Jak and Daxter Bloopers

Jak and Daxter Bloopers

Jak X, Combat Racing

(When Daxter had started telling his story, Jak had gotten in his car and began to race. After a few seconds of driving, the car suddenly came to a stop)

JAK: Uh...

(He looked behind him and faced the camera again. He started to bounce in his seat and made car sound effects, pretending he was still racing)

JAK: Vroom, vroom, vrooooom. Beep beep boop beep, KABOOM!!

DAXTER: (walking into the shot) Having fun, Jak?

JAK: Actually...yes.

DIRECTOR: Cut!

-X-

DAXTER: Eh, hold on boys. My story's almost over.

(Razer throws his lit cigarette to the side and pulls out a switchblade)

RAZER: Yes it is!

(The cigarette catches one of the tables on fire)

RAZER: HOLY (beep)!!

(They move away from the window as Jak makes his entrance, oblivious to the flames)

JAK: Dax, get in the car!

DAXTER: Uh...Jak! Are you crazy?! You ruined my story!

(Jak turns around and notices the others move)

JAK: Now! ... (sniff)(sniff) Is something burning?

(The back of the car goes up in flames, as well as Jak's back)

DAXTER: Jak, your ass is on fire.

(Jak turns around and notices the flames about to engulf him)

JAK: Oh (beep)! Oh (beep)!

(Jak jumps out of the car and rolls around on the floor, trying to put out the flames. One of the stage crew members runs on set with a fire extinguisher and puts the fire out)

-X-

(The gang was waiting for Rayn to make her debut)

DAXTER: Who called us here, anyways?

KEIRA: Krew's daughter, Ray- Jak, stop chewing your fingernails! It's disgusting!

(Jak spits out a fingernail in Keira's direction and continues eating his fingers)

DAXTER: Hehe, good one, Big Guy.

DIRECTOR: Cut! Jak, don't eat your fingers. We have donuts in the back if you're hungry.

JAK: Force of habit.

DIRECTOR: Whatever. Just do it again.

-X-

DAXTER: Who called us here, anyways?

KEIRA: Krew's daughter, Rayn.

JAK: Krew had a- (cough)(cough). Krew had- (more coughing). Krew- (continuous coughing and gagging)

KEIRA: I TOLD you not to eat your fingernails. Now you're choking on one!

DAXTER: Can we get some water in here?

TORN: Maybe we should just speed up the scenes and just skip to the part where Rayn gives us the wine.

(A random producer walks on-set and hands Jak a cup of water)

JAK: (after drinking) Ok, I'm good.

DIRECTOR: One more time.

-X-

KEIRA: Krew's daughter, Rayn.

JAK: Krew had a daughter?

(Daxter doesn't says his line and ends up just snickering uncontrollably)

JAK: What's so funny?

DAXTER: I was waiting for the (cough)(cough).

DIRECTOR: We're gonna be here forever. Take five!

-X-

(Rayn had given the gang the wine to toast to Krew's death. Jak hesitates and drinks his)

RAYN: So without further delay-

(Jak turned his head and spat the wine out)

JAK: Oh my God! What the hell is the date on this crap?! You wouldn't even need to lace this with poison to kill someone! Hey director, are you trying to kill us?! What the (beep)?!

DIRECTOR: Jak, there's nothing wrong with the drink.

(Jak throws his cup down and gets out of his seat)

JAK: I'll show you "nothing wrong with the drink"!

(Jak walks off-screen and chases after the director. Daxter covers his mouth and falls over laughing)

ASHELIN: Well, that's Jak for ya.

(The director runs into the shot with Jak still on his tail and runs by the camera, causing Jak to run into it and hit his head and fall over)

TORN: Actually, that's Jak for ya.

JAK: (groaning) Aw, my face...

DAXTER: I'm surprised you're not used to it by now.

DIRECTOR: Uh...let's just...move on.

-X-

RAYN: My father provided everything we need to win. One of us can do it if we all-

ASHELIN: Your father got us into this mess. So zip it before I come over there and play daddy.

TORN: Meow.

(Ashelin and Rayn start snickering)

ASHELIN: (snickers) Dammit, Torn. You're screwing us up- (laughs)

(Jak whistles perversely)

-X-

(Jak was working on his car when Daxter walked onscreen. Before he had a chance to say his line, Jak flipped a wrench into the air and hit himself in the head)

JAK: God dammit!

DAXTER: Ok, how many times are you gonna hit yourself in the head on-set?!

JAK: Probably until I give myself a concussion.

-X-

(They attempt to redo the scene. As Daxter is about to say his line, he is interrupted again by Jak. When Jak grabs a wrench and taps on the car, it starts up by itself and takes off, running over Jak's foot)

JAK: MOOOOOOOOTHER-FATHER-SISTER-BROTHER OW!! I GOT A BOO-BOO!! I GOT A BOO-BOO!! OH MY GOD!!

(Daxter laughs hysterically as Jak clutches his foot and continues screaming while rolling on the ground)

TORN: (off-screen) Ya know, the censor guy was just waiting for him to swear so he could hit the bleep button. But his chance never came.

-X-

RAZER: My name is Razer. I work for Mizo.

(Razer takes a drag on his cigarette and blows out a puff)

RAZER: Eventually everyone does.

(Jak starts choking on the smoke and bends over)

JAK: Dude, read the sign.

(Razer looks around)

RAZER: What sign?

(Jak grabs a piece of metal and writes on it with a red marker before shoving it in Razer's face)

JAK: No smoking.

RAZER: Jak, it's part of my character.

(Jak stares at him before writing something else on the metal)

JAK: Exhale in the other direction. Have some consideration.

RAZER: Don't be a baby.

