This is just a random something-something I really wanted to write. Please review.
Warning: This is UNASHAMEDLY A SELF-INSERT. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
I own myself.
I'm insanely in love with William Mosely, but that will not affect anything about Peter in this story. THIS IS NOT A MARY SUE!
Strange Things Happen in Libraries With Dr. Pepper
By Pippin Baggins
Sodas, Stuck Fingers, and Sandy Caves
The library was extremely quiet, as usual. It was one of those days when I biked over in the Englandish kind of day. It was raining slightly, and the clouds were gray, but the air was fresh and smelled green. A good book day.
I found myself browsing through the original section of the building, still held together by 1940s framework of the darkest wood. Tall, skinny gothic windows let in little light, but it was enough to see I was in the fantasy section.
Ah, C. S. Lewis. My personal hero. I reached over and grabbed a worn Harper-&-Collins version of Prince Caspian. I opened it and read the table of contents. How charming—I had a copy at home, but it was a 90s edition. This was from the 60s, with Pauline Baynes illustrations—in color! I slipped it in my book-bag, pleased with the antiquity.
I looked over to my left, where the outside wall boasted of bookshelves eight feet high. Agitha Christie was stuck up there in the mysteries. Poor ol' girl.
I glanced around…I was the only one there. No one could see me.
I pulled a can of Dr. Pepper out of my purse, mostly just because I was thirsty, and partly because I knew I'd be murdered by a librarian if I was caught with a carbonated drink over the carpeted area. I snapped the little lid-thingy and took a swig, and immediately started choking. I was hacking so loudly that it echoed.
I leaned on the wall with one hand, set my soda on the ground, and put the other hand to my throat. I was going to DIE! I was going to DIE, alone, in a library!
My hand that held me up against the wall slipped, slid down the binding of another C. S. Lewis book, and slid into a tiny imperfection in the wood. My finger slipped inside what appeared to be a hole—on the shelf—and some kind of trigger gave away.
The bookshelf swung away from me, opening like a door, dragging me with it and leaving my Dr. Pepper behind. I saw the view from the windows on either side of my discovered door that looked over pavement two stories below. This was the outside wall! The door was going to open into open air, and I would break my finger and plummet to my death!
Now, THIS was climatic. And such a romantic way to die.
But instead of being jerked into the impending death I expected, I stepped—okay, I was PULLED—through the door into brilliant sunlight. And, the Dr. Pepper slipped down my throat and I swallowed.
"Yay!" I said, startling myself by speaking—and at the same time—jerking my finger out from the hole in the shelf. It began to swing close behind me.
"Wait, wait, wait, hold on…" I panicked, whirled around, and grabbed at it. But it was too late. It closed, and on this side of it, it was disguised as a rocky cliff face.
I was stuck in Middle Earth.
It had to be Narnia.
I pulled the copy of Prince Caspian out of my book bag, and suddenly, I was very puzzled.
I did not remember the plot.
I've read it twenty gazillion times.
I opened it…and the pages were blank. Every single one. The beautiful illustrations…and the map, too.
And I had no idea what it was about. I'd forgotten everything.
"Dang you!" I shook my fist at the sky. "This is so I can't change anything, huh? Well, how about I MARCH over there and plant a kiss on Peter? HUH? HUH? Didja ever think about THAT one? I WILL BE A FREAKY MARY SUE!"
Wait a second, I can't do that. I'm a devoted fan fiction author. It'd be like going against every thing I believe in. It would be like attending a Christian church wearing a red dot on my forehead. It'd be like joining Oxford and bringing booze. It'd be like showing up to school and failing the test. Well…
"I refuse!" I said lightly, sitting in the sand. I was in a cave. How tragic. Brilliant sunlight, like I stated, shown in from the opening end that looked out onto a beach and four odd cats splashing in the waves.
Hmm, I thought cats didn't like water.
"I REFUSE TO DO THIS! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! IT'S EVERY FAN GIRLS DREAM, BUT IT'S JUST WRONG!" I crossed my arms over my chest and decided I would go on strike.
"Peter, did you hear THAT?"
"Sounded like a girl screaming!"
"What did you say, Ed?"
"He said, Su, he heard a girl screaming!"
"It's coming from the cave."
"Let's go look!"
"Suppose she followed us from the train station?"
"No, it was just us four in there at first. You know that."
"Let's have a look, already! Come ON!"
"I've got a pickle, I've got a pickle," I began to sing, tapping my book bag in rhythm. "I've got a pickle…" I stopped when I noticed four silhouettes proceeding towards me.
"Hello there!" said the youngest in a cheerful voice. So that was Lucy. Whats-his-face may have erased my mind about what was in my Prince Caspian copy, but he didn't let me forget what happened in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
"Hi," I said glumly.
"Who are you?" she asked.
"I'm M…" I started, then rethought it. This is definitely going on fan fiction later. No names. It's the Internet. "My name is Pippin. Pippin…Baggins?" I wasn't asking THEM what my name was. "My name is Pippin Baggins. Who are YOU?"
"I'm Lucy," Lucy held out a hand. I shook it.
"I'm Susan," I shook it.
"I'm Peter," I shook it and melted inside.
"I'm Edmund," I shook his hand too. Were there no surprises in life?
"So, how did YOU get here? You're not a…native?" Peter asked, taking charge, as usual. "You are strangely dressed."
