Title: Happy Birthday Fro

Author: Twilight Walters

Distribution: Anywhere but please let me know

Rating: K / G

Categories: Story Humour

Keywords: Mulder/Scully Angst Mulder/Scully UST Scully/Frohike Friendship

Spoilers: Fight the Future (reference only)

Summary: It's a late Friday night at a Jazz club; add a blonde, brunette and a red head along with two skimpy black dresses and some scintillating conversation. What do you get... an evening full of misunderstandings and presumptions. The question is... who will go home with whom?

Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Chris Carter and Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

Feedback: Feed me, Seymour! Feedback is always wanted. It's like chocolate to me but without the calories.


Happy Birthday Fro
By Twilight

It was a busy Friday night in the jazz club when the two women walked in, catching more than a few admiring glances.

The women were similarly attired in short black tight dresses and high black heels. They would have been waiting a long time out in the cold had they not easily caught the attention of the doorman. Both swayed unconsciously to the music holding themselves with confidence and poise.

The taller of the two had long slender legs and a narrow waist, which flared out into modest hips and succeeded in drawing attention to her more than ample cleavage. She was more than alluring in appearance with delicate features; deep brown eyes and red pouting lips along with a mane of wavy black hair which was flowing loosely down her back.

The more striking of the two was also equipped with delicate features, a seductive smile and piercing blue eyes. Though she was modest in height, her legs seemed long, slender and shapely and were being nicely accentuated by her short figure hugging dress and her three-inch high slinky heels. Her hips were slim, her waist narrow and her cleavage subtle yet very well defined. Her strikingly red hair was softly framing her face and enticing even more blatant attention.

"Oh Dana, it's so good to be out with you again... it's been way too long." The taller of the two stated as they giggled slightly at the hateful glares they had received when being ushered through the club doors. What could they do? Sometimes you just got lucky.

"I know Lizzy but with work and, well, you know how it is." Dana Scully replied linking her arm with her friends so they would not lose each other in the crowd.

"I know..." Her friend replied remorsefully. "... But let's not worry about that tonight. This is after all a celebration."

"It is indeed. I can't believe you got the divorce finalized so quickly." Scully stated in awe, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the music.

"Quickly? That man stole three years of my life. Time I'll never get back, time that I could have been using to build a home and make babies..." Lizzy halted abruptly realising her unintentional slip. "Oh Dana... I'm so sorry I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay... it's a part of life." Dana brushed off her friends' concern gently. This was a night out and she wasn't about to let it slide downhill so easily. "I still can't believe Travis was only in the marriage for your money, I mean... what was he, blind?"

"Oh Dee, you're just too sweet." Lizzy replied embracing her friend in a quick hug. "I should have known better, he was always something of an air head but I fell for him anyway. He seemed like such a sob story and you know I can't help but fall for them. The silly thing is ... he wasn't even my type. If I ever look twice at a guy like that again shoot me."

Dana laughed at her friend's statement. "Sure. If I ever see you falling for a tall, blond haired, blue eyed man with the body of Adonis... I will be sure to shoot you."

"Thanks Dana, I knew I could count on you." Lizzy giggled. "The real joke of the whole thing is that Travis signed a prenuptial agreement. He never stood a chance at getting a cent. I guess he mustn't have known what it was."

Dana bit her lip trying not to laugh but the urge was too overwhelming. "I'm sorry, hon... but that's classic!"

"Yeah, yeah... laugh all you want but I'm sticking to smart men from now on. At least you know where you stand with them."

Dana rolled her eyes "Ummm, some of them... so, are we gonna dance or what?"

"Well, I was going to suggest it but seeing as you have complained about your aching feet no less then four times in the past hour I figured it was out of the question." Lizzy stated teasingly.

"You try wearing four inch heels all day then putting another pair on to come out in the evening..." Dana eyed her friend appraisingly before adding sarcastically. "Oh, I forgot. You don't have to."

Lizzy giggled with her friend. As long as they had known each other Dana had been jealous of Lizzy's height, but then Lizzy had always been jealous of Dana's colouring so it was a fair trade off. "I don't see why you bother anyway, I mean you're an incredibly attractive woman. So you're short, deal with it."

Dana smiled up at her friend enjoying their comfortable banter. "Believe me, I would, but I happen to have a six foot tall partner that makes it very hard for me to forget."

"You know Dana..." Lizzy chuckled. "That could only happen to you."

Dana rolled her eyes in a tell-me-something-I-don't-know way. "I think I need a drink."