(Jak snatches the cigarette and presses it against Razer's neck)

RAZER: Ow! Ow! Ow! Why you little son of a-

(Razer tackles Jak and they get into a fist fight. The producers try to break it up)

DIRECTOR: This is ridiculous.

-X-

(Jak and Daxter were at the bar when G.T. Blitz walked on-screen)

G.T. BLITZ: There you are, Jak! Getting some local color? Hehehe, you certainly need it. You're positively pale on-screen.

(Jak had accidentally gotten himself drunk before the scene)

JAK: (slurs) Eh, shaddup! You ain't so good lookin' yerself! Don't make me go dark on yer ass!

G.T. BLITZ: You got drunk again, didn't you?

JAK: Nuh-uh! I swear to drunk I'm not God!

(Jak notices the camera)

JAK: (to Daxter) Dude, there's people watching us...HI MOM!!

(Daxter smacks his forehead and shakes his head)

DAXTER: Yea, I think now would be a good time to take five. Or twenty.

-X-

(Razer was introducing UR-86 to the gang. The robot picked Daxter up by the head and dangled him)

RAZER: Don't be shy. This bucket of bolts loves living things. So he can make them dead!

DAXTER: Ow, ow, ow! Too rough! Too rough!

(UR-86 shorts out and bends over, still holding Daxter)

DAXTER: Uh, I think your robot is broken.

RAZER: Oh (beep). Andy, I thought you said this thing wouldn't short out!

ANDY GAVIN: It's not our fault!

(Jak tries to pull UR-86's fingers apart)

JAK: Uh-oh.

DAXTER: "Uh-oh" what?

JAK: I think you're really stuck. This robot's fingers won't budge.

DAXTER: Well, that's just great. Hey, I have an idea. How about you use your rock hard head to knock his wrist off?

JAK: How 'bout I shove my rock hard foot up your ass?

DAXTER: Just shut up and keep trying.

(Jak continues to pull on UR-86's fingers until he becomes fed up and kicks the robot over, breaking him)

JAK: Uh...my bad.

DAXTER: You know how much that hurt?!

(A part of UR-86 springs off of the robot and hits Jak in the crotch. Jak holds himself and falls over)

-X-

(Keira was telling Jak and Daxter about the new car they'd be driving. When Jak bent over to stick his head in the car, Keira smacked him on the butt, causing him to jump up and hit his head)

JAK: What the (beep) was that?! Aw, my head!

KEIRA: Sorry Jak, I just couldn't resist. It was there and it was just begging to be spanked.

JAK: ...You're a (beep)ing perv.

DAXTER: And this would be how many times you've hit your head on something?

(Jak counts on his fingers)

JAK: 3.

DAXTER: Keep telling yourself that.

-X-

KEIRA: I'm a little rusty with the wrench.

(Keira jumps up on the car)

KEIRA: But I'll see to it your vehicle's in tip- Whoa!

(Keira had stomped her foot on the car and it took off, knocking Keira to the ground)

KEIRA: I'm ok!

DAXTER: You have yourself to blame.

KEIRA: What're you talking about?

DAXTER: If you didn't spank Jak, he wouldn't have hit his head on the car, and it wouldn't have screwed anything up!

DIRECTOR: Just go to the next scene already.

-X-

(Jak and Daxter were back in the garage. Daxter was holding a wrench and flipped it in the air)

DAXTER: Now that I've-

JAK: OW!! Dammit, Daxter! Stop flipping that damn wrench around!

DAXTER: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to help you do your job of hitting your head on everything.

JAK: Shut the (beep) up! I'll kick your ass!

DAXTER: You'll have to catch me first! While dodging various flying items!

(Daxter runs around the room and throws random tools at Jak's head, hitting his target every time)

JAK: You (beep)ing suck, Daxter!

DAXTER: You still remember my name? I must not be hitting you hard enough.

(Daxter jumps on the car and drops a full toolbox on Jak's head, causing him to go cross-eyed and stagger about)

JAK: I'm gonna...I'm gonna...I'm gonna...take a nap.

(Jak falls over and passes out)

-X-

(G.T. Blitz was congratulating Jak on winning)

G.T. BLITZ: And here's the lucky winner, ladies and gentlemen!

(The camera floating around on-screen kept zooming in and out on Jak and ended up smashing into his face)

JAK: Oh God! My nose!

DAXTER: And the record is 5, ladies and gentlemen. 5 times that Jak has hit his head on something! Give the man a round of applause.

-X-

DAXTER: And we rocked the racing circuit. Right, Jak? I said right, Jak?

(Jak and Keira were about to kiss)

DAXTER: Hey!

(Jak and Keira glare at him)

DAXTER: Will you kiss her already?

(Keira pulls on Jak's shirt to kiss him, but Jak wasn't paying attention and they accidentally butt heads)

DAXTER: Oh yeah. That's what I call a photo finish.

JAK: (sarcastically) Ha ha. Not funny.

DAXTER: Well, now you're screwed, Keira.

KEIRA: What'd you mean?

DAXTER: You have Jak's curse, now. You're doomed to bang your head against everything in sight when you act.

DIRECTOR: Do it again.

-X-

(Jak and Keira finally kiss)

DAXTER: Oh yeah. That's what I call a photo finish.

DIRECTOR: Cut! And that's a wrap!

JAK: Finally. Can I have my ice bag now?

(One of the producers hands Jak a bag of ice. Jak sighs and puts it on his head)

DAXTER: Well, this sure is gonna get us a lot of hits. I'm just never working-

(Jak jumps out of his seat and covers Daxter's mouth)

JAK: Shh! Don't say it. That sentence is cursed.

DAXTER: What'd ya mean?

JAK: The last three times we've said that, we've had to do another. Don't get us screwed.

Jak and Daxter Bloopers

Jak and Daxter; The Lost Frontier

JAK AND DAXTER: NOOOOOOOO!!