A/N: I just read the Last Battle (the last book) and I find it so sad that Susan wasn't in it, and then I found out that C.S. Lewis said, or implied, that she may come back. So I just had to write this!
Disclaimer: Narnia and its characters belong to C.S. Lewis, and not me.
"It cannot be. It all has to be a lie. None of this can be real. They can't all be gone, not all of them. I mustn't be the only one. Oh, God, please no…"
Susan Pevensie was at her home, her childhood home, sitting on the old, blue couch in the sitting room. Sitting across from her on the matching blue loveseat were two men dressed in black. Both looked on sympathetically at Susan, whose head was cradled in her hands, sobbing.
"We're terribly sorry about this, Miss Pevensie. No one knows for sure what caused the train to crash. We, well, er…" the two men looked at each other. Neither knew what to say to someone who has lost everything at such a young age.
"Perhaps you'd like to come with us," one suggested to Susan, who shook her head.
"No, I'd like to stay here." She said with no emotion in her voice, "I think its best that you leave."
The two men stood up and walked towards the door, Susan following behind them. She opened the door for them, said her "good-byes" and closed the door behind them. Letting out a sob, she leaned against the door for support. Her ear was pressed against the cold, hard wood, so she heard the men talking to one another.
"The poor girl, she's so distressed."
"What do you expect? She lost her parents, her siblings, family friends, and a cousin in that train crash. All in all, she's lost everything."
"At such a young age too. Hopefully there'll be someone for her to lean on."
Then the sound of footsteps came, growing fainter and fainter until she knew they were gone.
Susan's knees gave way. She fell to the floor, a sobbing, hysterical heap. How could this happen? All of them, gone in an instant. She felt lost, gone, all alone in the world. There was no one to turn to, no where to go. No Peter, no Lucy, no Edmund, no mum or dad, no Pevensies. From now on there was only one, and that was Susan.
Peter, Edmund, Lucy, and all those with them on the day of the train crash sat at a long, glass table, laden with food. They were all laughing and talking, telling each other tales of days they had missed. On the outside, everyone seemed happy, but if you were to look into their hearts, especially the Pevensie children, you would see that they were not whole.
"Excuse me for a second, if you please." King Edmund stated, standing up and putting his napkin on the table. Mr. Beaver, whom was telling Edmund a story about building his last dam, nodded.
Edmund left the banquet hall and went out onto the balcony looking down on England, or Fake England, he supposed. Sighing, he looked down on his childhood home, and knew that Susan must be there.
His heart ached at the name. Oh Susan, how he missed her! If only she hadn't strayed, if only she hadn't forgotten! They weren't complete without her; they weren't the Pevensies or the four great rulers of the Golden Age of Narnia, not without her.
"King Edmund, something is troubling you." Said a voice. Edmund turned around and saw it was Aslan.
"Yes, Aslan, there is. It's my sister, you see." Edmund said.
"Queen Lucy?" Aslan inquired.
"No, it's not Lucy I'm talking about. It's Susan, Queen Susan."
"She has lost her way. She strayed from Narnia. The deed is done." The lion said calmly.
"But surely she is not turned away forever?" Edmund pleaded.
"Tell me, Son of Adam, why do you miss her so?" Aslan asked.
"She's my sister, after all! She's a Queen of Narnia, Queen Susan the Gentle. The True Narnia needs her just as much as the fake Narnia did." Edmund looked Aslan in the eyes, silently begging, and continued, "Most of all, Aslan, she's a Pevensie. And I love her."
The king and the lion fell into silence. Edmund glanced at the lion; Aslan looked to be in deep thought. Hopefully he would let Susan come back to Narnia, he missed her deeply. Oh, if only…
"Ed?" Lucy said, running towards her older brother. "There you are! Mr. Beaver said you left a while ago and never came back. I just thought I'd check up on you."
She stopped in front of her brother and Aslan. "Hello, Aslan." She greeted, hugging him affectionately.
"Hello to you too, Queen Lucy. Your brother and I were just talking, but we have finished." Aslan then turned to Edmund, "Go back and enjoy the festivities."
Edmund would've asked about Susan if it weren't for the knowing look Aslan had. Instead he nodded, took Lucy's hand and went back to the banquet hall.
Aslan, however, left.
Susan had cried herself to sleep on the old, blue couch that night. She could not bring herself to walk up the stairs to her bedroom, for in order to get there she would have to pass her sibling's bedrooms. Now, in the early morning, before the sun had risen, she was awake once more. At first she thought it was all just a dream, but the stillness of the house silenced the thought.
