Good Taste
by JustShotMarvin

Summary: He doesn't understand what the big deal is about this 'pizza' stuff. (slight GarrusxFem!Shep, if you squint)

Notes: No, I have no idea how the hell Shepard got pizza in the middle of space. I figure Domino's still delivers or something hundreds of years into the future.

Disclaimer: It ain't mine. The good folks over at EA and Bioware-Pandemic own Mass Effect.

In front of him is a box, cardboard, with some ridiculous stereotypical chef printed on the front. Coming from this cardboard box is a strange smell, like rubber and meat, and it's so hot that it's steaming. Across from him, wearing an almost delighted look, is a 29 year old Spectre who should not be so damn excited about some Earth food. But here she is, face lit up like a kid as Christmas (that was the expression, right?), drumming her fingers on the table excitedl

"You open it."

"You're making too big of a deal out of this, Shepard."

"Humor me. Where I'm from, the fact that you haven't eaten this stuff is practically a sin."

A pause and he eyes her carefully.

"Not literally, Garrus."

"I knew that."

She gives him this sort of "uh-huh" look and he rolls his black eyes. With a mutter of "fine, I'll open the damn thing," he reaches over and lifts the cover of the box. The contents are not made out of gold, nor do they resemble the delicacy that the commander made them out to be. It is simply cooked dough, cheese, and what Shepard says is pepperoni, whatever the hell that is. It is also nearly dripping in grease and he is certain he leans back a little, like it might reach up and eat him.

"This is pizza?"


"Somehow, I expected something more... elaborate," the Turian murmurs, still not coming close to touching it. Shepard, on the other hand, has already fished a large piece out for herself and stops mid-bite at his words.

"What gave you that idea?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it was the Spectre that dragged me down here," a gesture to the table in the lower decks of the Normandy. "All the while explaining how back home, everyone ate the stuff and how I had to try it and how it was pretty much Earth in food form--"

"Well, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. It's just New York in food form."

"--And now you show me the stuff, and it's just baked bread and cheese?"

"And pepperoni and tomato sauce."

"Excuse me if I'm a bit underwhelmed," he finally finishes, leaning back in his seat and folding slim arms over his chest. She falls silent for a moment, her food still in hand, still untouched, and that brow of hers just quirks ever so slightly. The quiet that follows is rather extensive and gets him shifting in his seat. It occurs to him that he might have just offended the commander. Most people who offended the commander didn't walk away with all of their limbs, so he starts looking for a hasty exit.

"Are you even gonna try the stuff?" she suddenly asks. He stares at her for a moment, at the expectant look she's giving him, both brows now raised and lips almost pouted out in a look that he could only call 'cute.' Somewhere, out in the galaxy, his father just winced because he even thought the word, Garrus thinks. But in spite of all this, she is still looking at him, her food going untouched, like she was waiting for him.

"Fine, I'll try it," he mutters and picks up a piece of the Earth food. A triumphant smile crosses Shepard's face as he brings it up close, nevermind the fact the he doesn't seem as thrilled. It takes him a moment to determine that she's not trying to kill him and genuinely has his best interests at heart.

And if Avery Shepard wanted to hurt you, then she'd hurt you, so he had to be in the clear... Right?

And with that feeble reassurance in his mind, Garrus Vakarian opens his mouth and takes a bite of this strange, greasy mess. Shepard watches him expectantly, waiting for some kind of reaction, but he takes his time to process this odd taste. After he swallows, she sits up a little, bobbing her head in some kind of gesture requesting he speak.


A pause. His only response is to take another bite, this time much larger, and she sits up straight in glorious victory.

"See Garrus?" she laughs, finally tucking in to her own food. "I knew you had good taste."

"Quiet you," he mutters, trying to hide his amusement at seeing her so smug, taking another quick bite. "And give me another piece."