For Nikkirenzo 59's Challenge. RULE: Everyone has to be human.

Now, I wouldn't normally write an all-human story, like ever, but I have been thinking about an idea lately, this idea. I couldn't get it to work though. Then Nikkirenzo 59 came up with this challenge, and I was like…it could so work!

And by the way, this is in no way like all the other 'Bella is pregnant' stories. It is going to be infinitely different in the end.

So here ya go!


I don't own it!

(P.S. – The whole story will be in Bella's point of view unless I specify otherwise.)

(P.S.S.- And yes, this is ANOTHER angst story. I know, I know! Don't hate me for always writing sad stuff! And although this is a humorous happy story for the first…long while, it is not a happy story. Just letting you all know that ahead of time.)

"Bella? Bella honey, are you okay? You have been in there for over an hour."

I covered my ears and tried to block out my husband's feeble attempts to get me to come out. You would think he would have received the message by now. Wife doesn't answer the door, wife doesn't want to talk. But no, he kept pounding on the bathroom door and shouting at me to get out.

"Bella, please!" Edward begged. "You ran in there immediately after you got home from the store. What are you doing?"

I looked down at the little device on the floor, the evil device, the device that was trying to ruin my life.

The device that told me I was pregnant.

Don't get me wrong. I have always wanted kids. Seeing the 'positive' on the test made me jump for joy…until I thought of Edward.

What would he think? Would he be happy? Would he be sad, mad, glad, joyful? So many questions ran through my head; it was likely to explode any second now from the stress of it all.

Edward and I had only been married for one year now. I was so scared that he wouldn't want a baby this soon. And if he didn't, what was I supposed to do? I refused to get an abortion; that was murder. Could I give the baby up for adoption though?

"Isabella Cullen!" Edward shouted.

I finally snapped. "Leave me alone!" I yelled.

He was silent for a minute before he spoke. "Are you sick again?" he asked.

I had been getting sick every morning for the past month. I wrote it off as the flu at first, but then the idea of me possibly being pregnant popped into my head.

"No Edward," I yelled. "Now take the hint and leave me alone!"

I knew it was a lost cause. In approximately five seconds, the door would be slammed into the wall creating a huge whole that would, once again, need to be fixed. So I took the evil device and stuck it in my back pocket.

Five…Why did Edward have to be so over protective? Four…It was incredibly annoying! Three…Couldn't he just mind his own business? Two…Stupid, stupid, stupid! One…But I loved him so much…


I screamed and fell against the bathtub. "Edward Cullen! Look what you just did! Now you have to fix that…AGAIN!"

Just a week ago, he had banged the door open to get to me after I started throwing up.

"What is going on in here?" he asked in a calm, collected voice. I knew him well enough to know that he wasn't really calm and collected though.

"I…uh…well you see…"

"You are a terrible liar Bella," Edward informed me. "So why don't we just get this over with now. What is going on?"

I looked down at the floor and began to cry. Edward was immediately kneeling in front of me, holding me in his arms.

"What's wrong, love?" he asked softly as he rubbed my back.

"I don't want to tell you," I whispered through my tears.

"But you can tell me anything Bella." After a second, he added, "I love you."

I groaned and pushed away from his embrace, wrapping my arms around my knees and putting my head in between my legs. "Why do you do this to me?" I moaned.

"Bella? You have me really worried now. Please tell me." He picked me up and put me in his lap. "Please." He stroked my hair.

I groaned again. "You are going to get mad," I said.

"I could never be mad at you," Edward said appalled. "Honestly, don't you know me at all?" he teased.

I was not in the teasing mood. I tried to wiggle out of his embrace, but he pulled me closer to him. "I'm sorry Bella. Obviously this isn't a joking moment," he said.

"No, it's not," I agreed.

"Will you please tell me what is wrong?" he asked softly.

I sat there contemplating for a minute. He would find out eventually. This wasn't something you could really hide. And if he was going to disapprove, it was better to have him disapprove now instead of later.

I snuggled closer to him and whispered into his chest, "I'm pregnant."