No more tears fell from her eyes. Her hurt was beyond that now. She felt horrible. Sad wasn't enough to describe her emotions right then. Words like despair, lost, devastated, and miserable seemed closer. She also felt empty, terribly and utterly empty.
She went to the kitchen to make herself some tea. As she waited for the water to boil, she looked at the breakfast table. It was a large, round wooden table with six matching chairs. Susan looked at the table, memories of the mornings the family had spent there coming back. Peter with his toast and coffee, Lucy eating her cereal (dry, as she liked it), dad and Edmund chatting over their coffee and milk, Susan eating her sausages, and mum eating toast. And the things they'd talk about! The boys conversing about the latest news, Lucy talking to mom about school and such, while Susan joined whatever conversation seemed the most interesting.
There was another thing they'd talk about, though, something Susan thought was silly. "Really, now," she would say, "aren't we all too old for this nonsense?"
Susan frowned, what was the topic of conversation again? Ah, she remembered. Talk about lands within wardrobes and talking beavers and centaurs and evil witches and being kings and queens. Her siblings and family friends had talked about this place a lot on several occasions, and yet, Susan couldn't for the life of her remember what they had called it. It started with an L, or an M, no, that wasn't right.
Of course, they called it Narnia!
Then it hit her. They weren't joking, it wasn't all some silly fantasy, it was real. Narnia was real! The dancing trees, the talking animals, Cair Paravel, and the centaurs all exist!
"And I'm a Queen," Susan said to herself, "I'm Queen Susan the Gentle of Narnia! I lived there during the Golden Age of Narnia, ruling with my brothers and sister." Everything she had forgotten, everything that had happened, hit her right then in the kitchen.
Completely forgetting about the hot water for her tea, she sat down on one of the kitchen chairs to think. It all came to her with a bang and she felt a little dizzy. She couldn't believe she forgot about Narnia, it was the best moments of her life! And what a time to remember!
"Miss Susan." a familiar voice said. Susan looked up. In front of her was a large lion. Normally, Susan would have screamed at the fact that there was a lion in front of her, nonetheless a talking lion, but something told her that she needn't fear him.
"Do you remember me?" the Lion asked.
Susan only had to think about it for a couple of seconds, "Aslan!" she answered, shocked.
Aslan nodded and said, "I see you remember Narnia once again."
"I have. Aslan, I am so sorry that I forgot. I…" Susan broke off, still in shock over everything that has happened.
"Why did you forget?" Aslan prompted.
"I, I didn't mean to forget. It was so hard to handle not seeing Narnia again, so hard that I avoided the subject after a while. I guess I did it so often that eventually I forgot." Susan stared at the floor in shame.
"Your brothers and sisters seemed to cope well." Aslan stated.
"I'm different from them. They are strong enough to handle it, and I'm not." Susan replied.
Susan took her eyes off the floor and looked Aslan in the eyes. "Do you know where my family is?" she asked.
Aslan did not answer right away. "Yes, I do."
"Please, Aslan, tell them that I'm sorry, and that I hope they forgive me." Susan asked, "I hope that you forgive me, too."
"Child, you have made mistakes in your lifetime, but none are too bad that I cannot forgive you if you truly are sorry."
Susan hugged the great lion in relief. If she had not run out of tears long ago she would've wept. She let go of the lion and said "Thank you."
"Now, you have a choice to make." Aslan said, "You can continue life here, or go back with me."
"Go back?" Susan questioned.
"Make the choice, dear child." Aslan said.
Susan answered after a moment of silence to think. "I trust you, Aslan, so I will follow you."
The great lion smiled. "Then hold on." Susan sat on Aslan's back and they left.
Peter was seated on a bench close to the entry way from the balcony. He had been in this Narnia for days now, (or as it felt, seeing as time is irrelevant), and he thought that it would get easier with time, but he still felt as sad as ever.
Peter looked up and saw his younger brother coming towards his left. "Good day, Peter." Edmund greeted.
"Good day," Peter replied, smiling at him. Although Peter rarely said it, he was proud of his brother. He was a nice kid, a troublemaker, sure, when he was younger. When he was sent to that school, though, he got more troublesome and mean. How he has matured!
"Ed," Peter began, "how do you feel about being here?"
"What do you mean?" Edmund asked.
"I mean, how do you feel about, well, dying?"
Edmund shrugged, "I don't know. Weird, I guess. At peace, too."
Peter said "Not upset? Like you haven't lived a full life, or maybe you miss someone."
Edmund looked at Peter with sadness in his eyes, "You miss Susan, too, don't you?"
"Yeah, I guess." Peter sighed. He stared out a nearby window, watching clouds pass. "Lucy misses her too."
