Title : Caroline and the Small Potatoes from Wisconsin
Author : Karen Gomes (pyrie@hotmail.com)
Rating : G or PG
Type : Prose (Caroline in the City/The X-Files Crossover)
Spoilers : Probably...shrugs
Disclaimer : I am using these characters/premises without permission, but intend no copyright infringement. In other words, PLEASE don't sue me!
Notes : This is (was) my first attempt at a crossover, so if it sucks, oh well. It's a little odd - I'm still trying to comprehend it myself, but whatcha going to do? Heh. As always, criticism is welcome.


Caroline and the Small Potatoes from Wisconsin

Cumberland Reformatory

Eddie stood nervously and then looked at his mop and bucket. «I really should get to work.» He thought as he sighed and hummed a little tune to himself. "The something is a show...with music by Mark Snow." He sung to himself.
«Where have I heard that from?»
Suddenly, from a dark room, a silhouette of a figure appeared. The mystery person's voice was deep. Deep enough to conceal it's identity. "Mr. Van Blundht...do you know who I am?" A small cloud of smoke traveled through the air as the words escaped the figure's mouth.
Eddie coughed as the smoke surrounded his face, making him dizzy and
his eyes watery. "No...I can't see you."
"Let's just say I play a prominent role in a Government conspiracy." The figure took another puff and dropped the cigarette on the floor. "A conspiracy to cover up the truth. I know the answers to the world's most puzzling questions. Now do you know who I am?"
Eddie stepped on the cigarette butt and put it out. Then it struck him. He knew all along who it was. He squinted his eyes, trying to get a better look at the person, just to make sure. "I know.." Eddie grinned.
The figure stood still, like a statue. "Who?" Was all the mystery
person said.
"I recognize those manly features anywhere. That deep voice, who could forget it?" Eddie took a step closer. "Janet Reno!"
The dark figure shook his head. Then paused, almost as if considering Eddie's answer, then shook his head again.

Caroline's Loft

Richard sighed and fetched himself another cup of coffee. "Geez, I feel like one of the President's interns--I do all the work." Richard said out loud, to no one in particular.
Annie barged in...uninvited as usual. "Hey there Richie. How goes? That's good. Caroline's not back? Too bad. How's Julia. Dead? Really? No? Too Bad. Bye." Annie said, as she went to the fridge, got some food and exited.
Richard rolled his eyes and went back to work. «I bet Annie would make a good intern.» He thought to himself.

Caroline's Loft

Richard started packing his things. Caroline wasn't due back from her parent's house until tomorrow. «I could leave early.» He smirked to himself. «Annie's probably busy sleeping around, Del cruising for women, Charlie--God knows what...I'm free.» Richard grinned and headed for the door. Just as he reached for the door knob, it opened.

Mulder's Office

Mulder leaned back in his chair, watching the television. He grinned a few times and took a sip of his coffee. "This is great." He said out loud.
Scully turned her head and looked at Mulder. "Geez Mulder, you aren't watching another one of your dirty movies again, are you?"
"No...and call it what you want, Scully. I call it art." Mulder retorted as he shot a glance in Scully's direction.
Scully shook her head and sighed to herself. "I can't wait to get my *own* office."
Mulder met her eyes. "Why do you want your own office?"
"Come on Mulder, there's no privacy here. And aren't you tired of having me here all the time?" Scully looked deep into Mulder's eyes.
What could he say? Mulder averted his attention back to the television. "Some things are better left unsaid, Scully."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Scully got up and walked over to Mulder. She glanced at the television and raised her eyebrow. "Looney Tunes?"
The corner of Mulder's lips curved slightly upwards, but his eyes remained glued to the television set. "Ooh, you make me very angry, very angry indeed." He said, in a not-so-perfect imitation of Marvin the Martian.

