Disclaimer: Please note that the main characters of this piece are purely the legal property of the wonderful Joanne Kathleen Rowling, however i may have disfigured them.

Christmas with the Gwindy's

Part One:

"C'mon, hunnie! You can't do this! My parents are coming! Your parents are coming! Can't you take it off?"

"No. You know i can't Gwindy, darling."

"But it's Christmas Eve! Bumblebee!"

"Christmas Eve JUST happens to be Santa's buisiest day! It's common sense, love!"

Gwindewald and Dumbledore were having a fight. It was the day before Christmas Eve and both Gellert and Albus' parents were due to arrive the next day. Albus' job as a part-time Santa Claus at the local McDonalds was causing a problem with arrangements. Gwindewald was desperate for his parents to be impressed by the life he and Dumbledore had built together. His parents were Jewish and didn't like homosexuality. The idea of celebrating Christmas was troubling enough to them, but had agreed to come with their 

darling Gellert's insisting. Also they wanted their baby to marry Jewish. Big Problems!

"You're a workaholic! You're either off teaching students and running Hogwarts or playing Santa! I have needs, baby! Not just sexual needs either! Those you fulfill! Why can't you be more like me Albus!" Gwindy pleaded.

" You mean i should be a boring alcoholic housewife! I'm not like you because if i was, there'd be no money to keep us alive! It's a good thing that you're not a workaholic, cause if you were, you'd have even less money left cause of all the lawsuits you'd receive!"

"Don't bring that up again! That was just you! Not everyone is allergic to Johnson's Baby Bath!"

Gwindewald was an Avon Lady. Dumbledore had bought some Baby Bath from him and decided to use it as shaving cream; he wanted to experiment with the no-beard look, and got a terrible rash from it.

"Look, Gwindy baby, i can't take Christmas Eve off, but i'll be finished by half eight cause, as the legend goes, kids have to be in bed early for the real thing if they want to get their real presents."

"Ok, then, darling!sigh I'll do a late dinner and have to keep your parents and mine occupied with my English wit and charm."

Dumbledore resisted the temptation to say-"What wit."His jokes were crap.

Later, as Gwindewald was preparing dinner, (5 hours early), Albus was suffering with the fake beard he had to wear as his own was shaved off. The crappy, cheap material that it was made from was irritating his rash which was still there.

"Only five hours to put up with this shit before i quit this job forever and get a fine, fat pay-cheque!" He thought as he tried not to pull the beard from his face every five seconds.

Meanwhile, Gwindy's dinner wasn't going well. He had now succeeded in burning two turkeys-cooking was Albus' strong point. His vegetables ended up under of over-done and his ham was, well, non-existent. Also, his parents had just called to say that they would be there soon-in an hour in fact. That gave him an extra hour and a half to entertain them.

"Damn!!" He said aloud as the football team he had betted quite alot of money on-yes he had a gambling problem; 

that's why Dumbledore had had to get a second job-was loosing. Badly. Turning to check the turkey, he opened the oven, burned himself, was pleased when he saw that his magic cooking oil had worked this time and that his timing was perfect. He lifted it out of the oven with his polka-dot cooking gloves that Dumbledore had got him for his birthday to encourage him to cook more, proud of his work. Then, the tv caught his attention. His team had all received red cards. Outraged beyond belief, Gwindewald swung his hands up in the air in anguish, tossing his prized turkey out the open window and through Dumbledore's adored Cadallic car's window.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Gwindewald's temper got the better of him-he was having anger management classes, more money for D to be spending-and threw all his grandmother's finest china on the floor. He had now lost a turkey, lots of money, and probably his mother's love for destroying precious family heirlooms. But as he took a large swig of rose, he didn't care.