Lizzy looked to the hordes of people surrounding the club's bar then lifted her eyebrows. "Yeah, good luck with that."

"Watch and learn, Lizzy my dear." Dana murmured confidently smoothing her black dress down over her curves and lowering her neckline to reveal a more ample view of her bosom. Strutting to the bar with purpose she easily shimmied between the waiting patrons, after all, being her height did have some advantages.

Leaning over the bar slightly she caught the attention of the bartender. He headed her way immediately, bypassing at least five waiting men who were frantically waving their money at him.

"What can I do for you?" The bartender asked flirtatiously.

"Well, I'd like a couple of martinis but I think this gentleman was here before me." Dana cooed indicating the man next to her.

"That's okay." The man to her left squeaked. "Actually... let me get those for you and I'll have a couple of beers too."

"Thank you." Dana purred to him as she gave the bartender a sly wink. The bartender grinned broadly mixing her martinis and then grabbing a couple of beers as an afterthought.

"How about a dance?" The mysterious martini buyer asked her as she turned to escape with the drinks.

"Later." She purred before disappearing back into the crowd.

Lizzy saw her friend approaching her with the two drinks. "Dana Scully did you just do what I think you did?"

"Depends what you think I did." Dana stated coyly.

Lizzy chuckled knowing her friend's old trick. "I'll get the next round."

"No need. I didn't get this one." Dana smiled sipping her martini.

"Dana Scully you're incorrigible." Lizzy giggled before sipping her own martini.

"I know."

"Ummm, eye candy at eleven o'clock." Lizzy smiled distractedly whilst unconsciously licking her lips.

"No way Lizzy, you said this was a girls night out. Girls only." Dana stated stubbornly as memories of their younger days sprang back to mind. "I refuse to be pawed over by some strange guy's mate, just so you can line up a date."

"Oh, Danes, but he's perfect for me." Lizzy smiled eyeing the man up and down like he was a treat waiting to be unwrapped. "I can see from here that he has a hidden intellect."

Dana arched her brow incredulously. "No. Not a chance."

"But Danes look... he's everything I want, please... I've been unhappy for the past two years, help me celebrate. Just take a look." Lizzy pleaded pointing in the direction of her potential Romeo.

Dana looked over her shoulder and saw the man her friend was referring to. "Absolutely not." She stated in horror. "I know them."

"Perfect. You can introduce me."


Mulder stood in shock as the unexpected floorshow dissipated. "Frohike, what just happened?"

Frohike shook his head in amusement before placing a comradely hand on his friends shoulder. "Mulder my man, you saw just as much as me."

Mulder shook his head in surprise. "I can't believe Byers just got thrown out of a jazz club."

"I know man." Frohike agreed. "At least with Langly you kinda expect it."

"What did Byers even do?" Mulder asked, still confused.

"Best I can figure, the bouncers thought he was a jealous boyfriend." Frohike tried desperately to disguise the mirth in his voice as he began thinking up ways to tease his straight-laced friend. "I keep telling blondie to get his hair cut but will he listen to me? Nope, it was just a matter of time before he started getting hit on like that. Byers really shouldn't have tried to break it up."

"But that guy? He has to be about eight feet tall." Mulder replied in shock as he watched the man in question tower above the bouncers.

"Yup. Guess that's why Byers and Langly were thrown out instead of him."

"So, the real question is... did that guy mistake Langly for a woman or is he just that way inclined?" Mulder asked, a smirk making its way to his lips.

"Who cares man? Their problem. You never know, Langly still might get lucky tonight." Frohike replied tilting his head to the side nonchalantly.

Mulder looked to his friend inquisitively. "Don't you think they'll head straight home?"

"I'm sure they will..." Frohike muttered smirking. "... But we already know Byers is into blondes."

"Oh, Fro! I did not need that visual in my head." Both men started laughing uncontrollably. "We should really have done something to help."

"And get thrown out too? No way man, it's my birthday and I wanna celebrate. Look at all these chicks man, you really wanna miss out on this?"

"Not really my type." Mulder stated in an off hand manner before giving a cursory look around the dance floor to appease his friend. "You think you stand a chance?"

"With you? Sorry, Mulder you just don't float my boat." Frohike stated laughing more at Mulder's incredulous expression before adding seriously. "Admittedly some of them seem a little out of my league."

"Well duh... I'm guessing that they don't have 'made in Taiwan' stamped on their asses."

"That hurts man!" Frohike mockingly grabbed at his chest in a bereft manner. "Besides... don't you think it will be damn fun to find out?"