Caroline's Loft

Richard sighed in relief. "Oh, hello Caroline. I wasn't going home early...I was just..uh..what are *you* doing back so early?" Richard asked, trying to change the subject.
"Back early?" Caroline asked as she took of her coat.
"Yeah, from your parents house, in Wisconsin?" Richard said. "Weren't you there?"
"Of course, silly!" Caroline said with a forced laugh. "Where else could I have been?"
Richard raised his eyebrow and sat on the couch. He couldn't possibly go home now. Besides, he was kind of glad she was home again. He had missed her a lot. «And Julia can wait.» He said to himself. «She sees me everyday anyway.»
"So..everything is finished up?" Caroline asked as she opened a cupboard and peered in.
Caroline opened another cupboard and standing on her tippy-toes, looked in. "Where do I keep the glasses?"
"Caroline, are you feeling okay?" Richard walked up to Caroline and stood beside her.
"Yeah...I just can't remember, that's all." Caroline said, taking a tiny step back.
Richard looked at her, then turned and opened a cupboard. "Here." He said, handing her a glass. "Shall we get back to work?"
Caroline hesitated for a moment. "Um..well I'm very tired from my flight back and I'm not much in the mood. You want to just sit and talk?"
"Well, I don't know.." Richard started, as he walked over to the couch. "..I mean, Julia is expecting me home soon."
"Julia?" Caroline walked over to Richard, and stood in front of him.
"Mm-hmm.." Richard paused. "My wife, Caroline? Remember her?" Richard sat down on the couch.
Caroline bit her lower lip. "Now or never." She thought to herself. Caroline sat on Richard's lap; facing him. "Can't you feel the physical attraction, Richard? Can't you feel it?"
Richard sat there in awe. The woman he was secretly in love with, after all these years, was sitting there, on his lap. He held his breath, not knowing what to do. "Caroline.."
"Shh..Richard. Talking doesn't do us any good." Caroline leaned forward and went to place her lips on his. She could feel his warm breath against her mouth.
Richard started to panic. "Caroline, this isn't right. I-I'm married."
Caroline kept on going. Finally, their lips met. The kiss became more and more intense. Richard grabbed hold of the couch as Caroline placed her hand at the back of Richard's head, drawing him in. She finally ended the kiss, only to have Richard hungrily reach for her mouth.
At first, Richard didn't know how to react, finally, he brought his arms around her waist. He pulled her closer, until their bodies touched.
The door swung open and Caroline stood there. Not believing what she saw. "Holy sh--"
"--Caroline?" Richard cut her off. He looked at the Caroline sitting on his lap, and then the one at the door. "Wha-?"

Mulder's Office

Scully walked in and found Mulder talking to Assistant Director Skinner. "Sir?" She asked.
"Agent Scully, I was just informing Agent Mulder that there was a very bizarre case that has just been reported.
"Remember Eddie Van Blundht?" Mulder paused. "Of course you remember him Scully..you almost slept with him."
Scully shot Mulder a menacing look. He grinned and she shook her head. "What about him, Mulder?"
Skinner jumped in. "He escaped, Agent Scully."
"Escaped?" Scully didn't understand. "How could he, sir? That was a maximum security reformatory."
"Well, it turns out he walked out of there..with you, Scully." Mulder said.
"But..I...?" Scully's eyes shifted back and forth from Skinner to Mulder.
"Scully.." Mulder began as he put one arm around her shoulder, "..we are assuming that you didn't. That maybe he has another allie who's capable of changing their face."
The trio stood there in silence, merely exchanging worried glances.

Caroline's Loft

"Okay, so let me get this straight," Richard said, "you say *you* are the real Caroline, while *you*," Richard pointed to the other Caroline, "say you are the real Caroline." Richard took of his glasses and rubbed his tired eyes. "Great..this gets us nowhere."
"Caroline..I heard you were back from Wis..con.." Annie stood at the door in shock. "Uh..." She looked at Richard then back at the two Carolines.
"Annie..there might be a problem." Richard stated.
"Annie, I'm your best-friend. Don't you know me? I'm the real one, right?" One Caroline stood up and said.
The other Caroline stood up. "No-no! It's me. I went to Wisconsin, to visit my folks."
"Okay, both of you, sit down." Richard said, putting his glasses back on.
"Reechard." Julia walked in.
"Oh no.." Richard threw his hands up in the air.
"I have been waiting for you for so long at Remo's." Julia looked at both the Caroline's sitting on the couch. "Reechard? What is going on? You love her so much, you had her cloned?" Julia crossed her arms and glared at Richard.
"Yeah..I'm sure that's the case." Annie said sarcastically, as she patted Julia on the back. "Listen..I have to..uh..do something in my apartment. I'll be right back."
"Really Annie, did you leave your date un-supervised?" Richard said, as he tried to avoid Julia's evil eye.
Annie took off and left. "It will help, trust me."

