Title: Sheets

Author: Acmarache

Rating: T for implied stuff

Pairing: Urahara/Ichigo

Spoilers: Yes, for Isshin's secret!

Disclaimer: Not mine

Prompt: Sheets that have been hanging outside to dry (courtesy of conjure-lass)

I hope this is enjoyable for you conjure-lass!

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"Kisuke?"

Said blond looked up from the report he had been half-heartedly flipping through in the courtyard behind his shop. "Hmm?"

"Why do you have sheets hanging up outside to dry? Is your dryer broken or something?" Isshin asked a little stumped. Normally, if something wasn't working, Kisuke could fix it in no time.

"Um, no." Kisuke replied setting down the report and sitting up a little straighter.

Man, Kisuke was acting really weird. "Then why are you drying them like this?" Looking towards the sheets, Isshin caught notice of a tub of soapy water and one with just water. "Did you hand wash them too?" He asked incredulously.

"Um, yes?" He was getting more and more uncomfortable with the situation , and he wished his friend would just revert back to his insane self.

"Why?"

"Because, I didn't want Ururu or Tessai to have to." Good. Now, hopefully Isshin would take that information and label him as a good Samaritan for the day and drop the subject.

"What did you do to the sheets?" Isshin asked in exasperation knowing his old friend wouldn't do anything unless it benefited him. Getting up from the porch, he made his way over to the sheets to run a quick inspection. Close to the middle, something caught his eye. "Is that a stain? Kisuke, you old pervert, did you do the dirty deed with someone?" Isshin's voice was now filled with mirth. When Kisuke didn't answer, he assumed he just wanted more attention on his conquest. Well, in this situation, he would give it to him. "Well, who was it? Was is it that busty lieutenant? No? Hmmm. Who could it have been?"

Kisuke froze when he felt a painfully familiar spirit energy approach. Silently, he willed the boy to turn around and come back later. When he felt the boy enter the shop, he knew his prayers had been futile.

Oblivious to the situation taking place, Ichigo quickly made his way out back where he knew the blond was. "Hey, Kisuke! Good news. The old man is gone and….." The words died in the teen's mouth when he caught sight of his now half-horrified, half-outraged looking father.

Time seemed to stop for the moment only to return to its natural order when Kisuke cursed under his breath.

"Kisuke?" Isshin's voice held a dangerous edge to it now.

"Yes?" Said blond attempted to sound as innocent as possible. He was so doomed.

Gesturing to the sheets, Isshin continued through gritted teeth. "Is that stain from you and my son?"

"Yes?" Jumping up quickly, Kisuke moved to hide behind Ichigo. "But I assure you he completely enjoyed it!"

Turning in disbelief to look at his lover, Ichigo muttered, "I really don't think that's going to help."

Seeing the madness in Isshin's eyes, Kisuke made one last attempt to save himself. "Would it help if I mentioned that after next week he's no longer jail bait?"

Isshin seemed to actually stop and consider it for a moment, and Kisuke held his breath while repenting to God for all the terrible things he had done in this life and the last. "True, but he's still jail bait right now."

"Dammit."

"Kisuke?"

"Yes?"

"You better hope you're still better than me at shunpo."