aphrodite exclaimed. "Ephiny spin the bottle to see who goes first." Ephiny put the bottle in the middle and spinned. Everyone held their breath as they watched the bottle finally slow to a stop on Xena.


"Okay Xena you're up." Xena leaned forward displaying her cleavage to all and giving a nice view of her butt. She wasn't dressed in her typical battle dress, but a tight little outfit that displayed most of her assets if in the right position.

"No cheating either Ares," Xena told him.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Ares told her with a smirk.

"I'm watching you Ares, it'll be no fun if every time she spins it lands on you or vice-versa," Aphrodite told him. Xena spinned the bottle and backed up. Everyone watched as the bottle slowed to a stop on a very happy Solari. They both crawled forward and without hesitation French kissed for a little longer than necessary among chants of kiss and cheering.

"My turn," Solari said. She spun and to her surprise it landed on Aphrodite.

"Yes!" She and Aphrodite kissed among cheers. Aphrodite spinned next it landed on Cupid shocking everyone.

"Kiss!" Xena started the chant. Aphrodite and Cupid shrugged and kissed keeping it very brief.

"Okay Cupid its your turn," Torres told him. Cupid spinned and the bottle landed on Xena. Cupid had cheated, but no one noticed. They kissed and Xena once again managed to keep her cool after kissing a God. Xena spinned again this time she was responsible for make it land on Hercules. They kissed before he spinned and it landed on Ares.

"Kiss or play Seven minutes in Elysian fields starting with both of you," Xena warned. They reluctantly kissed inspiring cheers and jokes from everyone else. Ares spinned and made land on Xena. He happily got the taste of his brother out of his mouth to replace it with Xena's.

"Hmmm you taste like Hercules," Xena commented just to piss him off making everyone laugh except Hercules and Ares.

"Spin again Xena," Cupid urged. Xena spun aiming for Autolycus this time who had remained untouched, but to her horror it landed on Torres. They both groaned.

"Kiss or seven minutes in Elysian fields together," Ares told her. They both kissed very briefly.

"No, no I had to French Kiss Cupid and Hercules had to French kiss Ares, so you gotta French kiss each other." They groaned and did so reluctantly just as their mother walked in.

"Holy shit," Ares said as everyone fell silent.

"Um… this isn't what it looks like," Xena said pulling back from her brother as he too pulled back look nervous and embarrassed.

"Than tell me what I'm looking at because it looks to me like you were just kissing your brother."

"We were playing spin the bottle and there were no exceptions to the rules and….Gabrielle made us do it!"

"Gabrielle organized this whole thing," Torres told her.

"Yep she's the brains behind all this, that's why she checked to make sure you were gone when you left," Hercules added.

"Yeah, we all actually thought we were having you know a little book club meeting and Gabrielle turned it into this spin the bottle party," Aphrodite said. Ares made books appear in everyone's hand except Gabrielle's.

"See," Lila said looking sober and holding up her book. She had no problem blaming her sister.

"Gabrielle how could you now you march upstairs right now this instant young lady while I write a letter to your parents about your behavior." She pulled Gabrielle by the ear protesting to the stairs while everyone let out a breath.

"Nice save." They nodded and told Cyrene they were going to go to the library, but they went back to Aphrodite's temple to finish the game and play truth or dare and Seven minutes in the Elysian fields before Xena, Hercules, Ares, and Cupid ended the night with an orgy in Ares temple.

The End