Mulder's Office

Mulder and Scully were discussing the current case. "I think it could be a family member, Scully." Mulder said, pausing to see Scully's reaction. He took a deep breath and continued. "Because, you said that this thing is genetic. The tail and everything?"
"Yes, but Mulder..there must be a reasonable scientific explanation for this." Scully said, skeptical as usual.
"There is Scully, you examined it yourself. We couldn't explain the motives, but Eddie could change his appearance due to an extra muscle in his body."
Scully went to open her mouth, but then stopped.
Mulder grinned. He got her..he knew it. "Gotcha." He said, with a smirk.
Scully flashed her *warning* look. "It won't happen again, I promise." She said as her cell-phone rang. "Scully." She said, answering it. She paused and then nodded her head. "Okay..yes sir." She pushed the off button and looked at Mulder. "Looks like we're headed to the Big Apple."

Caroline's Loft

Richard was tired. He had spent most of the evening trying to figure out what to do with both Carolines. He was though, turned on in a way. He grinned to himself only to notice Julia glaring at him. His grin faded and he took a sip of his coffee.
"You are loving this, aren't you, Reechard? But it does not strike you as odd, having two women who are exactly alike?" Julia frowned and noticed that her husband wasn't paying attention to what she was saying. "Even identical twins can be identified in a way. But now, it is impossible." Julia looked at her husband again. "Would you stop admiring them!?" She yelled as she hit him on his shoulder.
The two Carolines were sitting on the couch. "Man, I didn't plan on my evening turning out like this." The first one said to the other. The Caroline on the right turned and looked at Richard. "Married...poor guy."
"Why are you doing this?" The one on the left said.
The Caroline on the right looked at Richard from the corner of her eye. He was looking this way. "He must have heard." She thought to herself. "What do you mean, *why am I doing this?*" She raised her eyebrow. "Why are *you* doing this?"
The Caroline on the left gasped. "How dare you!" She got up and walked over to her drafting table. "One way to decide this." She said and took out a paper and a pencil. "Here..the one who can draw Caroline in the City cartoon is the real one." She placed her hands on her hips. "And Richard, since you are the one who has spent the most time with my strip, you be the judge."
"Now wait a minute." The other interrupted. "How do I know that you haven't spent most of your time trying to copy my cartoon?"
Richard stepped forward. "I could tell the difference."
"Okay," said the first Caroline, "we'll both go at the same time."
"Right;" the other chimed in, "so there'll be no copying."

Caroline's Apartment Building - The Entrance

Annie stood patiently at the door. "Where are they.." She asked herself. Finally she saw two figures. "Hey..glad you could make it..what took you so long?" She asked.
Scully went and hugged Annie. "Long time no see."
"I know! Last time we saw eachother was at the Highschool reunion!" Annie said, with a glimmer in her eye.
Both of them paused then jumped up in the air, singing "Goooooooo Jack Rabbits!" They almost collapsed laughing.
Mulder stood there with a worried expression.
Annie tried to stop laughing. "We were both cheerleaders for our school. That's how we met. We've been keeping in contact, but it's been ages since we've seen eachother." Annie tried to regain her posture. "Which, by the way, you seemed to have made the wait *even* longer! What gives?"
Mulder stepped in. "We were late because Scully's little legs couldn't reach the pedals." He grinned.
Scully rolled her eyes. "Don't mind him, Annie." She shook her head and looked around. "So why did you call my Assistant Director? He said you didn't give much detail over the phone.." Scully waited a while for a response. "Annie..? Annie?" She looked over her shoulder to find Annie flirting with Mulder. Then, like a lighting bolt, it hit her. Jealousy.
"So...FBI huh?" Annie grinned. "Does that stand for what I think it stands for?" She let out a small laugh. "Something about Investigating Female Bodies?"
Mulder laughed a bit. "Here and there..we do some *out of the world* body investigations."
Scully was beginning to get furious. «But why?» She asked herself. «Because he's my...» She paused a bit. «..my..» She blinked a couple of times. «..my partner?» She looked over at them, flirting. «She always got the men.» But she couldn't control her jealousy. She never could. "Damn it Annie, did you call me here to simply flirt with my partner? Because if so, I'll call a cab home."
"Ooh..Scully ain't happy..she's been a little iffy these past days." Mulder told Annie.
"Look, is there a reason or not?" Scully asked, impatiently.
"Yes, oh yes there is one." Annie guided them to the elevator. "Ooh, you are going to *love* this one!" She said, with a smirk.
They all stepped on the elevator. As the doors closed, Mulder blurted out "*You* were a cheerleader?"

