Author's Note: Yeah, it's been a while since I last updated. Sorry about that. I've been busy reading Breaking Dawn, and other fanfics and such. Also, since I ordered by the internet, I only got the host a couple of days ago. And really, I don't see why people keep dissing Breaking Dawn. So it was a little unexpected... isn't that a good thing? And I like the name Renesmee, so grr! Anyway, onwards with today's story.

The Cullens (excluding Bella) are vampires, and Charlie knows about it. There is no Renesmee, and Jacob is still somewhere in Canada. Post Eclipse. Can be after or before the wedding, it doesn't really make much of a difference.


(a.k.a. Emmett and the Kangaroo)


I cannot believe we're going to the zoo. We, being Edward, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Charlie and I. Rosalie and Esme had gone hunting, and were probably going to return sometime next week, as they had gone all the way up to northern Canada. Charlie had suggested it, saying that he had never gotten to take his little girl anywhere for a long time. Hello? Said little girl is eighteen years old, not to mention has an amazing boyfriend that has taken her to all the major attractions in the state of Washington, and even some in Florida. Besides, Charlie had never actually taken me anywhere but to La Push, and that was so that he could fish with Billy. But, now that I think about it, we had never gone to the zoo with the Cullens before. I wonder why that was. Did Edward have a severe allergy to monkeys or something? Maybe it was the rabbits. The snakes? Probably the donkeys. Do they have donkeys at zoos? Do vampires even have allergies? I pondered this as we drove towards the Seattle Zoo. (If there isn't, let's pretend there's a zoo in Seattle, and if there is one, let's pretend it's called the Seattle Zoo, okay? Makes things much easier for the author of this story, plus, its summer vacation and I don't exactly feel like doing any research at the moment.)

"Hey, Emmett," my dad said, "Do you know what Bella used to do when she was little?" He was chuckling already, before the story was even past his lips. Great, I thought. More 'let's humiliate Bella' stories. Ever since Charlie had found out about the Cullens' uh... vampire-ness, he had taken to swapping embarrassing stories starring the one and only Bella Swan with Emmett. Emmett, in turn, would tell him about all the stupid things I'd done since I'd met him. Like the time where they were playing baseball and I had insisted on playing (why, oh why, did I ever do that?) and crashed into a tree when trying to catch the ball. Then, I had to get rushed to the emergency room to get stitches on the side of my head. Sometimes I regret hanging out with the rest of the Cullens (namely, Emmett!).

I ignored my dad, and even though I only heard these three words, 'Bella,' 'Flush', and 'Scared,' a blush started creeping up on me. Charlie was probably telling the story of how I used to flush the toilet then run away because of the noise. What? I was three. Plus it sounded sort of like a storm or something... Guh! Well, at least it wasn't Renée. She'd have WAY more embarrassing stories to tell. I was out of it for a while, as I remembered certain facts about my scatter brained mother, and some of my child hood memories.

"We're here!" Alice's voice suddenly called out. Good. If I had to be stuck inside of Emmett's huge jeep with my dad for a minute longer, I was going to explode, literally.

Once Edward had bought and paid for the tickets—not to mention, dazzling the thirty-ish year old lady who was selling them—we entered the park. I could hear various animal noises, as well as the excited cries of small children, and their parents shushing them. It was about nine o' clock in the morning, and I was hoping for the clouds to lift so that there would be a nice day, though at the same time, I didn't want the Cullens to start sparkling...

"Where should we go first?" Jasper spoke up for the first time that day. I had a feeling he was trying to make a good impression with Charlie or something, which I didn't really see the point of.

"Hey, let's go see the lions!" Emmett said, and then laughed. "Eddie, you better have hunted before we came here." Somehow, he made that sound like the 'Bella, you better have gone to the bathroom before we came' line that Renée had always used on me.

"Alright then, let's go!" Charlie said cheerfully. A bit too cheerful... hmm...

As we approached the vast amount of land which was supposed to look like an African safari housing the lions, I heard a roar. At first, thinking it was the lions; I rushed up to them to see. But all I saw were a couple of lions sleeping at the bottom of a small hill, under a shaded tree. Looking around, I saw that it was Emmett. He had been the one roaring. Well, now he was laughing at my reaction. I would've slapped him if that didn't guarantee me a bruise. Granted, he was rather talented at lion imitations, but nevertheless, it was quite annoying.

