Fractured Hearts

( inuyasha & kagome )

; wanting to stay

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha in any way.

When I'm with you,
I'll make every second count,
'cause I miss you, whenever your not around.
When I kiss you,
I still get butterflies,
years from now,
I'll make every second count,
when I'm with you.

-- Faber Drive

They had been sitting on a hill overlooking the ocean for quite a while now and Inuyasha was getting restless; he was reluctant to move, however, because Kagome seemed to be enjoying herself. Whispering with Shippo, who had yet to detach himself from her shoulder, she was smiling and watching the sun set in the distance. He could understand -- even he couldn't deny that the sight was breathtaking.

Watching her now though, he was surprised when she suddenly looked like she was drifting into thought. Not altogether happy thoughts if her expression was anything to judge by. And she rarely did so when she had Shippo to occupy.

"Whatcha thinking about?" He asked her, moving from his seated position to a crouching position and leaning forward.

Kagome glanced over at him and smiled, looking a little surprised.

Keh, it's not like I never ask her or anything, Inuyasha thought moodily.

She turned her head back to look out at the sunset and titled her head. "I was thinking about... All of my friends at home. And my parents." She added.

"Oh." Inuyasha fell back and pretended to look anywhere but her, but he watched her out of the corner of his eye. She was looking all forlorn again and it was bugging. He was about to say something -- probably something that would earn him the privilege of hearing a certain word -- but she spoke before he could get even one word out of his mouth.

"And Kouga."

He tensed up automatically at the mention of the stupid wolf and he could feel his eye beginning to twitch out of annoyance. "Oh really?" He ground out, crossing his arms over his chest.

"How come, Kagome?" Shippo finally spoke up, grinning manically at Inuyasha behind her unsuspecting head.

Kagome could practically feel the tension suddenly radiating off of the half-demon beside her and she had to swallow a laugh, even though what she was saying was true; she hadbeen thinking about Kouga, so why lie to him? Though, she had known that it would make him jealous and upset... It always did. Maybe she should've lied, but she had already said it, so... "I was thinking about how much I'd miss him when I have to leave for good." Something settled deep in her stomach at the thought -- leaving this era forever? She missed her friends and her family everyday she was here, of course, but...

This was where she belonged now, this is where she wanted to be more than anything else.

She didn't want to leave...

But she'd always felt that she would have to.

"You're gonna leave us?" Shippo asked in disbelief. "But... You... I mean..." He was completely shell-shocked, not to mention devastated and Kagome regretted saying it while he was still with them. She hadn't been able to breach the subject with Shippo before and she had just let it all out of the water without a second thought.

"Shippo..." But he refused to listen, jumping off of her and scurrying over to where Miroku and Sango sat with Kirara. She hadn't missed the tears that had gathered in the corners of his eyes, either. Sighing, she closed her eyes against the sunset and brought her knees up to her chest.

"Now whatcha thinking about?" Inuyasha asked, still with the jealous edge to his voice. "Better not be that stupid wolf."

"Yep, it's still him." She replied and this time she didn't stop the grin from spreading across her face.

"What!? What the hell would you be thinking about him for now!?"

Laughing, she grabbed his arm because he had stood up, ready to walk away and pulled him back down to her level. "I was just kidding, calm down, I'm sorry. I couldn't resist."

He merely growled in response.

"I was actually thinking about Shippo. I didn't want to tell him that so... Abruptly." She sighed and in a quieter voiced, continued, running a frustrated hand through her hair. "You know, he's... He's like a son to me and it's ridiculous because I'm only fifteen, but..." Hanging her head in her hands, she breathed a strangled cry. "Why can't anything be easy in this time period?"

"He'll get over it." Inuyasha quipped, turning away from her. All this talk of her leaving for good was making him uncomfortable and nervous.

She didn't say anything after that remark and he almost felt bad for it.

"I would miss everything here, you know. I can't imagine leaving for good."

"Then don't." It was out of his mouth before he realized what he was saying and he could have kicked himself -- or something worse -- for it. What would she think about that!? What if she took it the wrong way!?

Except that she would probably take it the right way.

He just didn't want her to know that she would be correct.

"I mean, uh... You'll always have work here. Even when we find all the missing pieces and complete the jewel, you'll probably have to watch over it or... Something." Inuyasha fumbled, trying to cook up a believable explanation to cover with. He was failing miserably, so Kagome moved on to save him.

"Well, jeez, thanks for that." She sighed, wondering why he could never just say what he wanted; what exactly did he think she would do? Laugh? Tell him he was wrong, that he should stop thinking and feeling that way? Reject him?

Then again, she wasn't exactly pouring her heart out either.

"Sango is my best friend you know... I love her more than I ever loved any of my friends back in the present. It sounds so wrong and... Terrible, but it's true. And Miroku's like a very perverted brother." She giggled. "I would miss watching him and his stupid ideas of winning women over." She felt the familiar prickle of tears in the back of her eyes and she wanted to give in to the emotion, but she knew it would make the half-demon beside her freak out. Still, it was evident enough in her voice and the next thing she knew, he was sitting in front of her with an unreadable look on his face.

"Don't. Cry." He demanded comically and she couldn't stop herself from laughing -- he relaxed a little bit, but he never stopped watching her warily.

"I'd miss you the most though." She confessed. "You were the first person I met when I came through the well and even though we didn't get off to the best start... We've been through a lot, haven't we?"

"I guess so." He shrugged, trying not to get too involved; he was uncomfortable, but she was determined to get something out of him.

"Between this time and my time... I would never be able to forget all the things we've done. And gotten ourselves into." She added, smiling nostalgically, remembering other times.

Inuyasha remembered too and despite his inital dislike of her... Even when he hadn't been so forthcoming with her, he had still enjoyed their little escapades.

"That's all I'm thinking about." She finished, smiling again. And after a beat of silence, she asked, "where are we off to next?"

Changing the subject. She didn't want to think about it anymore, because it hurt.

Inuyasha understood -- he felt it, too.

He never wanted her to leave. He knew that neither Sango nor Miroku and most especially not Shippo wanted that either.

He would make it work; she would never have to leave them. She would never have to leave him.

They would figure it out.

Just... Not right now.

( AN. ) No doubt tried and done before, but the idea took me and it wrote itself. :)