I glanced at his school uniform. "Oh, buddy," I said, suppressing a giggle. "I'm from the same place you are. Planet Earth. America. Well, that is, you ARE from there, right?" I added the last part innocently.
"England," Susan said shortly.
"So, if I WERE a native, what would I be a native of?" I asked, trying to talk more than necessary, and for whatever reason, I don't know, but it was nice to over-chat and let them try and keep up.
"Narnia," said Edmund. "But anyhow, Pippin, how'd you get here?"
"It was definitely Dr. Pepper," I muttered to myself. "Actually," I said out loud, "I was in the public library looking over…books. The wall opened and I was pulled in. Savvy?"
"You were pulled in like us!" Lucy exclaimed, looking happy. "You see, we're all Kings and Queen's of Narnia…"
"Lu," warned Susan and Peter at the same time.
"We came from England during the air raids, came here, battled the White Witch, became rulers, returned, and now a year later—we've come back!" Lucy looked at me expectantly.
"Um, well, that's jolly good news for you, Your Majesty." I automatically went into a British accent. Oops. Well, at least I'm good at it.
All of them stared at me as if I was insane.
"Can I just go with you, then?" I lapsed back into U.S-ish. "I admit, I am lost, and I don't know what's going on…"
"I don't think so," Peter said quickly.
"Oh, come off it," said Ed, "Remember how WE first felt when we FIRST came here?"
"Yeah!" I agreed wholeheartedly. "You can't just…leave me. All alone. What if the Beaver just abandoned YOU when you first arrived?"
"How did you know about Mr. Beaver?" asked Susan incredulously.
"I took a wild guess. Dolphins were out of the question." I glanced at their stony faces. "Well, um, okay…" still stone. "So, I guess, if you don't want me around, can you just kill me now? I'd rather not starve to death."
"KILL you?" Peter exclaimed.
"You'll do it? Okay!" I grinned. "That's a nice sword. May I poke it?"
"You certainly may NOT poke it!"
"Fine!" I stood up and began walking towards the cave entrance.
"Where are you going?" Ed asked.
"Oh Aslan!" I began singing, spreading my arms out like a plane when I first reached the lapping waves. "Aslan! Come forth! I needs you real bad! Aaaaaaslaaaaan??"
"You know of Aslan?" asked Edmund, leading the group as they trailed behind me.
"Who doesn't?" I gave him a look, like he was daft or something. "He's all powerful. The Great Lion. The Son of the Emperor Across the Sea. King over all High Kings. Lord of the Wood. He…um…" I was going to say he delivers Narnia from this second catastrophe, but that bit of information slipped from my head before I could fathom it. Darn mind wipes.
"You're loyal to Him, then?" Peter asked.
"Yes!" I said, with every ounce of devotion I could muster. "He died on the Stone Table! Doesn't he deserve it?"
"How did you know about that if you've never been here before?" Susan asked.
"Do tell us, its alright," Lucy said.
"I don't know!" I snapped. "I just KNOW. It's not something you're TOLD. It's something you KNOW." Or read in a fictional book! I added silently.
"Alright, I say we put it to a vote," Susan said.
"I'm High King, I get the final say," Peter said.
"Yeah and I have darker hair!" mocked Edmund. "What I say goes."
Lucy shrugged. "I don't care!"
"How about I SAY SOMETHING?" I cried. "Vote, you sillies!"
"She comes with us," said Edmund.
"Me too," said Lucy.
"Well, fine," said Peter, "We can't just leave you in the beach. It's rude."
"Thanks, your Worshipfulness," I imitated Harrison Ford and failed miserably.
Susan sighed. "I planned on voting yes all along. As Queen of this country, I can't just condemn a stranger to wandering in the wilderness. We owe you hospitality, especially if you are loyal to Aslan."
"Hospitality?" asked Edmund. "Why should we owe hospitality if we don't know where WE are?"
"Where do YOU think we are?" Peter laughed in disbelief.
"In Narnia…" Lucy whispered, trying to help Ed out.
"But I don't remember any ruins in Narnia," Ed said, pointing.
A big, broken, stone turret protruded from the trees.
"Oh! Castle!" I squeaked.
They glanced at me.
"Well, duh," I muttered, as they all turned and began heading back up the beach.
I stumbled down the beach after them. "Drink up me hearties, yo ho…I love this song! I'm going to teach it to the whole crew and we'll all sing it! Yo ho yo ho a pirates life for me!"
The four Pevensies ignored me and disappeared in the trees.
"Go on and receive almost certain death?" I mused to myself. "Hmm. Well. To die would be an awfully big adventure, right?" I shook myself. "INTO THE WOODS!" I sang sappily. "Into the woods I go!"
"Be quiet," hissed Peter from ahead. "We don't know if we are without enemies."
"To go, or not to go," I debated again. "Stay and die on the sand. Go on and die by something else that I cannot remember because the book is blank and my memory of its interior is gone. Go or stay? To be or not to be?"
"Do come on," Lucy came to me and took my hand. "You can walk with me."
"Do you have any tea?" I asked.
"No, I'm afraid not," she grinned.
"Oh, badgers and breadsticks!" I snorted. "And I ain't got no pocket hankercheif, either! An adventure and no tissue!"
I am going to die!
Read and review my peeps!