Remember When by blackdragonflower

Summary: I love him... I love him not... Petals fall and one answers the question asked. Memories, smiles, cigarette smoke, love. MattxMello

Characters belong to Death Note by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata / Mr. Fluffikinz belongs to xxdemonchild and blackdragonflower

A/N: Mello is a smoker in this story. Matt's POV

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I love him... I love him not... I love him... I love him not...

I love him.

I hold the last petal up to the sunlight and exhale deeply. There's no way it would ever work out between us... if us were ever even remotely possible. I open by palm and watch as the wind snatches the petal away with greedy fingers.

"Matt... What are you doing out here all alone? You look... moody." I turn to look a t Mello who stared at me like a master over his slave. My usual companion pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and extracted one from the box. "Want one?" I shook my head and twirled the forgotten stem of a flower between my fingertips. Noticing it he plucked it from my grasp. "What's this for?"

"It's nothing."

"Nothing my ass." Mello huffed and sat beside me in the emerald sea of grass. "Looks like you were playing that game girls play when they're in love and can't make up their minds..." He tossed the stem over his shoulder and proceeded to look for a lighter in his pocket.

I don't know if my face turned red but it sure felt like it.

When Mello finally found the lighter and lit up the cigarette I lost my breath. He looked gorgeous. His golden hair framed his pleasantly pale face. I found myself staring at him and the deep enchanting pools one calls eyes. The urge to touch his cheek flared within me and I had to gulp, resisting the impulse. The smoke spilled from between his lips. His gaze turned to me from the corner of his eyes and an eyebrow rose. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"..." I tried to speak, honestly, but my mouth was dry.

"Seriously Matt, you're creeping me out." The blonde blew smoke in my face gagging me for a quick second.

"Mello...I love you!" The words rang through the silence and he remained quiet just letting the nicotine stain his lips. I fidgeted, twiddling my fingers, my face burning like fire. The summer sun beat down on the two of us the gentle breeze hardly cooling the hot atmosphere. Mello stood, dropped the cigarette, and snuffed it out with the toe of his shoe. Why was he doing this to me? I wish he would just answer me, say anything instead of just standing there in silence. I couldn't take it any more. I got up and began to walk away my face still flushed. He placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Matt... Turn around." Unable to disobey the command I did as I was told. He grabbed my chin roughly and before I knew it his lips crashed into my own. When he pulled away his face was lit up the cutest shade of pink. "Why didn't you fucking tell me sooner..." I smiled so wide my cheeks began to hurt. I threw my arms around his neck. Mello pushed me away his face redder.

"Mello..."

"Don't get me wrong... I like you too... but you can't jump all over me." His eyes narrowed.

I wonder if at this point my eyes were sparkling... "Okay... does this mean we're going out?!"

Mello turned a deep ruby. "Call it whatever the hell you want Matt... You sound like a fucking girl."

I couldn't help but grin and laugh. Mello loved me too. Sure he hadn't said it right out, but his actions tend to speak louder than his words. He pulled out another cigarette and lit up. I snatched the cancer stick from between his thirteen-year-old lips and replaced it with my own lips. His eyes widened, but he didn't push me away. Careful not to burn him with the tip of the cigarette I caressed his cheek as our mouths shyly welcomed the others. When the kissing stopped I rubbed my cheek affectionately against his, much like Mr. Fluffikinz the house cat. I wasn't surprised I got hit upside the head.

"You idiot... We could have been seen." But underneath his tone I noticed the smirk and the flirtatious edge. It was almost as if he wanted us to be seen, like he wanted to flaunt it in someone's face. "And give me back my cig. you jerk."

"Eh... stop calling me names..." I teased stealing some of the precious nicotine away between my lips and blowing smoke in his face. Mello growled and rolled up his right sleeve. I sat amongst the grass knowing I was about to get hit hard. I watched the fist come at me but at the last moment I was flicked upside the forehead, and the cigarette taken back.

"If you wanted some all you had to do was ask."

He grinned mischievously and joined me once more in the grass. We shared the cigarette watching as the wind blew dandelion seeds around us in flurried dances. Our fingers stealthily interlaced between us and the moment forever became imprinted in our minds.

Now we're older, crazier, maybe wiser, but who knows about the last one. I admire the golden band on my finger the only thing I'm wearing besides my skin. Mello's sleeping peacefully, his soft cheek resting against my chest. I chuckle quietly remembering the day I got the ring, how bitter that day was, back at good 'ole Wammy's House.

"Matt... Keep that ring and wait for me okay?"

"Mello..."

"Don't Mello me..." The blonde held up his left hand a similar ring glittering there. "I'll come and get you okay? It's not like I'm never coming back. Just wait for me Matt."

Through my tears I smiled and slipped the band onto my finger. "I never knew you were one for such sentimental bullshit Mells."

"Shut up..."

"You know I'll miss you."

"Yeah... I'll miss you too."

We shared a soft bittersweet kiss and I gave him one last hug before he left. "Take care of yourself Mello. Love you."

"Love you too Matt."

That was the first time, in words, he'd said he loved me and I knew he knew that.

I wake from memory lane when I feel Mello moving. His eyes open groggily. "What the hell are you still doing awake Matt?"

I brushed my fingers through his untidy hair. "Taking a walk down memory lane. Remember our first kiss?"

"Neh...Yeah..." Mello rolled his gem-like eyes and settled back down using me as pillow. "You should do something more useful with your time Matt..."

"That's right... I still need to beat that one secret boss so I can beat my game one hundred percent!" I made the movement to get up but Mello pinched me hard.

"No... Stay right here or I'll get cold." He growled threatening.

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his head. "Can't have that... now can we?" Mello yawned so cutely, warmth always makes him sleepy. "I love you Mello."

"Go to sleep!" He groaned burying his face into my chest. And then I just barely heard it but it was there, "Love you."

He was gone quickly back to another world. A peaceful look returned to his face, one I couldn't help but gush over. Mello is my angel, black wings scorched and torn, and scars decorate his heart. He is my perfect angel, no matter his injuries, no matter his flaws. We share our hearts and are bound. No one can ever tell us any different.

Ghostly-Heaven requested a MattxMello story. Hope you like it Ghostly-Heaven!

Hope you all enjoy it! Reviews and favs are always appreciated! I did a count and apparently this is my ninth MattxMello fic! XD

Till next time!

blackdragonflower