Edmund put a comforting hand around his brother and the two sat in silence for a while. Both were in deep thought about what has happened, what will happen, and what to do next. Looking out at the sky, Peter noticed a dark figure emerging in the sky.
"Edmund," Peter asked, not taking his eyes off the figure, "do you see that, over there?"
Edmund squinted his eyes in the direction Peter was looking at. "I believe I do."
The figure was looming in closer and closer each passing second. Peter, as reflex due to his days on the battle field, immediately stood up and ran outside with Edmund at his heels. They stopped at the railing and looked at the seemingly larger dark shape.
"Peter, Edmund! Do see that in the sky?" Lucy asked, coming towards them. "I saw it from one of the windows."
"Do you think it's something dangerous?" Peter asked.
"Mr. Tumnus saw it too, and he said that we needn't worry." Lucy answered.
"What do you suppose it is?" Edmund turned to look at his sister, who just shrugged.
"It's coming closer!" Lucy said, leaning forward.
The figure was indeed coming closer, and closer, when it took a sudden turn to the left and disappeared behind the walls. The Pevensies ran to where the figure supposedly would've landed.
When they came around the corner the first thing they saw was Aslan, standing by the rose bushes (which, by the way, have no thorns).
"Aslan, you're back!" Lucy cried, walking him.
"I didn't know you could fly, Aslan." Edmund told the lion, smiling.
"I can do many things, dear child." Aslan replied, a twinkle in his eye.
"Where did you go, Aslan?" Peter asked.
"That is unimportant at the moment." Aslan said, "You all look troubled."
"Oh, it's nothing, really," Peter answered quickly.
"We miss Susan!" Lucy said, giving Peter a look.
"Of course, she is your sister, after all." Aslan nodded, "But you do understand that she has turned away from Narnia." The Pevensies nodded this time.
"If only we could talk to her again." Lucy said, looking at her shoes.
"If only you could," said a voice.
Peter, Edmund, and Lucy looked for the source of the voice. Susan stepped out from behind the rose bushes and smiled at her siblings. The three others simply gaped at her, at a loss for words. Susan, unsure what to do next, raised her hand and waved.
Peter and Lucy ran towards their sister with open arms and gave her a tight hug. "We've missed you so much!" Lucy cried.
Edmund walked slowly towards his big sister, as though he was unsure if she was real or not. Susan, as though reading his mind, said "I'm really here, Ed, it's me, Susan."
Edmund didn't need anything more to be said. He ran full-force the rest of the way and enveloped his sister in a close hug. Peter and Lucy rejoined the hug, creating a Pevensie circle of love. Susan, although tears wouldn't come before, cried of happiness of finding her family.
"I remember Narnia!" Susan said excitedly once they had stopped hugging.
"That's fantastic, Susan!" Peter said.
"I'll explain all to you later, but first you must show me around." Susan's smile couldn't have been bigger.
They were about to leave when Edmund thought of something. "Susan, you're staying?"
Peter, Lucy, and Susan looked at their brother in shock. "Isn't that what we've been wanting?" Peter asked, sounding shocked and annoyed.
"It is, but, Susan, if you stay, that means that you can't go back." Edmund said carefully, "You'll be dead."
Susan stared at her youngest brother before saying, "I already knew that, Edmund, I knew the moment I left."
"But we can't let you throw your life away for us!" Edmund cried.
Peter took a deep breath, "Ed's right, we can't let you die for us."
"Didn't you miss me?" Susan felt so confused, the smile gone from her lips.
"Of course we did, Su, we missed you terribly. It's just we'd feel terrible if we just let you die." Lucy explained.
"If you all missed me, and I missed all of you, then it's only logical that I stay." Susan insisted.
Peter stepped forward. "I will not let one of my sisters' die, not if I can do anything about it."
"Susan has decided, and if she remains firm with her decision, then it shall be done." Aslan took a step forward towards the Pevensies.
Susan and her siblings looked at each other. "If you really want to…" Lucy began.
"I want to stay. There's nothing for me down there any more." Susan crossed her arms, signaling that she was done with the argument.
"Well, in that case, we ought to go tell everyone that you're here!" Edmund said. He linked his arm with Susan's, Peter's with Lucy's, and Lucy's on Susan's other arm. The four Pevensies walked away, arms together, to show their oldest sister off.
During Susan's warm welcoming, Aslan stayed in the background for a while. He knew how important this time was. After a few moments of watching over the people and creatures of Narnia, he turned and walked away.
After all, there is much work to be done.
A/N: What can I say? Please pardon any minor incorrect details, and I hope you enjoyed the quite long story.