Next we went to see the bears (which again, Emmett was very excited to see), the tigers (which Alice claimed were 'so cute!' though I just thought that they looked vicious), the cheetahs, the rhinos and elephants, and as we neared noon, we drew near to the Reptile House. I saw hundreds of different species of snakes, lizards, and even a crocodile at some point. There were also lots of fish, and the whole place was very dark. It must be nearing the eighties outside—a very rare nice day, which I appreciated, though it meant the Cullens had to stay in the shadows. It was getting hot in this air conditioned room, even with four vampires beside me.

As we came out of the reptile house, Edward reminded me of my stomach. As it turns out, I was hungry. And so was Charlie, so we stopped at a pizza place a few yards from the reptile house. I ordered a slice of pepperoni, and laughed at Edward's expression as I ate the pizza. He looked absolutely disgusted, which is what I had been aiming for. There were a couple of seagulls eyeing my pizza crust, and I glared back at them. Emmett found this exchange to be quite amusing, and I stuck out my tongue at him... yeah, very mature, I know.. Twenty minutes later, we were up and at 'em again.

We saw the ostriches, as well as a couple of tropical looking birds, and it was around three o' clock by the time we got to the kangaroos. I should've known that this would not go well, especially with our resident four-year-old in a (big) twenty-year-old's body, Emmett. The two kangaroos' were having what looked like a kick boxing competition, and Emmett of course, wanted to join them.

"Hey dudes!" he yelled, jumping right into the caged area.

The kangaroos each jumped back about five feet, and started hopping away quicker than I would've thought possible. Emmett, of course didn't get that the kangaroos didn't want to wrestle him, and chased after them.

"Hey! Come back here, man! Yeah you're just too chicken to face THE EMMETT CULLEN!! Yeah baby!" he cried at them. One of the kangaroos turned around, appearing to be angered by Emmett's display of macho-ism. I should've stopped him there, but what could I do?

It charged at Emmett, and he lost his balance momentarily. Crashing into a large pine tree, he brought the whole tree down on himself. CR-AACK!! Whoa. He hopped back up onto his feet quickly, and scowled at the kangaroo. By now, we had attracted quite an audience—mostly little kids wanting to see 'the big man fight the kan-a-ooh'.

"Emmett, stop!" Alice said, jumping up and down to see over the sea of heads.

"Oh, you're gonna get it now, Mr. Kangaroo!" Emmett said, lunging at it.

The crowd was silenced when he bit the kangaroo in the butt. Of course, he had enough sense not to actually make it bleed, but not much more than that. Charlie, who had been in the bathroom, came charging out at the commotion he heard. He was still fastening his pants when he came up to the cage.

"Emmett?" he asked, surprised. I guess he expected it to be some type of burglar or something, though who would steal a kangaroo I don't know.

"Uh, yeah Chief?" Emmett asked with a sheepish expression, loosening his hold on the kangaroo's butt.

"Let go of the kangaroo slowly..." he said, humoring Emmett.

Of course, Emmett didn't let go. "No way, dudes! I'm about to finish this guy!"

At that point, both Edward and Jasper practically flew into the cage to stop Emmett from killing the kangaroo. The audience was stunned. They never actually saw the two of them move, and suddenly there were three men in cage, one biting a kangaroo's backside. I could just imagine how this looked like for them. Charlie had somehow gotten hold of a gun, and was waving it madly in the air, shouting, 'No, Emmett, no!" Alice was looking dazed, though I knew she was probably having a vision. Edward and Jasper were each holding one of Emmett's arms back and were pulling him back from the poor kangaroo, which was probably traumatized by now.

Then, this had to be the moment that one of the zoo staff showed up. He was wearing one of those bright orange vests that stuck out in any occasion. He had a bullhorn in his hand, and was angrily shouting at 'you people in there with the kangaroos'. Charlie rushed over to explain, and I just sat there. One minute we were just watching the kangaroos, and the next, we were getting arrested for 'animal cruelty'. I mean, what?! And Emmett was no help either. He was still jumping up and down in joy of 'defeating that damn rodent.' (Is a kangaroo a rodent? It kinda looks like one. Correct me if I'm wrong, though, please)

Well. All I can say is wow. I learned two lessons today. One, there is never an ordinary day when you spend it with the Cullens. Two, never, ever take Emmett to the zoo.

Ending Author's Note: how was that? I know this chapter was shorter than usual, well, actually, it was incredibly short, even after the edit. Sorry about that! I hope you enjoyed that though. Imagine Emmett and a kangaroo wrestling... it makes me laugh, lol. Yeah. Please review!! :)