"Okay..." Mulder stated humouring his friend. "It's your birthday after all so pick a victim."

"No need." Frohike murmured watching the black haired goddess make her way towards them. "Man, you get all the luck."

The goddess came to a stop in front of them and smiled first to Mulder then to Frohike. "Hi." She purred.

Mulder gave her a cursory look up and down taking a sip of his scotch. He really wasn't interested but knew that was no reason to be impolite. "Hi."

The woman in front of him pulled slightly on someone behind her, bringing another woman into view. Mulder's eyes worked their way up the new woman's body, casually taking in her appearance. 'High heels, nice legs... nice body but she's still not...' He gasped. "Scully!"

"Scully?" Frohike echoed.

"Mulder, Frohike." Scully stated uncomfortably.

"You..." Mulder started then hesitated as he raked his eyes over her once more. He was feeling incredibly turned on and very uncomfortable at the same time. "You never said you were going out tonight." He stated accusingly.

"Neither did you." She replied, absently taking another sip of her martini.

"Oh, it's a special occasion." Mulder stated trying desperately hard not to lower his eyes to her ample cleavage once more.

"Really?" Scully asked sceptically.

"Hu hum." Lizzy coughed, getting her friends attention and shooting her daggers through her eyes.

"Oh, sorry." Scully apologised. It was so easy for her and Mulder to become wrapped up in each other's attention being that they spent so much time together alone. "Fox Mulder, Melvin Frohike, I'd like you to meet my friend Lizzy McQue."

"Beth." Lizzy corrected her friend. "She only gets to call me Lizzy because we have been friends so long. Nice to meet you." Lizzy added as she shook Mulder's hand before turning to Frohike.

Frohike lifted her hand in his half glove-clad hand and placed it to his lips. "I'm blinded surrounded by such beauty." Frohike whispered eyeing Scully and Lizzy before placing a gentle kiss on Lizzy's hand.

Lizzy smiled widely before gently extracting her hand from Frohike's grasp, inciting both Mulder and Scully to roll their eyes heavenwards.

"Special occasion?" Scully prompted Mulder.

"Oh, yeah. It's Frohike's birthday."

"Really?" Lizzy asked squeezing Dana's hand.

Dana was suddenly reminded of their college tradition and smiled at her friend before they both moved in towards Frohike. Each rubbed their bodies briefly but sensually against Frohike as they leaned in and simultaneously each kissed one of Frohike's cheeks.

"Happy Birthday." They purred in unison.

"Wow." Frohike gasped in surprise, nearly dropping his drink.

Mulder looked on in awe. 'I wonder how many of those she's had?' Mulder thought eyeing his partner's martini.

Frohike looked to Mulder. "We can go home now."

"What?" Mulder asked thoroughly confused.

"Well I don't think the evening can top that!" Frohike exclaimed smiling widely at Scully and Lizzy.

Mulder laughed along with his friend before turning his attention back to his partner. "So... you know why we're here..."

Scully smiled at Mulder's unasked question before declaring. "Celebration."

"What's the occasion?"

Scully opened her mouth to reply but received a sharp stab of nails to her wrist so hesitated.

"Does there have to be an occasion?" Lizzy asked distractingly batting her eyelids at Mulder. She certainly didn't want the future man of her life to know she was here celebrating her divorce being finalized.

"Guess not." Mulder smiled back.

Scully looked around suddenly feeling confused. "No Langly or Byers?"

Frohike smiled before answering. "No they had a date."

Mulder half laughed and half choked on his scotch. Frohike joined him in his mirth, slapping his friend on the back to stop him choking.

"Am I missing something?" Scully asked confused.

"I'll explain later." Mulder laughed, catching his breath.

Scully began slightly moving from foot to foot in an attempt to adjusting the pressure on her aching feet. Mulder saw her discomfort immediately and placed a supportive hand at her elbow. "You okay?"

"Fine." Scully replied trying unsuccessfully to hide her pain.

"Would you like to get a table?" Mulder asked seeing a booth become available.

"Sure." Lizzy jumped at the chance. "She has been complaining all evening about her aching feet."

Scully's free elbow stabbed out unceremoniously jabbing her friend in the side before she innocently addressed Mulder and Frohike. "Sure we wouldn't be ruining your evening?"

Frohike fielded the question. "How could spending time with two exquisite ladies such as yourselves possibly ruin an evening?"

That decided Mulder guided Scully towards the vacant booth with his hand at the small of her back. Frohike stepped to Lizzy's side and gallantly ushered her after them. Scully slid into the booth first and Mulder slid in opposite her.

