Title: My Everything
Author: Mlle Lambert
Genre: Romance, a bit of angst on Mick's part
Season/Sequel: Season 1, but it could be later
Spoilers: Fated to Pretend and maybe Click if you want to get picky.
Summary: Mick's POV during a dinner date with Beth.
Disclaimer: Whoever owns them owns them! If I did, I'd be writing the scripts, not the fanfic!
Author's Note: Okay, so give me a break. I'm not a guy and this is my first time writing as one, but I figured plenty of authors do it so I should give it a try. I tried to keep the characters canon but I don't know how well I did. Feedback is love!
Written: May 6, 2008
I keep wondering what she sees in me. Sure, there have been plenty of times in the past that a human has been sexually attracted to a vampire, and even vice versa, but this is different. When she looks at me, I see this unyielding love and trust in her eyes. Most of the time I'm just grateful, but now and then I step back and ask myself why. I don't understand it. I mean, if you want to get technical, although I had good intentions, I've been stalking her ever since she was four years old.
We both know that's not how it was, but the implications are bad enough to someone on the outside. The truth is, I only started to love her after I spent some time with her, and not before, despite what anyone else might think. She's just so... I can't even explain what it is that draws me to her. This is the first time I've ever felt this way about anyone, let alone a human, so give me a break. I'm still new at this.
I watch her as she eats like I have several times before. I know I must be smiling because when she looks up from her plate, she stops, obviously self-conscious. "What?" she asks with that beautiful soft smile of own.
I just shake my head and look away briefly. In truth, this is one of those moments I feel as if we can fall into a comfortable silence without feeling obligated to say something. It gives me a chance just to look at her. She has on a blue dress tonight of a color that brings out her eyes. She is so beautiful and at that thought, I realize again just how much I love her. It's something that has never verbally passed between us, but I'd like to think that she knows how I feel just as I can see it in her eyes.
We are alone tonight, but she insisted on dressing up. I reach out and cover her hand with mine. Our eyes meet across the table. "How is everything?" I ask her.
I love her when her smile lights up her entire face like it is now. Her blue eyes sparkle. "You know, you're really starting to get the hang of this cooking thing."
Instead of answering, I stand, my hand nor my eyes leaving hers. I lean down and pause a moment before kissing her. She responds readily, and it soon transforms from innocent and exploring to passionate--like that time on the rooftop. Before I know it, we've made it from the table to the couch. She's pulling me against her and unbuttoning my shirt. My own hands wander, finding her zipper and gently tugging.
And then I lose control. The beast within me is unleashed, and the second it does, fear lances through me. I push her away as gently as I can and take a few steps back. "I'm sorry..." I can't even look at her when I say it. "I'm so sorry."
Now it's her turn to be silent. I hear her approach slowly, but I still don't meet her gaze. I can't bear to see her look at me like I'm some kind of monster. This is why I've held back. I don't want to hurt her. I just can't risk it.
Her soft hands caress my shoulders and she turns my head toward her. Without resistance, I finally look at her, ready for the worst. Instead, I see that same trust--that same love--that I always see. Even now I can hear the ebb and flow of her blood. She knows she's in danger, but she won't back down. She continues to look into my eyes, seeing me beyond the vampire. After a moment, she smiles--just barely, but she still does--and pulls me close. This time I do tense, but I ultimately let her wrap her arms around me in a comforting embrace. I realize that despite the fact that we've never actually said it, our feelings for each other run deeper than we can ever express in words.
Surprisingly, her quiet trust helps. The vampire calms and I can breathe a little easier knowing that she is much safer than a moment ago. I nuzzle her hair, taking in her scent before pulling away to look at her. She holds my gaze as she reaches up to play with my hair--a habit of hers that I'm beginning to like. She kisses me softly, but both of us know not to let it go further even though we want it to. "I should probably go," she whispers.
I nod and look away, unsure of what to do. That, and I don't want her to see how disappointed I am in myself. She doesn't realize just how close I came to killing her. She gathers her things and then she's back in front of me. I can feel her there just as if we were standing skin to skin. "Mick," she says. Before I can fully meet her gaze she kisses me again. "It's all right," she tells me with a reassuring smile. "Really, it's all right. I understand." I wonder if she really does. "Goodnight." With one last smile and caress of my chest, she heads for the door.
I watch her leave in silence. The door latches. I am alone.
But she will come back. I know she understands some of it if not everything. She is the first person I've encountered who does, and she loves me. My Beth. My angel. My everything.