How could I let this opportunity pass? A Booth awkward naked scene, and no comment from me? Unheard of. These are my 'five stages of accidental nakedness' sort of like the 'five stages of grieving/death' but infinitely more fun. It's a bit rough since I wrote it in two hours, but whatever.
Denial/Shock. Weirdness. Self-loathing. Hilarity. Reconciliation.
oh my god.
I got about a foot outside of the door before the realization hit. I put my back to the opposite wall of the hallway. What just happened? What did I just do? I'm hallucinating right? That did not just happen. It couldn't have, it's completely unlike me to irrationally and illogically explode into my partner's bathroom and start reaming them out for not telling me they didn't die. Right? No chance.
Oh my god.
That was when my brain caught up.
Booth was in the bathtub. The bathtub. Naked. Booth. That's about seven different kinds of weird right there. Thing is, it wasn't really even that weird. Which is also weird and slightly intriguing. He's exactly the kind of guy to make that really awkward and yet he didn't take the opportunity. But I didn't look. I didn't. Not directly anyways. The information I gathered from my periphery was more than enough to satisfy any curiosity I'd ever had about the 'physicality' of the man I spent most of my day with.
Was I really just curious? Uh-oh. Now that would be stupid.
Oh My God.
What was I thinking? Why did I go in there in the first place? When I figured out he was in the bathroom I should have knocked, or waited outside, ANYTHING but what I decided to do. It was like the opposite of logical or even reasonable. It's like my brain wasn't working. I was so overcome with anger and indignation that I didn't even take the time to judge whether or not I was making a mistake. Idiot, I let my anger get the best of me. Emotions like that serve no real purpose Temperance! You know that! Booth is sitting there, minding his own not being dead business and you fling open the door to his private bathroom shouting on and on about how annoyed YOU are at HIM? I must have looked like a crazy person! I banged my illogical head against the taupe colored wall three or four times to try and knock some sense back into it. Stop being angry. Anger is stupid. Look what it makes you do Tempe: Act like a brainless irrational lunatic. Punching out your partner, whom you actually like, then interrupting his bath just to yell at him?!
Oh My God!
The pure ridiculousness of the situation finally caught up to my awkward rambling shock and I slid to the floor shaking with silent laughter. How blind I was! Anger is blinding; I momentarily forgot that, and paid the price. Blindingly bursting into Booth's house, not to mention bathroom, was pretty silly, especially considering what I found after I burst in.
I sat there giggling like an eleven year-old and thought over the last 5 minutes of my partnership with the man probably cowering behind the door in front of me. First of all, Booth is a bather?… so did not expect that. Not that I think about his 'extra-curricular' activities (much). But that beer hat, so unmistakably Booth. Ha! And the so-called 'graphic novel'? High comedy.
'Oh, he is never winning another argument with me again' I thought as I clomped my boots happily against the wood floor. Hysterical!
OH MY GOD!
I jumped about three feet in the air when I heard his voice. My hand flew to my chest. I was so lost in my amusement that I didn't even notice that he had gotten dressed and opened the door. After recovering from my slight shock, I looked up into his familiar chocolate eyes, which instead of being full of pouting annoyance like they were the last time I had seen them, were just full of that old Booth charm and a cheeky grin.
"Glad to bring a smile to your face Bones, but laughing isn't something a guy wants to hear after he's just been surprised like that."
We smiled together as he helped me off the floor.
"I'm sorry Booth. I wasn't exactly laughing at you, more the situation and myself than you."
But one look at the beer hat in his hand and I took my apology right back with another bout of giggles.
"Nope." I said gasping for breath. "I guess really was laughing at you."
He narrowed his eyes and started down the steps.
"I'm never going to live this down am I?"
I was laughing harder and harder with each step downwards. "Never."
"But you broke into MY bathroom!"
Just before I dissolved into laughter for a third time I managed one last sentence. "I did. And for that I really am sorry. I think."
I felt the plastic helmet clunk onto my head and as it slid rather ungracefully over my eyes I heard him finally start to chuckle.
"Well Bones, I guess it's ok since I refreshingly lack Puritan modesty and all."
The smile on my face grew a little wider as I took off the helmet and tried to hand it to him; 'had I really said that?'
He refused it with a grin. "You can keep it. I don't think I'll be wanting to wear it much in the future."
" Hey Bones? Where are your car keys?"
"I think I need some pie."
Let me know if you want Booth's 'five stages' too!