Caroline's Loft

Richard took a look at both drawings. "Okay..I was wrong. I still can't tell who is who."
Both the Carolines and Julia sighed at once. "This is taking an eternity." One of the Carolines said.
"Reechard, that is the fourth pair of drawings that you looked at." Julia said. "I am tired."
"Then go home, Julia. I'll meet you there." Richard said, in an exasperate tone.
She sighed loudly. "Fine..good night." She said and slammed the door behind her.
"Good-night Julia." One of the Carolines said, to the closed door.
Then there was a knocking at the door. (Quote the Raven: Never more) "FBI. Open up!" Mulder voice echoed in the hallway.
Richard opened the door. "FBI? You got to be kidding."
"Read it in the week, Richie my boy." Annie said, as she stepped in. "Okay, this is Dana Scully and this is--"
"Hey!" Annie was interrupted by Del. "Oooh!" He stopped and looked at Scully. "You are one *foxy* looking lady." He said as she rolled her eyes.
"Actually, he's a fox.." Annie said deviously, pointing to Mulder. "Really, his name is *Fox* Mulder."
"Oh great, all we need is a Luke Picard from Star Trek and three geeks and it will be an authentic Sci-Fi convention." Richard said in a monotone voice.
"Your name is Fox Mulder? Can I see your badge?" Charlie asked as he skated in.
Richard looked at Charlie, Del and Annie who were observing Mulder's ID card. "Well, all we're missing now is the guy from Star Trek."

Caroline's Loft

Richard looked at his watch. "Time sure does fly when you are having *fun*."
"Okay, we've listened to both stories and came to the conclusion that, we don't know who the hell is who." Scully said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"How are you familiar with this sort of case?" Richard asked, out of the blue.
"Well," Mulder stepped in, "the was once this case with a certain Edward Van Blundht..he could physically change his appearance due to an extra muscle in his body, apparently that runs in his family."
"Well.." Scully cut in, "..we aren't quite sure about the face changing bit running in his family. But for certain, from his dad's side, they all had tails and extra muscle."
«Van Blundht..» Richard thought to himself. «Why does that sound so familiar?» Richard took a deep breath. "I know how.." he said, looking at both Carolines, "..to tell them apart."
"How?" Scully asked, walking up to Richard.
"Well, I have kissed both of them.." He paused and noticed that Scully was looking at him funny. "Both in Caroline form, of course. I could definitely tell who is who-I know Caroline's kiss."
Scully nodded. "Go for it."
The two Carolines were sitting patiently on the couch. "What do you think they are going to do?" The first said to the second.
"I don't know.." The other answered..a little nervous.
Scully stepped in front of both of them. "Alright..it has come to my attention that the *fake* Caroline doesn't want to come forward. So, Richard has decided to help. He *apparently* has kissed both of you..in Caroline form. And he knows how to distinguish the *real* Caroline kiss from the other. So, put two and two together ladies."
"You kissed other women, even though you are married?" Mulder asked Richard.
"How did you know I was married?"
Mulder snickered and looked at Scully. "I met your wife when we got off the elevator. Very foxy.."
Richard walked over to the couch. "I thought you were the fox.." He said over his shoulder. He sighed..and looked at both Carolines. "Okay.."
"Reechard." The door flew open. "You are still here?" Julia asked, peeved as hell.
"Julia," Annie broke in, "these matters aren't solved easily."
"I-I can't do this with *her* there.." Richard said, hesitantly.
Julia walked up to Richard and put her arms around his neck. She whispered something in his ear. "Do you still love me?"
Scully noticed that both the Carolines looked away when Richard put his arms around Julia's waist. "Hmm..the both seem to be attracted to this man."
"Look Julia...I have to finish something..maybe you should wait outside." Richard said, as he dropped his arms from her waist.
"Because he is going to kiss them.." Charlie said, as he skated by.
Everyone in the room held their breath, waiting for Julia to explode. But she didn't. "I'll wait here.." Was all she said.
Richard walked over to the first Caroline. She got up and put her arms around his neck. "You first, huh?" He said quietly. Richard closed his eyes and their lips met. The kiss was passionate and Richard put his arms around her waist.
"This is taking too long." Julia said. She sighed and watched..like everyone else.
Richard kept on kissing her. He couldn't stop himself. Even though he didn't know if it was the real one or not, the simple idea of Caroline was all that kept him going. Until..until he heard a gasp or two. When he opened his eyes, he saw her. "Sh-Shelly?" He said. He backed away and looked at her.
Caroline got up from the couch and looked at her. "It was you?" She looked at Richard and the rest of the room. Everyone was in shock.
"Of course..Shelly Van Blundht...that's where I remembered the name from." Richard paused. "But why?"
Shelly shrugged. "I thought that..we could still have something. But you seem to be married...and in love with.." Shelly turned and looked at Caroline.
Caroline looked at Julia and then at Richard. "..with his wife." She said, trying to finish Shelly's sentence.
"Boy..she isn't as dumb as we thought her to be.." Annie said to Del.
Scully stepped in. "So is Eddie Van Blundht your brother?"
Shelly nodded. "But I don't know where he is. We made a deal; he showed me how to change faces because it ran in our family and I get him out of there." Shelly sighed. "I heard he was living somewhere in England. Manchester I think."
Mulder turned towards Richard who was drinking some scotch. "Are you pressing charges, Mr. Karinsky?"
Richard looked at Shelly and shook his head. "No, not necessary." He took another sip.
Scully escorted Shelly out in handcuffs for questioning and Mulder followed. "Bye Annie." Scully called over her shoulder. "Hope to hear from you soon."
"Bye Dana." Annie yelled out. "Bye Fox." She said in a sexy voice.
"He likes to be called Mulder, Annie." Scully said. "It's his twisted humour."


