In Love and War:

Notes: Just an idea I had. It's quite long, about ten chapters so far, so just be patient as I edit and submit them. Thank you.

Lily thought it was all very appropriate. It hadn't rained a bit all summer, until that day.

Her pale fingers twisted tightly around the dark wooden handle of her umbrella, staring blankly ahead.

She was jealous, so incredibly jealous of Petunia, sobbing noisily into her fiancé's white handkerchief, his initials VD monogrammed into the bottom corner. Lily wanted more than anything to cry, to prove to her sister that she was grieving their parents as well, to show her how badly it hurt her, too, but she couldn't. She simply stared at the caskets, her gaze as empty as her parents' had been when she'd first seen them after they died.

They hadn't simply died, she reminded herself, they'd been killed, murdered by Death Eaters. It had been some sick sort of raid, some mass Muggle murder, and her parents had been a part of it. The Death Eaters had once again been trying to purge the nation of those which they considered unworthy. Her parents had been so brave; they'd told her and her sister to hide, so that they might be saved, and they were...

Lily remembered being so desperately afraid, hugging her legs to her chest, hiding her face in her knees, praying that the Death Eaters wouldn't try to detect any other human lifeforms in the house. She selfishly wished that they would just move on to some other home so that she and her sister might be spared.

She remembered Petunia, silently sobbing, refusing to even look at her. Even in such a time, when they ought have been working together to try to stay alive, she hated Lily. She refused to associate herself with her.

Trying to distract herself from the hatred her sister felt for her, she crawled to the door, staring out the small crack. She watched her parents crumpling to the floor in a flash of green light—first her father, her mother seconds after.

And finally, the two sisters made their way out of the hall closet, their hearts pounding in their throats, and they closely examined their parents, glassy eyes staring at the ceiling, blank expressions etched into every inch of their faces. Lily half-admired them—they didn't seem afraid at all, but, she reminded herself, maybe they didn't quite understand...

Lily closed her eyes tightly, tears still not coming. She wanted so desperately to cry, standing there, thinking of her parents. She wished her mother was there to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and whisper that it would be all right; she wished her father was there to hold her tightly and make her feel safe.

"I hope you're happy." She was slightly startled by the voice, whipping around to see her sister. Her eyes were bloodshot and she looked positively livid.

"Wh-what?" Lily asked, bewildered, simply staring at her sister.

"This is all your fault!" Petunia said shrilly. "If you weren't such a—such a freak, we wouldn't be burying our parents today!" She started sobbing hysterically again, and Vernon wrapped his large arms around her, leading her away without even a glance at Lily.

The umbrella fell to Lily's side, her fingers still tightly wound around its sleek handle.

It was her fault, she told herself. Petunia had been right, completely right. If she hadn't been told seven years before that she was a witch, that magic blood was pumping through her body, none of this would have happened. She would not be burying her parents prematurely, so long before they should have died.

It was all her fault.

The rain was chilling her to the bone, her soaked hair sticking to her pale face, her black dress hanging limply on her skin. She wanted more than anything just to cry, to remind herself that she was still alive, that this pain was real, but tears still would not come.


The voice she heard this time was weak, and unwantedly familiar. She turned, staring straight into the raven eyes of Severus Snape.

Anger boiled inside her. People like him had done this to her parents, how dare he show his face at the service? What had possessed him, what made him think that this was okay, that she'd want him there?

"Lily, I'm so sorry..."

Her head was throbbing. Sorry? He was sorry? How could he expect apologies to bring her parents back from the dead, to make Petunia love her again, to make her his friend again? It was such a small, meaningless word and she hoped she'd never hear him use it again.

Her face remained expressionless and she pushed herself past him, her shoulder colliding sharply with his, the most she could do to make him understand how furious she was to see him.

It was all because of people like him, she told herself, people who toyed with Dark Magic and other things that weren't meant to be touched. And to think that they'd once been friends...

Lily wished she could cry, her heart shattered into a million pieces, but she couldn't. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he'd hurt her, that he'd killed her the day her parents had died.