"So, Beth... how do you two know each other?" Mulder asked conversationally as Lizzy slipped into the booth next to her friend.

"Oh, we go way back. We've known each other since we were little girls." Lizzy answered happily. "We've stayed best friends ever since."

"Really?" Mulder stated defensively. "Scully's never mentioned you."

"Mulder?" Scully hissed her displeasure at his tone before looking to Lizzy. She seemed slightly taken aback by the tone in his voice so Scully comforted her. "We don't often talk about our personal lives."

Mulder winced, hurt and offended by Scully's statement and was unable to hide his swift intake of breath.

Scully reached over and touched Mulder's hand reassuringly. "We're normally too busy chasing after little grey men." Scully added smiling to Mulder before looking back to Lizzy.

"Aren't they green?" Lizzy asked confused.

"Grey." Mulder and Scully confirmed in unison inciting a round of laughter on their table.

"So..." Mulder stated addressing Lizzy, he was confused by her sudden presence in his partner's life. "Are you a fellow agent?"

Lizzy and Scully both started laughing. "Gosh no!" Lizzy replied smiling to her friend. "Dana was always the tomboy I was more of a girlie girl."

Mulder stiffened at Lizzy's faux pas but Scully seemed unaffected.

"I'm in cosmetology, hair and makeup."

Mulder's head whipped round to Scully so fast she was afraid he might get whiplash. She smiled at him reassuringly before holding her hands up and wiggling her fingers, displaying her nails. "It means I get free manicures."

"And facials, massages, pedicures, styling... I keep trying to encourage her to use more of our services. We all need pampering every now and then, right?" Lizzy asked lifting her olive to her lips to suck.

"Right." Mulder agreed. He turned to Frohike to try and include him more in the conversation but saw all his friends attention focused on Lizzy's olive so he continued. "What got you interested in that line of work?"

"Oh it's just a little thing." Lizzy dismissed the question.

"Little?" Scully choked. "She runs five beauty salons, number six is opening next year and she has her own range of nail products available commercially."

Lizzy blushed. It was true but she wasn't one to brag.

"Impressive. How did that happen?"

"Well it didn't start off that way. I got my doctorate in computer sciences and used it with my masters in chemistry to help me develop a compound that actually strengthened and ... well, it helped me create a revolution in the cosmetics world."

"You have a doctorate in computer sciences and a masters degree in chemistry?" Frohike asked in awe.

"Yep. I still use computer programming at work but it is more of a hobby for me now. Working in computing can be such a solitary occupation and I've always preferred to be a little more hands on." She stated lifting Mulder's hand into her own. "Nice." She murmured before returning her attention to Frohike. Taking his hand into her own, she examined his nails. "You could do with a little attention. I'd be happy to give you a manicure. Free of charge of course."

"Uh, thanks but I think I'll have to pass." Frohike blushed. "I don't think the guys would let me live something like that down." Lizzy smiled as Frohike swallowed back the rest of his scotch before catching the attention of the waitress. "Beer please, two martinis and a..." Frohike looked to Mulder.

"Another scotch." Mulder smiled realising that Frohike was unintentionally probably trying to redefine himself in his masculine status.

"Thank you." Lizzy smiled before grabbing her purse. "Excuse me, I just need to freshen up. Danes?"

"Right behind you." Scully smiled grabbing her own purse. Both Frohike and Mulder stood chivalrously as Lizzy and Scully exited the booth.

As soon as the ladies were out of sight Frohike slumped back onto the bench. "Do you think I offended her?"

"I think she was more amused than offended." Mulder replied smiling.

"Do you think they'll come back?" Frohike asked unsure.

"Of course they will, its Scully."

"I don't know if you noticed what she was wearing tonight but that certainly wasn't the Agent Scully I know." Frohike declared.

Mulder smiled. "Oh, I definitely noticed what she was wearing... I'm sure they'll come back." Frohike looked unconvinced. "Would you like me to go and check they haven't escaped out the back door?"

Frohike nodded his reply and smiled his thanks.

"Man, and people call me paranoid." Mulder muttered as he headed towards the toilets.


Authors Notes – This story was originally going to be a one shot but once I got typing I just couldn't stop :) Anyways, I decided to split it down into two easy to read chapters for your convenience.

Let me know what you think of this chapter. The concluding chapter is already in my inbox, beta'd and ready to post. Just leave me a review or two and I will post it :)

Thank you (as always) Enpauriel for the Beta.