Shelly leaned against the wall. "It was hard to do your face, Agent Scully." She said. "I only had a picture."
Scully gasped. "Your brother had a picture of me?"
"Yeah, he told me Agent Mulder gave it to him. Shelly said, pointing to Mulder.
Mulder whistled innocently and turned and looked at Scully. "You know, you're beautiful when you are pissed." He said with a smirk.
Scully rolled her eyes and looked back at him. «I know why I was jealous,» she said to herself, «because..just because.» She smiled and kissed him on the lips.
After the kiss Mulder straightened his tie. "Would you have slept with me if you knew I gave him a nude picture of you?" Mulder was then rewarded by a hit on the shoulder.

Caroline's Loft

"So..what now?" Caroline asked.
"Divorce..Caroline my heart was never in that marriage. You had it all along." Richard said, looking into Caroline's eyes.
"Aww!" Charlie, Annie and Del said simultaneously.
"Okay, everyone out!" Caroline said. "Richard, could you run and get my laundry, it's outside the laundry room, downstairs."
"Sure." Richard said. He paused, looking at Caroline almost hesitantly. "Caroline..." He said, trying to get her attention. When she finally looked at him, he leaned forward ever so gently, softly caressing her lips with his own. C
Caroline pushed her tongue in, exploring his mouth. Her arms gently glided up and down his back, as his hands cupped her face. Finally, they broke the kiss. Both of them were breathing hard, and Caroline gazed into Richard's eyes. She licked her lips, and in a deep, sexy voice, she whispered into Richard's ear "My laundry..."
Richard shivered. "Who knew the word laundry could sound so erotic?" He said, taking in deep breaths as he rushed out of Caroline's apartment.

Laundry Room

Richard walked down with a smile on his face. He hoped he would be doing this more often. The he heard a noise. It was coming from a closet. The noise was muffled, he could barely hear it. "Hello?" Richard said. He opened the door and found a man tied up in there.
"Please, help me.." The man cried out.

Caroline's Loft

Caroline waited patiently, finally Richard opened the door. "Thought you weren't going to show..what took?" She asked, kissing him.
"Slow elevator." He said. "Shall we?" He said, pointing at the stairs.
Caroline smiled then paused. "Did you hear something?"
"Must have been my heart calling out to you." Richard said, with a smile.
"Come on, Romeo." Caroline said, holding Richard's hand as they ascended to her room.

Mulder's Office

Mulder started typing on his computer: Eddie Van Blundht is still out there..where, we don't know. We have sent agents to all the known place his sister could think off, but I believe she is suckering us. For all we know, there could be many other *Eddies* out there. Meanwhile, as we wait for Eddie to surface and show one of his faces, his sister, Shelly, is under constant watch at The Cumberland Reformatory. We think that Eddie may come and help her escape, so extra security is appointed to her. All we can do is wait. Mulder paused when he heard a voice.
Scully emerged from Mulder's room, wearing his bathrobe. "Come to bed Mulder." She told him, in that sexy voice that he had always loved.
"Coming." He told her, and finished up typing.We continue our search for Edward Van Blundht. At this time, he could be anywhere. For all we know, he could be right under our nose. Mulder closed up his laptop and joined Scully in his room.

Laundry Room - Closet

Richard tried to move. He couldn't. He was tied up to well. He should have known that it was *him*. Damn it, he even told him his first name! Why was he so slow at putting two and two together? And now, it had cost him, dearly. And a look alike was now taking Caroline for granted. His Caroline. "CAROLINE!! ANYBODY! HELP!" Richard called out. He prayed that someone would hear him. He prayed...